A Good Look in the Mirror

He dons peyot(side locks) and a black hat. You see him running into a synagogue to get to prayers on time. As he exits, you see him run over to a man with his hand outstretched and place some coins in his shaking and dirty hand, while offering the needy Jew words of encouragement and strength. The man in the black hat has lips constantly moving in prayer. He learns Torah every day and does mitzvot (good deeds), except that all that changes when he walks through the door of his house and closes it at the end of the day. There, his entire demeanor changes. He becomes an angry tyrant, yelling, towering, threatening and shoving whomever gets in his way...

Her mitpachat (head covering) covers every last strand of hair on her head. Her arms are fully covered and her long skirt and dark tights ensure that her legs are fully covered as well. She's a principal at an all girls school, training young girls to value the importance of modesty and leading by perfect example. A woman in jeans and a tshirt walks by the principal at a bus stop and feels those judging eyes moving across her body...She feels the stares of disapproval and the looks of disgust....


Today after dropping my oldest son off at his preschool, I went to the center of town to grab a quick coffee to take home with me. Standing in front of me in line was a young woman with a mohawk haircut, multiple piercings in her ear and her nose and tight black pants with a short sleeved black shirt. She was being served by the young woman behind the counter, who was preparing a healthy and delicious looking sandwich for her. When the sandwich was ready, she paid, went to put the sandwich down and went to do Netilat Yadayim (ritual washing of the hands before eating bread). As she went to sit at her place, out of the corner of my eye, I watched a very beautiful moment when this young woman, filled with tremendous kavana (intent) and closed eyes, said the blessing before eating bread.


As I stood there inspired and blown away by her sincere intent, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I would have never expected this from her and suddenly I felt very ugly. And very ashamed of myself. Who the heck am I to judge this beautiful young woman who is serving our Creator? The way she was dressed automatically made me judge her.It automatically made me assume that she doesn't recognize where that beautiful healthy sandwich really came from. But I was wrong. Dead wrong.

We all do it and we all must stop. The uniform is just that. A uniform. A person's truth lies within their soul and their heart not in their dress code. The kippa or lack thereof says nothing about the person's soul. The mitpachat, sheitel or mohawk are just external layers that mean so very little. We must all take a good look in the mirror and ask ourselves how we want people to judge us,  and then we must act in kind.

With Love,

Cigal

United By Love

On June 12th, 2014, Israeli teens Naftali Fraenkel, Gilad Shaer and Eyal Yifrah were kidnapped by Hamas terrorists. For 18 days, before we knew with certainty of their tragic fate, the pure love and unity that poured out from our Nation was both immeasurable and indescribable.All of our differences were left aside and nothing but our deep connection to one another mattered. For eighteen days, our Nation showed the pure love of brothers and sisters  On June 30th, the bodies were found. Today, on the Jewish calendar, marks a year since that dreadful day.

And at the request of the Three Mothers, and their families, today is Unity Day, in memory of the three beautiful boys who inspired an unprecedented outpouring of love, acts of random kindness, prayer and connection within the entire Jewish Nation both in Israel and abroad.

According to Rabbi Shais Taub, an American Hassidic rabbi and author that is also known for his work in the field of addiction recovery and is a weekly columnist for Ami magazine, "The Jewish Woman is called the Akeret Bayit, the foundation of the home...And since the whole Jewish people is made up of many homes,  the Jewish woman is really the foundation of the Jewish people as a whole" (Rabbi Shais Taub). This morning was proof of this.

This morning, I had the honor and the pleasure to unite with hundreds of my beautiful sisters, from young children to grandmothers, from National Religious, to Traditional and Charedi (Ultra Orthodox), in my town of Ramat Beit Shemesh. We first formed a human chain, hand in hand, on one of our circular streets(which happens to be the street I live on). We stood there singing, dancing, praying and then we all moved on to an incredibly moving, uplifting and inspiring gathering in a park down the road, where we heard inspiring words from Rabbis, from Naftali's sister and father, and from young women who knew the boys and their families.

As I stood there, both as a participant and as an observer, I was in awe of the strength and the beauty that defines my beautiful Nation. We carry so much national pain with us, and yet, we stand tall and proud as we raise our eyes and hearts to the heavens beseeching our Heavenly Father to hear our prayers to end the pain. And all the while, we never give up hope that that day will surely come and that all of our pain and suffering will come to an end, and we'll know nothing but joy.

To Eyal, Naftali and Gilad, I have no doubt that you were watching us and feeling tremendous pride in your strong and beautiful birth mothers who came up with the gorgeous idea of Unity Day and that you were smiling at the rest of your mothers and sisters who took their request to heart and followed suite with open hearts and tremendous love.

May the memories of Gilad, Eyal and Naftali be blessed and may our Heavenly Father continue to bless their families with love, support and strength wherever they turn.

Yehi Zichram Baruch.

With Love,
Cigal