Be their rock

This morning, my little boy had a hard time letting me leave him at preschool. As I was heading out the door, he burst into tears and called out" Ama, Ama, Ama" (his version of Ima, or Mommy). I felt a real physical pain in my heart. I bent down to the ground at eye level, gave him a hug and a kiss and said" I'm sorry you seem so sad that Ama brought you to gan...I'm sorry you seem like you would like to go back home...Ama loves you very much and will be back to take you home in a few hours. Now it's time to play with your friends and to have a great time". And with that, I stood up, opened the door and walked out, leaving my sweet and darling little boy sobbing his eyes out"Ama, Ama, Ama". I stood outside that door for what seemed like hours, until his cries subsided and then my little girl and I headed home. When we returned to pick him up, he had a huge smile on his face. A smile that said :"Ama, I had lots of fun today, but I'm so happy to see you and that you're taking me home with you".


As Imas, we hate hearing our little ones cry. We wish we could take away every hard feeling they ever have. We want them to be happy and smiling all the time. But that's not real life. Real life is filled with disappointments, both big and small. There are times when our kids will feel sad, scared, hurt, angry, embarrassed, betrayed and many other feelings that are hard to swallow. As much as it pains us to hear our kids expressing these difficult feelings, every single one of them is human. Every single one of them is OK. I want my kids to always feel safe in sharing their feelings with me, no matter what those feelings are. One of my many roles as their Ima, as I see it, is to give them the emotional space to feel whatever they need to feel in that moment. And to be present with them in whichever way they need me to be. That could mean me giving them a hug. It could mean me just sitting quietly next to them as they pour out their hearts to me. Or it could mean me helping them reach their own conclusions/solutions by just hearing them out. The most important thing is to remain a consistent pillar of strength for my kids. This will allow them to feel like they can fall apart if they need to and Ima will remain their rock.

With Love,

Cigal