Thirteen years ago, living in Vancouver, with my aching soul and my crashing marriage, I was swimming in a pool of heartache and pain...My soul was desperately yearning to return to its Source, to reconnect to its Heavenly Father, to heal its brokenness...And so the marriage ended and the journey for my True Self began.
I was no stranger to my Jewish roots, as I grew up going to Jewish elementary and high schools, but once I began to go back to those roots by reading, learning and re-learning the prayers I had learned many, many years before, I discovered how devoid of G-d and spirituality my life had been up to that point.
I began going to Torah(bible) classes given by different rabbis and their wives....I started attending services every Friday night and Saturday morning. Sooner than I knew it, I became a part of a wonderful and very close knit community with a wonderful Rabbi and his fantastic wife. Their warmth, love, support and deep connection to G-d was both inspiring and contagious.
Three years later, I came to Israel to learn Torah for a summer and while here, there were bus bombings and bloodshed every week. I remember ever so distinctly thinking to myself " How can I go back to Canada now? Why is my blood better than my brothers and sisters who live here? Why should I be off the hook? I belong HERE, not there." Instead of watching Jewish history unfold from afar, I decided to take part in MAKING Jewish history happen. The following summer, I made Aliyah(moved to Israel) and never looked back.
When I made Aliyah, I did it alone. No husband, no kids and no immediate family here, waiting to help me with my transition. Those first years were both very difficult and very rewarding at the same time.
I put all my faith and trust in my Father in Heaven and I knew that He had brought me here for a reason. That He really wanted me to be here, even though it was hard. I came here hoping to meet the right man right as I got off the plane, to get married, have kids and to build our "Bayit Ne'eman B'Yisrael"(Our home faithful to the Traditions of Israel). G-d had other plans for me. I had to date a lot, get frustrated a lot, lose hope many times (for short periods at a time) and pray even harder every time, before G-d felt that my husband and I were ready for each other.
I remember a few months before I met Hubby I ended a very painful and unhealthy relationship. One of the Rabbis wives that I was learning Torah with here(who remains an inspiration to me til this day) had called to check in and see how I was feeling after I had told her of the breakup. I told her the following" Hashem (G-d) is testing me. He's trying to push me way from Him, but I won't let him do that. I'll just pray harder and do more to make Him proud of me".
Four months later, I met my husband and 8 months after that, we were married. Now, BH(Thank G-d), we've been married 4 years and have 3 beautiful children whom we adore and whom we feel tremendously blessed with.
The moral of my story? Keep the faith. Just when you think all hope is lost, that's when there's so much hope to be revealed to you. Just when you feel at your lowest and weakest point, that is when you canreach within yourself and become the strongest and the best YOU that you've ever been.
All my Love,
Cigal
