The Golden Treasure Chest of Tears

Golani Brigade Sergeant Nachshon Mordechai Wachsman was an IDF soldier abducted by Hamas in 1994. He was held hostage by the organization for six days and executed during a failed military rescue operation. Wachsman's parents immediately appealed to world leaders, including then-Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, American President Bill Clinton and Muslim religious leaders to take every action necessary to have their son released.

 
On that Thursday night, with only 24 hours remaining until the ultimatum expired, prayer vigils for Wachsman were held across Israel and over 100,000 people from all religious, political, and social spheres gathered at the Western Wall to pray for his safe return. People who had never lit Shabbat candles had lit for Nachshon. The entire Nation of Israel was united and crying from the depths of their souls for the safe return of this very special hero of Israel.


How could it be that he wasn't saved? All those tears? All those tfilot? An entire nation united and begging our Heavenly Father to bring him back home? How could it be that Nachshon never made it back to his family's loving arms?
Nachshon's father's response was " Our loving father loves answering with a resounding"yes" to most of our requests, but sometimes, he has to say "No".


A woman once came to Reb Aryeh Levine to inform him that her husband was very ill and that he really needed tfilot (prayers). The holy Rabbi prayed as did the wife.They both implored our Father in Heaven to heal the sick husband. A few days later, the husband passed away and the wife came to the Rav crying and saying: "What were all my tfilot for? Why did I pray so hard for my dear husband and then G-d took him from me? Were my tears shed for nothing?".


Four years ago, the world lost a vivacious, strong and beautiful young mother named Ayala Pamela. She was diagnosed with metastatic cancer and left the world 6 weeks after the diagnosis. During those 6 weeks, hundreds of people around the world were praying for a speedy and complete recovery, pleading with G-d not to separate this precious soul from her very small children.
For four years now, hundreds of people around the world have been praying for a quick and speedy recovery for another dear and very beautiful friend named Rachael (Dahlben) Masri. She was a strong, smart, beautiful and vivacious young woman and mother who was filled with pure love for her children and her fellow Jew.


In moments where grief and sadness overtake me and I feel angry at G-d for taking away my dear friends, I shake my fists up to the heavens and say "Why, G-d? Why? Why did these two beloved jewels have to leave this earth so prematurely? Why are there now five orphans who will rely on anecdotes from others to remember their precious mothers? Did we all cry and beg you for nothing? What was the point of all the hafrashot challah? Of all the Tehillim groups? Of all the Mi Sh'berachs in shul? Where did all our tears go?"




This past Tuesday night, a handful of women and I went to a class given by Rebbetzin Esther Shurin, from our Alma Mater, Midreshet Rachel v'Chaya, the seminary where both Ayala Pamela and Rachael learned Torah. Rebbetzin Shurin shared the story of Nachshon and Reb Aryeh Levine and what both Nachshon's father and the Rav answered. The Rav told the grieving woman that Hashem stores our tears...Every last one. Not one tear is left unaccounted for.



I imagine that way up in heaven, by the Kisseh Hakavod, G-d's Heavenly Throne, lies a beautiful golden treasure chest, filled with Am Yisrael's tears. I imagine that those tears and our ultimate Redemption are somehow connected. I pray that the beautiful Ayala Pamela and the gorgeous Rachael are acting as strong advocates for us up there.



May their memories be blessed for Eternity.

From a Mother of Future Soldiers

Dear Charedi Brothers and Sisters in Uniform,

They're scorning, cursing, threatening and intimidating you.
They're using a despicable word to describe you (Chardak, a play on words from Charedi and charak together(cockroach)). This word was created from their rage and indignation.
In their white shirts and black pants, wearing their black hats, black kippot or streimels, they are looking down at you and trying to terrorize you into submission. There is no talking to them in their current state. Their ears, eyes and and hearts are closed.

They feel enraged, ashamed and betrayed by you. They feel shocked and heartbroken by your choices. Maybe they're your parents, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, your cousins, your teachers, your rebbes, your friends you went to school with. People who you grew up with. People who want to pound their truth and reality into you....

But that truth and reality is not yours. Yours is a very different truth and a very different reality. You are a strong and committed Eved Hashem (G-d's servant), even if they don't think you are. You have a deep and meaningful relationship with Him just like they do, maybe even more so. You have decided to join His Army. His holy men and women in uniform whose mission it is to protect the Nation of Israel. The painful and derogatory words from your opponents are aimed directly at your heart, like sharp arrows meant to hurt you. But you, my dear brothers and sisters, you remain strong and relatively unscathed. You know what your true G-dly mission is and you stand firmly behind it, despite the naysayers that surround you.

You are strong, brave and resilient and I admire your dedication to what you believe to be true. When I see you with your black kippa, your army uniform and the M16 hanging off your shoulder, just know that my heart swells with pride in you for following your heart where it led you. Just know that in my eyes, you are a holy and beautiful Kiddush Hashem(sanctification of G-d's name), striving to make positive changes to our very hurting nation. The naysayers simply don't realize that you are trailblazers, paving the way for a much brighter future for our family, Am Yisrael. I know how hard it must be for you to stand strong and firm in your beliefs and your mission, but please know in your heart of hearts, that there is at least one mother of future soldiers(and likely thousands of others) that loves you, prays for you and salutes you from the sidelines.


With Love and Admiration,
Cigal

Teach them Kindness and Empathy

This morning, my youngest little guy had to go for (fasting) blood work and my oldest insisted on coming with us. I convinced my daughter to go to her preschool instead of joining us. Earlier in the week, the oldest, who is terrified of needles, had some blood work done and afterwards, the youngest gave him a big hug and a big kiss, reminding him that he had gotten through it, that it was over and that there was no more need to cry.

Today, my oldest wanted to repay him and be there to support him during what he thought would be a very scary and challenging time for his little brother.. My youngest has a tremendous threshold for pain and he didn't bat an eyelash while the nurse went looking (and quickly found) a viable vein. The little guy sat through the blood work without so much as a peep. Afterwards, my oldest gave him a big hug and a big kiss and said "Wow! You're so brave".

I had promised the boys that I'd buy them something yummy to eat after the blood work. They both chose cheese danishes. When we got to the bakery, we were told that we could buy 2 for 10 or 3 for 12. I figured I'd have one with my cup of coffee after I'd drop them off at their preschool/kindergarten.

On our walk to drop off the oldest, we spotted a street cleaner that we had befriended a few years ago. A sweet and kind looking Ethiopian man who we always say "Good Morning" or "Good Afternoon" to when we pass him on the street. It is very important to me that my children acknowledge services that are given to them with gratitude and a smile. The weather these days is unbearably hot and these hard working street cleaners can really use some friendly "Good Mornings/Afternoons" from passersby. My oldest spots him from a distance and says to me" Ema, did you eat your cheesecake yet?". I said no and I knew exactly what was coming next. "Ema, let's give the cheesecake to our friend. He works so hard and it's so hot out here." I was so moved and touched by the hugeness of my boy's heart, that I gladly gave him the cheesecake and said" Tell him to eat it with his cup of coffee later". My 6 year old went over to the street cleaner, said "Good Morning" and then told him "Have it with your cup of coffee later". Our friend's face lit up with a gigantic smile and he thanked my boy profusely.

We live in a sometimes thankless world. A world filled with darkness and pain, at times. It dawns on me every day, how if people used more kindness and empathy in their daily encounters with their families, friends, acquaintances and even strangers on the street who could use a friendly "hello" or "good morning", our world would be a much better place.

We can all make our own contributions.

Let's start NOW.

Love,
Cigal

The Main Thing

We had planned it for a couple of weeks. The Hubster, my mother and I were heading to Jerusalem on an important mission. The babysitter had shown up and we were all set to go when I read this headline :

 http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/204892#.Vm7Dp7-4rLs

Over the last couple of months of stabbings, shootings and car rammings, I feel, along with the rest of my people here, in the land that we love so dearly, that breathing can sometimes feel elusive. That sometimes the agony and the pain runs so deep, that it can be literally near impossible to catch our breath.

This afternoon, an Arab driver plowed into commuters standing at a bus stop next to iconic Chords Bridge, including a baby in serious condition.This was the exact location that we would be disembarking the bus and going to catch the next bus to bring us directly to our destination.

My first thought was, maybe we shouldn't go. But then the terrorists win.
My next thought, both Hubster and I are going together...Maybe one of us should stay behind. What if there's an attack and we both get hurt (or worse)? What will become of our children?
The following thought occurred while already on the bus and it was the one I chose to focus on:

A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd;​ I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures:​
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul:
He leads me in the paths of righteous​ness for his name's sake.
Thoug​h I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death,
I will fear no evil: for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows​.
Surel​y goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

We took the bus. We passed the scene of the attack. I continued to breathe slowly and steadily and with Hubster's gentle prodding, I reminded myself that the main thing is not to fear at all.

With Love,
Cigal

The Nation of Light

"Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy; Though I am fallen, I shall arise; Though I sit in darkness, the LORD is a light unto me."(Micah 7:8)
This prophecy continues to ring more and more true on a daily basis in Israel, especially during the recent horrific wave of terror. Throughout our long history we have been murdered, beaten and exiled but we grieve and then we dust ourselves off, get up and  rebuild to make this world a better place.Where there is darkness, the Jewish Nation brings light, for without the darkness, there can be no light.

Last night, I had the honour to attend the most awe-inspiring and moving wedding that I have ever been to. That of Sarah Tchiya Litman and Ariel Beigel, a beautiful young couple who was meant to get married 2 weeks ago, until Sarah's father, Rabbi Yaakov Litman Z"L (may his memory be blessed) and her 18 year old brother Netanel Z"L(may his memory be blessed), were murdered by Arab terrorists on their way to celebrate with Ariel, their future son and brother-in-law. They were on their way to his Shabbat Chattan (the Sabbath before a young man gets married). Sarah Techiya, her mother and their family sat shiva and the young couple decided not to delay the wedding, but rather to make it happen the week she got up from Shiva. The young couple made an announcement to the entire Nation of Israel  via social media and invited all of us to join them on their beautiful day. I'm pretty sure I'm not exaggerating when I say there were at least 10 000 people there. Jews of every stripe and color, from all over Israel and all over the world went to great lengths to be able to be there, celebrating this holy union with the young couple. People from Cincinnati, Montreal  and communities all over Israel took buses, trains and airplanes in order to do the tremendous mitzvah of "L'Sameach Chattan V'Kallah" (bringing joy to a bride and groom).
There were thousands of people outside the hall, singing and dancing, trying to make their way in to dance with the bride and groom...It was like there were dozens of weddings happening all around the grounds of The Conference Center simultaneosly. Hubby and I didn't manage to get into the hall , as we had a bus to catch and the line going in was enormous, but it didn't even matter. Apparently, at one point during the evening, the manager of the hall just got on the mic and tearfully announced that the hall was way beyond capacity, asking everyone who already danced to leave so that the thousands waiting outside could come in.

Meanwhile, outside, people were singing, dancing and playing musical instruments. The love and the achdut(unity) in the crowd were palpable. At one point, with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I looked up to the heavens and thought to myself"Ribono Shel Olam (Master of the Universe)...Look at us!!! Look at how much we love each other!!! Look at how much we love YOU!!! Let us be this way for eternity!!! I don't want this feeling to ever end!".

And this is the Nation of Israel.Our enemies want to destroy us... To send us into the sea. But they don't realize yet, that the more they try destroying us, the more empowered, strong and united we become. Despite the unthinkable tragedies that we've endured throughout the ages, and despite our enemies who try to extinguish the light that lies within us, we are a Nation made of Light and we will live on forever!!!!

May the beautiful new couple, Sarah Techiya and Ariel Beigel continue to shine their strength, resilience, light and deep love onto their Nation.

Am Yisrael Chai!!! 

With Love,
Cigal

Listen up, Outside World!

She's tall, slim and beautiful. Her thick, healthy-looking and gorgeous head of curls bounce as she walks down the street, causing people to turn heads as she smiles at them with her perfect pearly whites. She is the envy of every woman who looks at her and the object of desire of every man whom she shares eye contact with.

He's handsome, slender and muscular. The cool kid. All the guys want to hang out with him and all the girls go all googly eyed when he smiles his charming and beautiful smile at them.

But it's all external. Inside, that tall and beautiful girl hides mountains of junk food in her closet, ravages all of it and then sticks her finger down her throat to purge her body. When she looks at herself in the mirror, she sees a big, fat and scary looking monster...Not the beauty that everyone else sees. She cries herself to sleep at night and wonders how much longer she'll need to endure and when the pain will finally end. From close up, she has a gorgeous smile, but if you look deeper, you see the sadness etched deeply into her eyes and the lines surrounding them.

He is in agony most of the time. He gets these horrible cramps in his abdomen and a sense of urgency to run to the washroom to either throw up or to have a bowel movement(or both). He can't keep down any solids or liquids. There is no time to waste. If he doesn't get to the washroom ASAP, he'll embarrass himself with an accident, wherever he may be (at the mall, in class, at a party). At times, he may run and use the handicapped washroom stall because all the other stalls are taken and he simply can't wait. And then come the dirty looks and accusatory comments from the other people waiting in line. "You're not handicapped. Why would you use a handicapped stall?". The truth is, HE IS handicapped. He simply CANNOT wait. He has Crohn's Disease.

When I was 23 years old, I got diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, an incredibly painful and debilitating inflammatory bowel disease that can be very deceiving to the outside world.

To the outside world, I looked great. I was still my outgoing and friendly self, super creative, adventurous, kind and empathetic. But on the inside, I was falling to pieces. I literally felt like someone was stabbing away at my intestines slowly and sadistically. My world was crashing and I was all alone to try and keep it from shattering...No amount of care and concern from people around could take the agony away. Even the doctors couldn't "get it". I had lost a lot of weight, was wearing super fashionable and form fitting clothing and was trying to maintain as much of the"normal me" as I could, whenever I could. But there were times when I just couldn't. Times when I was keeled over in the fetus position, crying in agony, praying for the unbearable pain to stop. I thank G-d every day of my life for the two angel doctors who figured out the best way to heal me. Thank G-d,I haven't had an episode since before I had kids.

So listen up, Outside World: You need a heck of a lot more awareness and empathy!!! There are millions of people who suffer silently every single day of their lives. Whether they have a mental illness like Depression, Anxiety or Bipolar Disorder, or they have a chronic and debilitating disease like Crohn's/Colitis/Fibromyalgia, DO NOT JUDGE a person by their outer appearance. They may look fine to you. They may even look great. Meanwhile, they may be struggling around the clock to keep their stuff together. If you see a seemingly fine person using a handicapped washroom stall, keep your mouth shut. If someone reacts to something you say or do in a way that seems exaggerated to you, BE KIND, NOT JUDGMENTAL.  Offer support, not criticism. Be gentle, not gruff or rude. You never know what other people may be struggling with.

With Love,
Cigal

Stand Up

When I was in high school, I was bullied relentlessly by a group of popular boys and girls who got their jollies by seeing me and other nice kids like me wince in pain as the insults and put downs were released from their unforgiving mouths. I was a hard working, successful (for the most part) student. A nice girl who tried hard to fit in but somehow couldn't.

They made fun of my name, one that wasn't so popular in Canada. They made fun of my weight (I was slightly overweight) and tried to make me feel like I was the most disgusting, despicable and unwanted person on the planet.

Thank G-d for a few angelic friends who never joined in the barrage of taunts and insults. Thank G-d for those who saw me for who I was and loved me anyways.

The teachers didn't notice my pain. And if they did, they turned a blind eye. I felt like there were no grownups in my life to share with...But yet, I survived.

Fast forward to my adult years, I worked as a teacher and as a school counselor for many years and have never allowed any type of bullying to rear its ugly head into my classrooms. I have always had strong messages for the bullies, the bullied and the bystanders.

To my tormentors during high school, I feel sorry for you. You must have been going through some terrible things yourselves, that made you feel the need to try destroying my soul and the souls of other sweet, kind and sensitive kids who caused you no harm.

To my angel friends, who stood by me, held my hand, dried my tears and gave me strength to return to school the next day, you know who you are. Thank you. You helped me stay above water and allowed me to build a strong armor around myself that would not allow me to crack.

To those of you who stood by and watched as they tortured me, picked on me and tried to destroy me, SHAME ON YOU. In Judaism, there is a very powerful concept of "Lo Ta'amod al Dam Re'echa...Do not stand idly by as your brother's blood is being spilled". I pray that you have all developed a thicker skin and that you now stand up to injustice when you see it.

To all of you, my dear readers, do NOT be bystanders. Especially nowadays, with the evolution of bullying. Now we hear stories on the news of kids who committed suicide because of cyber bullying through email, Facebook or Twitter. Stay alert. Stay aware of who your child is friends with (or not). Keep lines of communication safe and open. Parents, TALK TO YOUR KIDS DAILY. Street proof them. Give them a broad feelings vocabulary and make them know you have their backs. Teach them that they are strong, beautiful and worthy and don't deserve to be treated like garbage. You have the ability and the tools to teach your kids resilience. START NOW.

With Love,
Cigal

http://trending.world/this-girl-is-being-bullied-at-the-bus-stop-watch-what-the-adults-do-who-witness-it.html