Goodbye, my sons

I never hugged you, kissed you or stroked your hair. I never bathed you or changed your diapers. I never clapped for you when you took those first tentative steps and I never squealed in delight when I saw your first tooth.

I never cheered you on when you started using the toilet and when you threw out your pacifiers.

I never got that sinking feeling that mothers get when they bring their little ones to preschool for the first time and the little ones hold on to their mothers for dear life, terrified to let them leave.

I never told you I was proud of you, nor did I ever tell you that I love you.

I never got upset with you for fighting with your siblings or for breaking your brother's favorite toy.

I never held you in my arms to comfort you when you were sick, sad or just plain tired.

I never laid down next to you at night to hear the details of your day.

I never chased a ball with you, blew bubbles with you or splashed around in cool water with you during the hot summer months.

I never rocked you back to sleep when you woke up terrified by dreams that shook your world up.

I never even met you, but you were my sons, killed at the hands of evil, brutal terrorists who derived joy and pleasure from my loss. My heart aches for you, Yochai and Dor Chaim. In this tiny little country of ours that knows very little, if any degrees of separation, I feel like my world just grew darker, as two beautiful rays of light were extinguished from it. You were heroes, my boys. You fought to defend your people and your nation and sacrificed yourselves and your beautiful young lives in the process.

Your birth families are devastated. They are crushed beyond words. They are sobbing bitter tears and wondering how to continue living from now on. And your surrogate family, the entire Nation of Israel, joins them in their unbearable pain. We are a nation with one giant heart and with every loss, that heart cracks a little bit more each time. But it will never ever break.


Goodbye, my sons. Your memory will live deep within your family's heart.


יהי זכרם ברוך
Major Yochai Kalangel, 25 years old (Har Gilo)
Staff Sgt. Dor Chaim Nini, 20 years old (Shtulim)

With love,


Cigal