We had planned it for a couple of weeks. The Hubster, my mother and I were heading to Jerusalem on an important mission. The babysitter had shown up and we were all set to go when I read this headline :
http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/204892#.Vm7Dp7-4rLs
Over the last couple of months of stabbings, shootings and car rammings, I feel, along with the rest of my people here, in the land that we love so dearly, that breathing can sometimes feel elusive. That sometimes the agony and the pain runs so deep, that it can be literally near impossible to catch our breath.
This afternoon, an Arab driver plowed into commuters standing at a bus stop next to iconic Chords Bridge, including a baby in serious condition.This was the exact location that we would be disembarking the bus and going to catch the next bus to bring us directly to our destination.
My first thought was, maybe we shouldn't go. But then the terrorists win.
My next thought, both Hubster and I are going together...Maybe one of us should stay behind. What if there's an attack and we both get hurt (or worse)? What will become of our children?
The following thought occurred while already on the bus and it was the one I chose to focus on:
A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures:
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul:
He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death,
I will fear no evil: for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies:
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
We took the bus. We passed the scene of the attack. I continued to breathe slowly and steadily and with Hubster's gentle prodding, I reminded myself that the main thing is not to fear at all.
With Love,
Cigal
Monday, December 14, 2015
Friday, November 27, 2015
The Nation of Light
"Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy; Though I am fallen, I shall arise; Though I sit in darkness, the LORD is a light unto me."(Micah 7:8)
This prophecy continues to ring more and more true on a daily basis in Israel, especially during the recent horrific wave of terror. Throughout our long history we have been murdered, beaten and exiled but we grieve and then we dust ourselves off, get up and rebuild to make this world a better place.Where there is darkness, the Jewish Nation brings light, for without the darkness, there can be no light.
Last night, I had the honour to attend the most awe-inspiring and moving wedding that I have ever been to. That of Sarah Tchiya Litman and Ariel Beigel, a beautiful young couple who was meant to get married 2 weeks ago, until Sarah's father, Rabbi Yaakov Litman Z"L (may his memory be blessed) and her 18 year old brother Netanel Z"L(may his memory be blessed), were murdered by Arab terrorists on their way to celebrate with Ariel, their future son and brother-in-law. They were on their way to his Shabbat Chattan (the Sabbath before a young man gets married). Sarah Techiya, her mother and their family sat shiva and the young couple decided not to delay the wedding, but rather to make it happen the week she got up from Shiva. The young couple made an announcement to the entire Nation of Israel via social media and invited all of us to join them on their beautiful day. I'm pretty sure I'm not exaggerating when I say there were at least 10 000 people there. Jews of every stripe and color, from all over Israel and all over the world went to great lengths to be able to be there, celebrating this holy union with the young couple. People from Cincinnati, Montreal and communities all over Israel took buses, trains and airplanes in order to do the tremendous mitzvah of "L'Sameach Chattan V'Kallah" (bringing joy to a bride and groom).
There were thousands of people outside the hall, singing and dancing, trying to make their way in to dance with the bride and groom...It was like there were dozens of weddings happening all around the grounds of The Conference Center simultaneosly. Hubby and I didn't manage to get into the hall , as we had a bus to catch and the line going in was enormous, but it didn't even matter. Apparently, at one point during the evening, the manager of the hall just got on the mic and tearfully announced that the hall was way beyond capacity, asking everyone who already danced to leave so that the thousands waiting outside could come in.
Meanwhile, outside, people were singing, dancing and playing musical instruments. The love and the achdut(unity) in the crowd were palpable. At one point, with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I looked up to the heavens and thought to myself"Ribono Shel Olam (Master of the Universe)...Look at us!!! Look at how much we love each other!!! Look at how much we love YOU!!! Let us be this way for eternity!!! I don't want this feeling to ever end!".
And this is the Nation of Israel.Our enemies want to destroy us... To send us into the sea. But they don't realize yet, that the more they try destroying us, the more empowered, strong and united we become. Despite the unthinkable tragedies that we've endured throughout the ages, and despite our enemies who try to extinguish the light that lies within us, we are a Nation made of Light and we will live on forever!!!!
May the beautiful new couple, Sarah Techiya and Ariel Beigel continue to shine their strength, resilience, light and deep love onto their Nation.
Am Yisrael Chai!!!
With Love,
Cigal
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Listen up, Outside World!
She's tall, slim and beautiful. Her thick, healthy-looking and gorgeous head of curls bounce as she walks down the street, causing people to turn heads as she smiles at them with her perfect pearly whites. She is the envy of every woman who looks at her and the object of desire of every man whom she shares eye contact with.
He's handsome, slender and muscular. The cool kid. All the guys want to hang out with him and all the girls go all googly eyed when he smiles his charming and beautiful smile at them.
But it's all external. Inside, that tall and beautiful girl hides mountains of junk food in her closet, ravages all of it and then sticks her finger down her throat to purge her body. When she looks at herself in the mirror, she sees a big, fat and scary looking monster...Not the beauty that everyone else sees. She cries herself to sleep at night and wonders how much longer she'll need to endure and when the pain will finally end. From close up, she has a gorgeous smile, but if you look deeper, you see the sadness etched deeply into her eyes and the lines surrounding them.
He is in agony most of the time. He gets these horrible cramps in his abdomen and a sense of urgency to run to the washroom to either throw up or to have a bowel movement(or both). He can't keep down any solids or liquids. There is no time to waste. If he doesn't get to the washroom ASAP, he'll embarrass himself with an accident, wherever he may be (at the mall, in class, at a party). At times, he may run and use the handicapped washroom stall because all the other stalls are taken and he simply can't wait. And then come the dirty looks and accusatory comments from the other people waiting in line. "You're not handicapped. Why would you use a handicapped stall?". The truth is, HE IS handicapped. He simply CANNOT wait. He has Crohn's Disease.
When I was 23 years old, I got diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, an incredibly painful and debilitating inflammatory bowel disease that can be very deceiving to the outside world.
To the outside world, I looked great. I was still my outgoing and friendly self, super creative, adventurous, kind and empathetic. But on the inside, I was falling to pieces. I literally felt like someone was stabbing away at my intestines slowly and sadistically. My world was crashing and I was all alone to try and keep it from shattering...No amount of care and concern from people around could take the agony away. Even the doctors couldn't "get it". I had lost a lot of weight, was wearing super fashionable and form fitting clothing and was trying to maintain as much of the"normal me" as I could, whenever I could. But there were times when I just couldn't. Times when I was keeled over in the fetus position, crying in agony, praying for the unbearable pain to stop. I thank G-d every day of my life for the two angel doctors who figured out the best way to heal me. Thank G-d,I haven't had an episode since before I had kids.
So listen up, Outside World: You need a heck of a lot more awareness and empathy!!! There are millions of people who suffer silently every single day of their lives. Whether they have a mental illness like Depression, Anxiety or Bipolar Disorder, or they have a chronic and debilitating disease like Crohn's/Colitis/Fibromyalgia, DO NOT JUDGE a person by their outer appearance. They may look fine to you. They may even look great. Meanwhile, they may be struggling around the clock to keep their stuff together. If you see a seemingly fine person using a handicapped washroom stall, keep your mouth shut. If someone reacts to something you say or do in a way that seems exaggerated to you, BE KIND, NOT JUDGMENTAL. Offer support, not criticism. Be gentle, not gruff or rude. You never know what other people may be struggling with.
With Love,
Cigal
He's handsome, slender and muscular. The cool kid. All the guys want to hang out with him and all the girls go all googly eyed when he smiles his charming and beautiful smile at them.
But it's all external. Inside, that tall and beautiful girl hides mountains of junk food in her closet, ravages all of it and then sticks her finger down her throat to purge her body. When she looks at herself in the mirror, she sees a big, fat and scary looking monster...Not the beauty that everyone else sees. She cries herself to sleep at night and wonders how much longer she'll need to endure and when the pain will finally end. From close up, she has a gorgeous smile, but if you look deeper, you see the sadness etched deeply into her eyes and the lines surrounding them.
He is in agony most of the time. He gets these horrible cramps in his abdomen and a sense of urgency to run to the washroom to either throw up or to have a bowel movement(or both). He can't keep down any solids or liquids. There is no time to waste. If he doesn't get to the washroom ASAP, he'll embarrass himself with an accident, wherever he may be (at the mall, in class, at a party). At times, he may run and use the handicapped washroom stall because all the other stalls are taken and he simply can't wait. And then come the dirty looks and accusatory comments from the other people waiting in line. "You're not handicapped. Why would you use a handicapped stall?". The truth is, HE IS handicapped. He simply CANNOT wait. He has Crohn's Disease.
When I was 23 years old, I got diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, an incredibly painful and debilitating inflammatory bowel disease that can be very deceiving to the outside world.
To the outside world, I looked great. I was still my outgoing and friendly self, super creative, adventurous, kind and empathetic. But on the inside, I was falling to pieces. I literally felt like someone was stabbing away at my intestines slowly and sadistically. My world was crashing and I was all alone to try and keep it from shattering...No amount of care and concern from people around could take the agony away. Even the doctors couldn't "get it". I had lost a lot of weight, was wearing super fashionable and form fitting clothing and was trying to maintain as much of the"normal me" as I could, whenever I could. But there were times when I just couldn't. Times when I was keeled over in the fetus position, crying in agony, praying for the unbearable pain to stop. I thank G-d every day of my life for the two angel doctors who figured out the best way to heal me. Thank G-d,I haven't had an episode since before I had kids.
So listen up, Outside World: You need a heck of a lot more awareness and empathy!!! There are millions of people who suffer silently every single day of their lives. Whether they have a mental illness like Depression, Anxiety or Bipolar Disorder, or they have a chronic and debilitating disease like Crohn's/Colitis/Fibromyalgia, DO NOT JUDGE a person by their outer appearance. They may look fine to you. They may even look great. Meanwhile, they may be struggling around the clock to keep their stuff together. If you see a seemingly fine person using a handicapped washroom stall, keep your mouth shut. If someone reacts to something you say or do in a way that seems exaggerated to you, BE KIND, NOT JUDGMENTAL. Offer support, not criticism. Be gentle, not gruff or rude. You never know what other people may be struggling with.
With Love,
Cigal
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Stand Up
When I was in high school, I was bullied relentlessly by a group of popular boys and girls who got their jollies by seeing me and other nice kids like me wince in pain as the insults and put downs were released from their unforgiving mouths. I was a hard working, successful (for the most part) student. A nice girl who tried hard to fit in but somehow couldn't.
They made fun of my name, one that wasn't so popular in Canada. They made fun of my weight (I was slightly overweight) and tried to make me feel like I was the most disgusting, despicable and unwanted person on the planet.
Thank G-d for a few angelic friends who never joined in the barrage of taunts and insults. Thank G-d for those who saw me for who I was and loved me anyways.
The teachers didn't notice my pain. And if they did, they turned a blind eye. I felt like there were no grownups in my life to share with...But yet, I survived.
Fast forward to my adult years, I worked as a teacher and as a school counselor for many years and have never allowed any type of bullying to rear its ugly head into my classrooms. I have always had strong messages for the bullies, the bullied and the bystanders.
To my tormentors during high school, I feel sorry for you. You must have been going through some terrible things yourselves, that made you feel the need to try destroying my soul and the souls of other sweet, kind and sensitive kids who caused you no harm.
To my angel friends, who stood by me, held my hand, dried my tears and gave me strength to return to school the next day, you know who you are. Thank you. You helped me stay above water and allowed me to build a strong armor around myself that would not allow me to crack.
To those of you who stood by and watched as they tortured me, picked on me and tried to destroy me, SHAME ON YOU. In Judaism, there is a very powerful concept of "Lo Ta'amod al Dam Re'echa...Do not stand idly by as your brother's blood is being spilled". I pray that you have all developed a thicker skin and that you now stand up to injustice when you see it.
To all of you, my dear readers, do NOT be bystanders. Especially nowadays, with the evolution of bullying. Now we hear stories on the news of kids who committed suicide because of cyber bullying through email, Facebook or Twitter. Stay alert. Stay aware of who your child is friends with (or not). Keep lines of communication safe and open. Parents, TALK TO YOUR KIDS DAILY. Street proof them. Give them a broad feelings vocabulary and make them know you have their backs. Teach them that they are strong, beautiful and worthy and don't deserve to be treated like garbage. You have the ability and the tools to teach your kids resilience. START NOW.
With Love,
Cigal
http://trending.world/this-girl-is-being-bullied-at-the-bus-stop-watch-what-the-adults-do-who-witness-it.html
They made fun of my name, one that wasn't so popular in Canada. They made fun of my weight (I was slightly overweight) and tried to make me feel like I was the most disgusting, despicable and unwanted person on the planet.
Thank G-d for a few angelic friends who never joined in the barrage of taunts and insults. Thank G-d for those who saw me for who I was and loved me anyways.
The teachers didn't notice my pain. And if they did, they turned a blind eye. I felt like there were no grownups in my life to share with...But yet, I survived.
Fast forward to my adult years, I worked as a teacher and as a school counselor for many years and have never allowed any type of bullying to rear its ugly head into my classrooms. I have always had strong messages for the bullies, the bullied and the bystanders.
To my tormentors during high school, I feel sorry for you. You must have been going through some terrible things yourselves, that made you feel the need to try destroying my soul and the souls of other sweet, kind and sensitive kids who caused you no harm.
To my angel friends, who stood by me, held my hand, dried my tears and gave me strength to return to school the next day, you know who you are. Thank you. You helped me stay above water and allowed me to build a strong armor around myself that would not allow me to crack.
To those of you who stood by and watched as they tortured me, picked on me and tried to destroy me, SHAME ON YOU. In Judaism, there is a very powerful concept of "Lo Ta'amod al Dam Re'echa...Do not stand idly by as your brother's blood is being spilled". I pray that you have all developed a thicker skin and that you now stand up to injustice when you see it.
To all of you, my dear readers, do NOT be bystanders. Especially nowadays, with the evolution of bullying. Now we hear stories on the news of kids who committed suicide because of cyber bullying through email, Facebook or Twitter. Stay alert. Stay aware of who your child is friends with (or not). Keep lines of communication safe and open. Parents, TALK TO YOUR KIDS DAILY. Street proof them. Give them a broad feelings vocabulary and make them know you have their backs. Teach them that they are strong, beautiful and worthy and don't deserve to be treated like garbage. You have the ability and the tools to teach your kids resilience. START NOW.
With Love,
Cigal
http://trending.world/this-girl-is-being-bullied-at-the-bus-stop-watch-what-the-adults-do-who-witness-it.html
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Small Sparks of Love
This morning, after dropping my oldest off at his kindergarten, I decided to stop at a salad bar on the way home and treat myself to a fresh and healthy salad for breakfast instead of a tub of Ben & Jerry's. On my way out of the salad bar, I saw a very young looking Hatzala Medic sitting on his scooter, talking on his cellphone, probably to his wife, as I heard him say "I love you very much" before hanging up.
As I looked at him, I got a sudden rush of images of what his life must be like. A young wife at home. Maybe she's expecting their first child or maybe they already have a couple of young children. Maybe he's trained as a carpenter, a plumber, a lawyer or a doctor. Maybe he has a private practice as a therapist or he runs a catering business. The one thing that I know for sure, is that he has his beeper on him at all times, whether it be a Sunday morning, a Tuesday late at night, a Shabbat morning or an Erev Chag (the eve of a holiday). He is on call 24/7, ready to respond to any kind of trauma, whether it be a nasty car accident, a suicide bombing, a stabbing or a shooting.
I returned back to reality and was suddenly filled with a tremendous sense of awe and gratitude to this young man who is literally at the center of all the bloodshed our tiny beautiful country is facing right now. The tremendous mesirut nefesh (dedication) and love that this man and so many other Hatzala volunteers and their families show for their people is beyond incredible...
"I must get him something small to show my appreciation", I thought to myself, praying that he wouldn't drive off before I could. I ran into the closest bakery and bought him an ice coffee. As I ran out the door, he had already backed up on his scooter and was about to drive off.
"Excuse me!" I called out.
"Yes?" he answered
"I saw you sitting here and I just had to show you my deep appreciation for the incredible work that you're doing for our Nation."
"What work do I do?" he asks humbly.
"Your tremendous work with Hatzala". He smiled.
"I am so in awe of all of you incredible Hatzala guys, your wives, your families.So here's my small token of appreciation for you. This ice coffee is for you"
"Wow! Thank you so much!", he responded.
I walked away from that exchange feeling like a million bucks and I'm sure he was touched by the gesture.
Showing Hakarat HaTov( being grateful), especially during dark times like these for our people, can add small sparks of love and hope into the deep darkness that seems to be surrounding us right now.
To my beautiful Nation, Am Yisrael, express as much Hakarat HaTov to as many people as you can, as often as you can. It'll make you feel warm and fuzzy inside and you will touch the heart of the person on the receiving end.
Am Yisrael Chai!
With Love,
Cigal
***Note: The stress, fear and anxiety of the last few weeks have caused many people, present company included, to resort to stress eating, hence the comment about a tub of Ben & Jerry's.
As I looked at him, I got a sudden rush of images of what his life must be like. A young wife at home. Maybe she's expecting their first child or maybe they already have a couple of young children. Maybe he's trained as a carpenter, a plumber, a lawyer or a doctor. Maybe he has a private practice as a therapist or he runs a catering business. The one thing that I know for sure, is that he has his beeper on him at all times, whether it be a Sunday morning, a Tuesday late at night, a Shabbat morning or an Erev Chag (the eve of a holiday). He is on call 24/7, ready to respond to any kind of trauma, whether it be a nasty car accident, a suicide bombing, a stabbing or a shooting.
I returned back to reality and was suddenly filled with a tremendous sense of awe and gratitude to this young man who is literally at the center of all the bloodshed our tiny beautiful country is facing right now. The tremendous mesirut nefesh (dedication) and love that this man and so many other Hatzala volunteers and their families show for their people is beyond incredible...
"I must get him something small to show my appreciation", I thought to myself, praying that he wouldn't drive off before I could. I ran into the closest bakery and bought him an ice coffee. As I ran out the door, he had already backed up on his scooter and was about to drive off.
"Excuse me!" I called out.
"Yes?" he answered
"I saw you sitting here and I just had to show you my deep appreciation for the incredible work that you're doing for our Nation."
"What work do I do?" he asks humbly.
"Your tremendous work with Hatzala". He smiled.
"I am so in awe of all of you incredible Hatzala guys, your wives, your families.So here's my small token of appreciation for you. This ice coffee is for you"
"Wow! Thank you so much!", he responded.
I walked away from that exchange feeling like a million bucks and I'm sure he was touched by the gesture.
Showing Hakarat HaTov( being grateful), especially during dark times like these for our people, can add small sparks of love and hope into the deep darkness that seems to be surrounding us right now.
To my beautiful Nation, Am Yisrael, express as much Hakarat HaTov to as many people as you can, as often as you can. It'll make you feel warm and fuzzy inside and you will touch the heart of the person on the receiving end.
Am Yisrael Chai!
With Love,
Cigal
***Note: The stress, fear and anxiety of the last few weeks have caused many people, present company included, to resort to stress eating, hence the comment about a tub of Ben & Jerry's.
Monday, June 29, 2015
A Good Look in the Mirror
He dons peyot(side locks) and a black hat. You see him running into a synagogue to get to prayers on time. As he exits, you see him run over to a man with his hand outstretched and place some coins in his shaking and dirty hand, while offering the needy Jew words of encouragement and strength. The man in the black hat has lips constantly moving in prayer. He learns Torah every day and does mitzvot (good deeds), except that all that changes when he walks through the door of his house and closes it at the end of the day. There, his entire demeanor changes. He becomes an angry tyrant, yelling, towering, threatening and shoving whomever gets in his way...
Her mitpachat (head covering) covers every last strand of hair on her head. Her arms are fully covered and her long skirt and dark tights ensure that her legs are fully covered as well. She's a principal at an all girls school, training young girls to value the importance of modesty and leading by perfect example. A woman in jeans and a tshirt walks by the principal at a bus stop and feels those judging eyes moving across her body...She feels the stares of disapproval and the looks of disgust....
Today after dropping my oldest son off at his preschool, I went to the center of town to grab a quick coffee to take home with me. Standing in front of me in line was a young woman with a mohawk haircut, multiple piercings in her ear and her nose and tight black pants with a short sleeved black shirt. She was being served by the young woman behind the counter, who was preparing a healthy and delicious looking sandwich for her. When the sandwich was ready, she paid, went to put the sandwich down and went to do Netilat Yadayim (ritual washing of the hands before eating bread). As she went to sit at her place, out of the corner of my eye, I watched a very beautiful moment when this young woman, filled with tremendous kavana (intent) and closed eyes, said the blessing before eating bread.
As I stood there inspired and blown away by her sincere intent, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I would have never expected this from her and suddenly I felt very ugly. And very ashamed of myself. Who the heck am I to judge this beautiful young woman who is serving our Creator? The way she was dressed automatically made me judge her.It automatically made me assume that she doesn't recognize where that beautiful healthy sandwich really came from. But I was wrong. Dead wrong.
We all do it and we all must stop. The uniform is just that. A uniform. A person's truth lies within their soul and their heart not in their dress code. The kippa or lack thereof says nothing about the person's soul. The mitpachat, sheitel or mohawk are just external layers that mean so very little. We must all take a good look in the mirror and ask ourselves how we want people to judge us, and then we must act in kind.
With Love,
Cigal
Her mitpachat (head covering) covers every last strand of hair on her head. Her arms are fully covered and her long skirt and dark tights ensure that her legs are fully covered as well. She's a principal at an all girls school, training young girls to value the importance of modesty and leading by perfect example. A woman in jeans and a tshirt walks by the principal at a bus stop and feels those judging eyes moving across her body...She feels the stares of disapproval and the looks of disgust....
Today after dropping my oldest son off at his preschool, I went to the center of town to grab a quick coffee to take home with me. Standing in front of me in line was a young woman with a mohawk haircut, multiple piercings in her ear and her nose and tight black pants with a short sleeved black shirt. She was being served by the young woman behind the counter, who was preparing a healthy and delicious looking sandwich for her. When the sandwich was ready, she paid, went to put the sandwich down and went to do Netilat Yadayim (ritual washing of the hands before eating bread). As she went to sit at her place, out of the corner of my eye, I watched a very beautiful moment when this young woman, filled with tremendous kavana (intent) and closed eyes, said the blessing before eating bread.
As I stood there inspired and blown away by her sincere intent, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I would have never expected this from her and suddenly I felt very ugly. And very ashamed of myself. Who the heck am I to judge this beautiful young woman who is serving our Creator? The way she was dressed automatically made me judge her.It automatically made me assume that she doesn't recognize where that beautiful healthy sandwich really came from. But I was wrong. Dead wrong.
We all do it and we all must stop. The uniform is just that. A uniform. A person's truth lies within their soul and their heart not in their dress code. The kippa or lack thereof says nothing about the person's soul. The mitpachat, sheitel or mohawk are just external layers that mean so very little. We must all take a good look in the mirror and ask ourselves how we want people to judge us, and then we must act in kind.
With Love,
Cigal
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
United By Love
On June 12th, 2014, Israeli teens Naftali Fraenkel, Gilad Shaer and Eyal Yifrah were kidnapped
by Hamas terrorists. For 18 days, before we knew with certainty of their tragic fate, the pure love and unity that poured out from our Nation was both immeasurable and indescribable.All of our differences were left aside and nothing but our deep connection to one another mattered. For eighteen days, our Nation showed the pure love of brothers and sisters On June 30th, the bodies were found. Today, on the Jewish calendar, marks a year since that dreadful day.
And at the request of the Three Mothers, and their families, today is Unity Day, in memory of the three beautiful boys who inspired an unprecedented outpouring of love, acts of random kindness, prayer and connection within the entire Jewish Nation both in Israel and abroad.
According to Rabbi Shais Taub, an American Hassidic rabbi and author that is also known for his work in the field of addiction recovery and is a weekly columnist for Ami magazine, "The Jewish Woman is called the Akeret Bayit, the foundation of the home...And since the whole Jewish people is made up of many homes, the Jewish woman is really the foundation of the Jewish people as a whole" (Rabbi Shais Taub). This morning was proof of this.
This morning, I had the honor and the pleasure to unite with hundreds of my beautiful sisters, from young children to grandmothers, from National Religious, to Traditional and Charedi (Ultra Orthodox), in my town of Ramat Beit Shemesh. We first formed a human chain, hand in hand, on one of our circular streets(which happens to be the street I live on). We stood there singing, dancing, praying and then we all moved on to an incredibly moving, uplifting and inspiring gathering in a park down the road, where we heard inspiring words from Rabbis, from Naftali's sister and father, and from young women who knew the boys and their families.
As I stood there, both as a participant and as an observer, I was in awe of the strength and the beauty that defines my beautiful Nation. We carry so much national pain with us, and yet, we stand tall and proud as we raise our eyes and hearts to the heavens beseeching our Heavenly Father to hear our prayers to end the pain. And all the while, we never give up hope that that day will surely come and that all of our pain and suffering will come to an end, and we'll know nothing but joy.
To Eyal, Naftali and Gilad, I have no doubt that you were watching us and feeling tremendous pride in your strong and beautiful birth mothers who came up with the gorgeous idea of Unity Day and that you were smiling at the rest of your mothers and sisters who took their request to heart and followed suite with open hearts and tremendous love.
May the memories of Gilad, Eyal and Naftali be blessed and may our Heavenly Father continue to bless their families with love, support and strength wherever they turn.
Yehi Zichram Baruch.
With Love,
Cigal
And at the request of the Three Mothers, and their families, today is Unity Day, in memory of the three beautiful boys who inspired an unprecedented outpouring of love, acts of random kindness, prayer and connection within the entire Jewish Nation both in Israel and abroad.
According to Rabbi Shais Taub, an American Hassidic rabbi and author that is also known for his work in the field of addiction recovery and is a weekly columnist for Ami magazine, "The Jewish Woman is called the Akeret Bayit, the foundation of the home...And since the whole Jewish people is made up of many homes, the Jewish woman is really the foundation of the Jewish people as a whole" (Rabbi Shais Taub). This morning was proof of this.
This morning, I had the honor and the pleasure to unite with hundreds of my beautiful sisters, from young children to grandmothers, from National Religious, to Traditional and Charedi (Ultra Orthodox), in my town of Ramat Beit Shemesh. We first formed a human chain, hand in hand, on one of our circular streets(which happens to be the street I live on). We stood there singing, dancing, praying and then we all moved on to an incredibly moving, uplifting and inspiring gathering in a park down the road, where we heard inspiring words from Rabbis, from Naftali's sister and father, and from young women who knew the boys and their families.
As I stood there, both as a participant and as an observer, I was in awe of the strength and the beauty that defines my beautiful Nation. We carry so much national pain with us, and yet, we stand tall and proud as we raise our eyes and hearts to the heavens beseeching our Heavenly Father to hear our prayers to end the pain. And all the while, we never give up hope that that day will surely come and that all of our pain and suffering will come to an end, and we'll know nothing but joy.
To Eyal, Naftali and Gilad, I have no doubt that you were watching us and feeling tremendous pride in your strong and beautiful birth mothers who came up with the gorgeous idea of Unity Day and that you were smiling at the rest of your mothers and sisters who took their request to heart and followed suite with open hearts and tremendous love.
May the memories of Gilad, Eyal and Naftali be blessed and may our Heavenly Father continue to bless their families with love, support and strength wherever they turn.
Yehi Zichram Baruch.
With Love,
Cigal
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
From Afar
I grew up in Montreal, Canada. I went to Jewish day schools and was taught about the importance of my Jewish identity from a very young age. On Yom HaZikaron (Memorial Day for the Fallen Soldiers of Israel), we always had a commemoration ceremony and I cried. On Yom Ha'Atzma'ut, we hit the streets with flags, singing, dancing and falafel for lunch....And I felt tremendous joy...Israel always had a very deep and special place in my heart.
But that was it. Grieving from afar...Celebrating from afar...Everything from afar, in my comfortable and carefree life back in Canada.
Meanwhile, as I was going out with my friends without a care in the world, you, my Israeli brothers and sisters were getting drafted into the army...You were kids just like me, 18 years old...Lacing up your combat boots while I planned my next Mexican getaway...
You were forced into a painful and frightening reality that I knew nothing about...You were on a mission to protect your Nation....Your mothers and your fathers stayed awake nights on end, hoping and praying that you would return home safely. Your younger brothers and sisters may have been too young to really understand, but they saw the fear and the pain in your parents' eyes.
My blood is not thicker, better or redder than yours. It never was. Why was it okay for me to lead a blessedly ignorant young adult life, while you were on the front lines, heroically fighting to protect our people? Why was it okay that at 18 you wondered if you would return home alive to your family while I wondered how I was going to pass my final exams?
To all of you, my dear brothers and sisters who lost your precious young lives in order to protect our citizens, I am here now, not just in heart, but in body and soul as well. I am in the ring with you. Your losses are my losses. Your tragedies are my tragedies. Your victories are my victories.
Tonight and tomorrow on Yom HaZikaron, I will cry for all 23,320 of you who lost your lives and I will cry for the additional 67 of you that joined this unfathomable number over the summer in Operation Tzuk Eitan. I will stand in silence tonight and tomorrow and feel the heartache that our entire nation will be feeling and then tomorrow night, I will celebrate the wonder and the amazement of our beautiful little country that is turning 67 years old. The giant heart that is our Nation will continue to beat, in sadness and in joy.
With Love,
Cigal
But that was it. Grieving from afar...Celebrating from afar...Everything from afar, in my comfortable and carefree life back in Canada.
Meanwhile, as I was going out with my friends without a care in the world, you, my Israeli brothers and sisters were getting drafted into the army...You were kids just like me, 18 years old...Lacing up your combat boots while I planned my next Mexican getaway...
You were forced into a painful and frightening reality that I knew nothing about...You were on a mission to protect your Nation....Your mothers and your fathers stayed awake nights on end, hoping and praying that you would return home safely. Your younger brothers and sisters may have been too young to really understand, but they saw the fear and the pain in your parents' eyes.
My blood is not thicker, better or redder than yours. It never was. Why was it okay for me to lead a blessedly ignorant young adult life, while you were on the front lines, heroically fighting to protect our people? Why was it okay that at 18 you wondered if you would return home alive to your family while I wondered how I was going to pass my final exams?
To all of you, my dear brothers and sisters who lost your precious young lives in order to protect our citizens, I am here now, not just in heart, but in body and soul as well. I am in the ring with you. Your losses are my losses. Your tragedies are my tragedies. Your victories are my victories.
Tonight and tomorrow on Yom HaZikaron, I will cry for all 23,320 of you who lost your lives and I will cry for the additional 67 of you that joined this unfathomable number over the summer in Operation Tzuk Eitan. I will stand in silence tonight and tomorrow and feel the heartache that our entire nation will be feeling and then tomorrow night, I will celebrate the wonder and the amazement of our beautiful little country that is turning 67 years old. The giant heart that is our Nation will continue to beat, in sadness and in joy.
With Love,
Cigal
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Around my Shabbes Table
It's mid April in Israel...But today it feels like mid December. The bitter cold, the thunder, lighting and pouring rain throughout the night. The howling winds into the early hours of the morning....I imagine the vicitms and they're crying, along with G-d...They'e crying bitter angry tears about the unspeakable and unfathomable loss that all of us have had to endure...Broken families, dead children, burning corpses, human ashes...
And later in the morning, the sun shows up, because that is who we are as a nation...After the darkness, the light always returns. But we can't see that beautiful light when we are blinded by darkness...So we seek the light, and then we find it.
I do my regular Thursday Shabbat shop before the 10 am siren, hoping to be outdoors when it sounds off. As I walk home with my shopping bags, I picture my 4 year old uncle and my grandparents in their early 40's. They too, were crying bitter tears last night in the middle of the night and earlier this morning. They were sobbing for their son and their brother(my father) and for their daughters and sisters (my aunts). They were sobbing for their nieces, nephews, grandchildren, great grandchildren and their great great grandchildren whom they never got to hug, kiss or caress.
They missed out on Britot, Bat Mitzvahs, Bar Mitzvahs and weddings. Oh ,how I wish they could have been at my wedding and at the births of my children..I imagine what it would be like to sit around my Shabbes table with them singing beautiful Shabbes songs and harmonizing in perfect sync. I imagine baking challah with my beautiful grandmother and learning from her how to put the perfect touch to my cholent. I imagine my grandfather and my uncle taking my boys to shul and feeling so much pride as they watch them pray from the heart. I imagine listening to my grandparents share stories from their childhoods and I imagine myself soaking it all in, while thirsting for more...But these are just dreams that live deep within my imagination...
While standing still for the siren in the cold and windy morning, I feel their warm and loving embrace around me and I know they are with me. And I am with them. And that's how it will always be, for I carry their torch and that torch will continue to live within me, my children, their children and all generations to follow, Please G-d.
With Love,
Cigal
And later in the morning, the sun shows up, because that is who we are as a nation...After the darkness, the light always returns. But we can't see that beautiful light when we are blinded by darkness...So we seek the light, and then we find it.
I do my regular Thursday Shabbat shop before the 10 am siren, hoping to be outdoors when it sounds off. As I walk home with my shopping bags, I picture my 4 year old uncle and my grandparents in their early 40's. They too, were crying bitter tears last night in the middle of the night and earlier this morning. They were sobbing for their son and their brother(my father) and for their daughters and sisters (my aunts). They were sobbing for their nieces, nephews, grandchildren, great grandchildren and their great great grandchildren whom they never got to hug, kiss or caress.
They missed out on Britot, Bat Mitzvahs, Bar Mitzvahs and weddings. Oh ,how I wish they could have been at my wedding and at the births of my children..I imagine what it would be like to sit around my Shabbes table with them singing beautiful Shabbes songs and harmonizing in perfect sync. I imagine baking challah with my beautiful grandmother and learning from her how to put the perfect touch to my cholent. I imagine my grandfather and my uncle taking my boys to shul and feeling so much pride as they watch them pray from the heart. I imagine listening to my grandparents share stories from their childhoods and I imagine myself soaking it all in, while thirsting for more...But these are just dreams that live deep within my imagination...
While standing still for the siren in the cold and windy morning, I feel their warm and loving embrace around me and I know they are with me. And I am with them. And that's how it will always be, for I carry their torch and that torch will continue to live within me, my children, their children and all generations to follow, Please G-d.
With Love,
Cigal
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
It's All About The Children
My four year old daughter is due to have her birthday party in her preschool. Yesterday when I picked her up, one of her teachers and I were talking about making it tomorrow.
Early this morning, after dropping all the kids off at their respective preschools, I phoned my daughter's Gan (preschool) to discuss what I needed to bring to the party. She then said "Wait a minute! We can't tomorrow...Tomorrow is Holocaust Memorial Day...It would be inappropriate. Let's do it on Sunday instead". I agreed and hung up.
Hubby and I were out having a leisurely breakfast at the time. As I hung up, I looked at him and said" I know I just agreed that it would be inappropriate to have a preschool birthday party on Yom HaShoah, but I actually think in some ways, there couldn't be a better and more appropriate day for such a celebration".
When Hitler and his cronies came up with the Final Solution, their ultimate goal was to completely destroy, decimate and annihilate the Jewish people. Their mission was to wipe out babies, children, mothers, fathers and grandparents.
World War 2 began in 1939...In 1941, our people were being led by the hundreds and the thousands to the slaughterhouses, like sheep in cattle cars. Now, sixty six years later, the Jewish people are thriving. We have our own country and our own army. Every day and every hour, new babies join our nation. New couples are formed to build their homes among the Jewish people.
Hitler's grand mission failed. The Jewish people are here to stay. We are a strong, resilient and ever-growing Nation. The sound of Jewish children's laughter fill our homes, our streets, our parks and our classrooms . In my community alone, my heart swells with joy and pride each time I see a beautiful pregnant belly on every street corner or when I go on a bus that's stuffed to the gills with single and double strollers.
The Jewish Revenge is all about the children. The strong, beautiful children who, G-d willing, one day, will build their own Jewish homes and fill them with the joyful laughter of their own children and the chain will continue.
Although my heart aches for the 6 million who perished, among them members of my own family, I gain comfort from knowing that I have contributed to the Jewish Revenge and that this revenge will continue with my children and their children, and their children's children, G-d willing.
May the memories of the victims of the Holocaust be blessed.
יהי זכרם ברוך
With Love,
Cigal
Early this morning, after dropping all the kids off at their respective preschools, I phoned my daughter's Gan (preschool) to discuss what I needed to bring to the party. She then said "Wait a minute! We can't tomorrow...Tomorrow is Holocaust Memorial Day...It would be inappropriate. Let's do it on Sunday instead". I agreed and hung up.
Hubby and I were out having a leisurely breakfast at the time. As I hung up, I looked at him and said" I know I just agreed that it would be inappropriate to have a preschool birthday party on Yom HaShoah, but I actually think in some ways, there couldn't be a better and more appropriate day for such a celebration".
When Hitler and his cronies came up with the Final Solution, their ultimate goal was to completely destroy, decimate and annihilate the Jewish people. Their mission was to wipe out babies, children, mothers, fathers and grandparents.
World War 2 began in 1939...In 1941, our people were being led by the hundreds and the thousands to the slaughterhouses, like sheep in cattle cars. Now, sixty six years later, the Jewish people are thriving. We have our own country and our own army. Every day and every hour, new babies join our nation. New couples are formed to build their homes among the Jewish people.
Hitler's grand mission failed. The Jewish people are here to stay. We are a strong, resilient and ever-growing Nation. The sound of Jewish children's laughter fill our homes, our streets, our parks and our classrooms . In my community alone, my heart swells with joy and pride each time I see a beautiful pregnant belly on every street corner or when I go on a bus that's stuffed to the gills with single and double strollers.
The Jewish Revenge is all about the children. The strong, beautiful children who, G-d willing, one day, will build their own Jewish homes and fill them with the joyful laughter of their own children and the chain will continue.
Although my heart aches for the 6 million who perished, among them members of my own family, I gain comfort from knowing that I have contributed to the Jewish Revenge and that this revenge will continue with my children and their children, and their children's children, G-d willing.
May the memories of the victims of the Holocaust be blessed.
יהי זכרם ברוך
With Love,
Cigal
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Goodbye, my sons
I never hugged you, kissed you or stroked your hair. I never bathed you or changed your diapers. I never clapped for you when you took those first tentative steps and I never squealed in delight when I saw your first tooth.
I never cheered you on when you started using the toilet and when you threw out your pacifiers.
I never got that sinking feeling that mothers get when they bring their little ones to preschool for the first time and the little ones hold on to their mothers for dear life, terrified to let them leave.
I never told you I was proud of you, nor did I ever tell you that I love you.
I never got upset with you for fighting with your siblings or for breaking your brother's favorite toy.
I never held you in my arms to comfort you when you were sick, sad or just plain tired.
I never laid down next to you at night to hear the details of your day.
I never chased a ball with you, blew bubbles with you or splashed around in cool water with you during the hot summer months.
I never rocked you back to sleep when you woke up terrified by dreams that shook your world up.
I never even met you, but you were my sons, killed at the hands of evil, brutal terrorists who derived joy and pleasure from my loss. My heart aches for you, Yochai and Dor Chaim. In this tiny little country of ours that knows very little, if any degrees of separation, I feel like my world just grew darker, as two beautiful rays of light were extinguished from it. You were heroes, my boys. You fought to defend your people and your nation and sacrificed yourselves and your beautiful young lives in the process.
Your birth families are devastated. They are crushed beyond words. They are sobbing bitter tears and wondering how to continue living from now on. And your surrogate family, the entire Nation of Israel, joins them in their unbearable pain. We are a nation with one giant heart and with every loss, that heart cracks a little bit more each time. But it will never ever break.
Goodbye, my sons. Your memory will live deep within your family's heart.
יהי זכרם ברוך
Major Yochai Kalangel, 25 years old (Har Gilo)
Staff Sgt. Dor Chaim Nini, 20 years old (Shtulim)
With love,
Cigal
I never cheered you on when you started using the toilet and when you threw out your pacifiers.
I never got that sinking feeling that mothers get when they bring their little ones to preschool for the first time and the little ones hold on to their mothers for dear life, terrified to let them leave.
I never told you I was proud of you, nor did I ever tell you that I love you.
I never got upset with you for fighting with your siblings or for breaking your brother's favorite toy.
I never held you in my arms to comfort you when you were sick, sad or just plain tired.
I never laid down next to you at night to hear the details of your day.
I never chased a ball with you, blew bubbles with you or splashed around in cool water with you during the hot summer months.
I never rocked you back to sleep when you woke up terrified by dreams that shook your world up.
I never even met you, but you were my sons, killed at the hands of evil, brutal terrorists who derived joy and pleasure from my loss. My heart aches for you, Yochai and Dor Chaim. In this tiny little country of ours that knows very little, if any degrees of separation, I feel like my world just grew darker, as two beautiful rays of light were extinguished from it. You were heroes, my boys. You fought to defend your people and your nation and sacrificed yourselves and your beautiful young lives in the process.
Your birth families are devastated. They are crushed beyond words. They are sobbing bitter tears and wondering how to continue living from now on. And your surrogate family, the entire Nation of Israel, joins them in their unbearable pain. We are a nation with one giant heart and with every loss, that heart cracks a little bit more each time. But it will never ever break.
Goodbye, my sons. Your memory will live deep within your family's heart.
יהי זכרם ברוך
Major Yochai Kalangel, 25 years old (Har Gilo)
Staff Sgt. Dor Chaim Nini, 20 years old (Shtulim)
With love,
Cigal
Sunday, January 18, 2015
The Beauty of Shabbat
I remember almost 15 years ago, being newly single in Vancouver, on my path to discovering the beauty of Shabbat. The awe and the wonderment that I felt at every Shabbat service and Shabbat table filled my heart with love and joy, making me dare to dream of the day that I could create a warm, welcoming, inspiring environment in my own home one day. Being around various Shabbat tables, witnessing the angel-like beauty of the women as their husbands sang Aishet Chayil(Woman of Valor)to them, made me dream of the day that my future husband would sing that beautiful song to me with tremendous love and intent in his heart.
Every Jew has at least one mitzva that they feel particularly connected to. For some, it might be giving tzedaka(charity to the poor). For others, it may be Hachnassat Orchim (opening their doors to guests). Some women feel extremely connected to Taharat HaMishpacha(Family Purity/Mikve), while others may feel very attached to tzniut(modesty).
From the very beginning of my journey, I have always felt a deep and spiritual connection to Shabbat and Hachnassat Orchim. I attached myself to a beautiful congregation, one that felt more like a family. The Rabbi and his wife epitomized for me, the true beauty of Shabbat and Judaism. They were my role models, the ones I am indebted to for the rest of my life, for opening my heart and soul to the real definition of beauty. They became my dear friends over time. And then came my time to fly the coop, spread my wings and fly to the Land of Israel. I was going to build my life with Am Yisrael, in Eretz Yisrael, Al Pi Torat Yisrael. And so with fear, trepidation and excitement, I made the move to Israel ten years ago. Bit by bit, more and more friends from Vancouver followed suite and have created their own beautiful Torah observant homes in Israel.
But it wasn't all peaches and cream. Leaving my beautiful community in Vancouver was a tremendous loss, especially as I was single and living in a town where I felt no sense of community. Shabbat became more difficult. I was searching for that sense of community that I had given up and I wasn't finding it. Thank G-d, at least I was making friends and getting invited out for Shabbat. When I developed more friendships, I tried hosting meals, but somehow, it just wasn't the same. I felt a deep sense of longing and loss every time I thought about the beautiful people and community I had left behind...
Fast forward to now, ten years later, I have, thank G-d, married the perfect man for me. His "Aishet Chayil" every week elevates me and reminds me of how I longed for this so many years ago. Every week, we open our doors to guests and look forward to many more beautiful years of hosting.
This past Shabbat, we had an engaged couple over for lunch. In the middle of the meal, the woman turned to me and said "Wow, Cigal, everything is so delicious. This home is filled with Torah and love. What could be better?". In that one sentence, this woman, whom I had met only once before, shook me to my core and made me realize "Wow, I am TRULY living my dream".
I look forward to welcoming many, many more guests into our home for years to come. It's important to me that our home be open to any Jew who needs a meal, whether, he/she is single, divorced, older, younger, religious, on a path or just curious about Shabbat. It is my hope to impart the beauty of an open home to my children so that they'll want to continue with this tradition when they create their own homes one day, G-d willing.
With Love,
Cigal
Every Jew has at least one mitzva that they feel particularly connected to. For some, it might be giving tzedaka(charity to the poor). For others, it may be Hachnassat Orchim (opening their doors to guests). Some women feel extremely connected to Taharat HaMishpacha(Family Purity/Mikve), while others may feel very attached to tzniut(modesty).
From the very beginning of my journey, I have always felt a deep and spiritual connection to Shabbat and Hachnassat Orchim. I attached myself to a beautiful congregation, one that felt more like a family. The Rabbi and his wife epitomized for me, the true beauty of Shabbat and Judaism. They were my role models, the ones I am indebted to for the rest of my life, for opening my heart and soul to the real definition of beauty. They became my dear friends over time. And then came my time to fly the coop, spread my wings and fly to the Land of Israel. I was going to build my life with Am Yisrael, in Eretz Yisrael, Al Pi Torat Yisrael. And so with fear, trepidation and excitement, I made the move to Israel ten years ago. Bit by bit, more and more friends from Vancouver followed suite and have created their own beautiful Torah observant homes in Israel.
But it wasn't all peaches and cream. Leaving my beautiful community in Vancouver was a tremendous loss, especially as I was single and living in a town where I felt no sense of community. Shabbat became more difficult. I was searching for that sense of community that I had given up and I wasn't finding it. Thank G-d, at least I was making friends and getting invited out for Shabbat. When I developed more friendships, I tried hosting meals, but somehow, it just wasn't the same. I felt a deep sense of longing and loss every time I thought about the beautiful people and community I had left behind...
Fast forward to now, ten years later, I have, thank G-d, married the perfect man for me. His "Aishet Chayil" every week elevates me and reminds me of how I longed for this so many years ago. Every week, we open our doors to guests and look forward to many more beautiful years of hosting.
This past Shabbat, we had an engaged couple over for lunch. In the middle of the meal, the woman turned to me and said "Wow, Cigal, everything is so delicious. This home is filled with Torah and love. What could be better?". In that one sentence, this woman, whom I had met only once before, shook me to my core and made me realize "Wow, I am TRULY living my dream".
I look forward to welcoming many, many more guests into our home for years to come. It's important to me that our home be open to any Jew who needs a meal, whether, he/she is single, divorced, older, younger, religious, on a path or just curious about Shabbat. It is my hope to impart the beauty of an open home to my children so that they'll want to continue with this tradition when they create their own homes one day, G-d willing.
With Love,
Cigal
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)