Sunday, July 6, 2014

Speak Your Truth with Love

We live in a religious community with mostly wonderful people who do tremendous chessed(good deeds) and are constantly striving to improve their relationship with G-d and their fellow Jew. There are many lovely parks for small children to play in and some fantastic pre-schools. But our community is very much lacking activities for our tweens and teens. We don't have anywhere for them to gather in healthy and positive ways , such as a clubhouse, a pool hall, basketball courts, a soccer field, a swimming pool or a skating park.Unfortunately, bored teens with no healthy outlets turn to all kinds of problematic behaviors, such as drinking, smoking, using drugs and vandalism.

About a month ago, my 22 month old baby fell on his hand at a park down the street from our home and got a cut that was bleeding profusely. I was sure a piece of glass went in. There happened to be a Hatzala ambulance right near there, so I ran over with my crying baby...The guy washed his wound, bandaged him up and told me to go to my doctor. My doctor wasn't working that day. The doctor I took him to washed the hand, glued it and wrapped it up. I told her I was sure there was something in there and she adamantly disagreed. She said it looked worse than it was. That night( The eve of Shavuot), little guy pulled off the glue and the bandage.The wound got totally infected even with me putting on antibiotic cream and bandages twice a day . On Friday am, his doctor said to continue with the antibiotic cream until Sunday and that if it wasn't improving, we'd put him on oral antibiotics. I told his doctor I was sure it wasn't going to help because I was now 1000% sure there was something stuck in his hand. After a week of antibiotics, I brought him back to his doctor who said "you're probably right...go to emergency". They did an xray and I, a complete layman, saw something obviously there. They tried local anesthetic and couldn't get it out because it was too deep, so he got admitted for surgery. He stopped eating at 11am.At 12:45 am, late Wednesday night or early Thursday am, they took him in for surgery and told me it would last the most an hour. I was the only one in the waiting room, with pitch black hallways surrounding me and not a soul in sight. My heart was palpitating like it never had before.At 3:20 am( almost 3 hours later), the surgeon came out with a little jar and the piece of glass(the size of my pinky nail). Apparently, the glass had punctured an artery and two nerves, so they had to do reparative surgery to boot and then he had to be on IV blood thinners for 5 full days. 

My heart aches for my brave little soldier who sat with a shard of glass in his hand for 2 1/2 weeks and barely complained. My emotions range from rage at the first doctor for undermining my very strong motherly instincts that something was in his little hand. Then the rage moves to our bored teens who hang out in the parks drinking beer and vodka. Out of sheer boredom and thoughtlessness, these wayward youth go on to smash their empty bottles on the ground where little children play. And then there's our mayor and his municipality workers who do very little, if anything to fix the problem...

I have lived here for almost 6 years and have accepted all these things like most of the other residents do, But NO MORE ACCEPTANCE. It's time to speak up. No more complacency.

The other night, as I was heading home from the supermarket, I saw a large group of teen Hebrew speaking boys smoking, being ultra loud and boisterous and hanging out on the stairs by a park near my home. I walked past them and then decided "Nope, G-d is giving me an opportunity and I'm not gonna miss it".

I walked back to the boys, stopped and wished them a good evening with a big smile on my face. I then proceeded to ask them if they ever indulge in a nice cold beer or a refreshing bottle of vodka in the parks. They rolled their eyeballs at me and one of them said" No, we don't drink at all, it's so bad for us". He laughed and then he rolled his eyes again. I didn't let that stop me. I said" Do you ever see anyone else drink and then break their bottle?" "Ya", said the ringleader. "But I never do that"(he got softer). I said"The reason I'm asking is because my baby fell on a piece of broken glass at the park and had to have major surgery". The Ringleader looked white like a ghost. I said "You boys look like good boys"(they totally LOOKED and ACTED the part of beer-bottle-smashing-teens). "I'm sure you guys are also smart boys and you know not to throw bottles on the ground, especially in a park where children play. But I'm asking you to help me out here. If you see anyone doing that, please remember my baby and tell his story". The Ringleader was silent and looked distraught after I shared our story.

If I positively affected even ONE of those 15 teens to do the right thing, that's a great start.



With Love,
Cigal

1 comment:

  1. Hi, Cigal:
    Kol hakavod on your initiative and the way you spoke to those boys.
    I would give a piece of your mind to your own physician as well as the one who took over for him. Such malpractice (for that is what it is), on both of their parts, should not be overlooked. A punctured artery is a very serious matter.

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