It's All For The Best

"No" is a difficult word to hear. It's often also a very difficult word to say.

When we ask someone for something and their answer is "no", often times we feel hurt, disappointed and maybe even a little angry or resentful. When someone asks us for a favor, sometimes we say "yes",  even though we really wanted to say no and other times, we may say "no" and be filled with feelings of guilt and remorse, as though saying "no" made us bad people.

When we discipline our kids, we say "no" to more sweets if we think they'd had enough that day. We say "no" if our child wants to play on the computer before he/she has completed homework. We say "no" to our teenager who wants to take the car overnight, when he/she is a brand new driver; we would like to see him/her practice driving more before allowing him/her to take the car for so many hours. Sometimes our kids show us that we need to be more flexible and that "no" doesn't need to be" no forever", but "no for now". Sometimes our kids come up with valid arguments that make us reconsider and say "yes". Sometimes they think we hate them. Other times, they think they hate us. Sometimes, tough love is the way to go. Sometimes, simple words of encouragement and a big hug are the best answer.

I believe that G-d works the same way. Our Father in Heaven loves each and every one of us, just like a parent loves their child.Sometimes, we beg and plead with G-d for various things and we don't get them. In dark times, we might think He hates us. We might think we hate Him. We might wonder why He never answers us; why when we behave so nicely, trying to be good people, well behaved, kind to others around us, we still don't get what we've been asking for...

Both of our kids were born tongue tied (with short frenulums). Right as we left the hospital after each birth, we brought each child to an expert who clipped their frenulums. For each child, we were required to do tongue exercises for the week that followed, which would open and re-open the wound, causing more pain to our sweet and innocent newborn babies. As parents, it was heart wrenching to do these exercises, knowing that we were causing additional pain to our children(clipping the frenulums felt like MORE than enough pain to inflict on the poor little darlings...). But then, one night, after doing the exercises with our baby girl, Hubby said a line that stuck with me and will likely stick for years to come. He told our baby girl:" Remember, Honey, we're not doing this TO you...We're doing it FOR you". (So that you can nurse more efficiently, thrive more, be on target developmentally, etc)...It's all for the best.

I can imagine that when G-d gives us trials and tribulations to face and overcome, as much as they hurt us and cause us pain and suffering, G-d feels our pain and He hurts, too. No parent likes seeing their child suffer.

Our sweet and innocent babies' cries pierced right into Hubby's and my heart and we hated every minute of those tongue exercises, but we got through them by reminding ourselves that although they were hurting and suffering at that moment, it would all turn out for the best in the long run, which it did, Thank G-d. Both kids were able to latch on like champions and reap the tremendous rewards of breastfeeding. Our baby girl continues to reap those rewards on a daily/nightly basis.

G-d doesn't give pain and heartache TO us. He gives it FOR us. So that we can grow. So that we can become better and stronger people. Everything He does is for the best.

With Love,

Cigal