I am a strong believer in "teachable moments". Maybe it's the former teacher in me speaking, but I like finding golden opportunities to teach my kids important life lessons.
My little boy and I generally sit together in the early am before my daughter wakes up and we eat a bowl of cereal together. It's our special time together before I bring him to preschool. The other day, he decided not to wait for me and to get his own cereal. He got the cereal and the milk, a bowl and a spoon. He sat down at his very own special table and poured himself some cereal. I was in the kitchen finishing up making his lunch. When I went in to see him, he had unfortunately poured the entire jug of milk into his little bowl and the inevitable result was spilled milk all over the table and all over him. Here was a perfect teachable moment. I could have gotten annoyed at him. I could have raised my voice. But in a case such as this, I knew that it must have been an accident and that he must have lost his grasp on the jug. In Judaism, there's an important concept of Dan L'Kaf Zchut, judging your fellow Jew favorably. I said to my little boy" It's okay my sweet boy. This was an accident. You were being an independent big boy, getting your breakfast by yourself. Maybe the milk jug was a little too heavy for you. Maybe next time, call Ema to pour the milk". Right after this lesson, I found the little guy unrolling an entire roll of toilet paper, cutting the paper into tiny shreds and throwing it ll over the floor. This time I said to him" Honey, this is NOT an accident. It's not nice to give Ema more cleaning work." As soon as I said that, the little guy got down on the floor, picked up all the pieces and threw them in the trash can. I was so proud of him :)
Today, I went shopping with my little girl. I was looking for winter hats for her, my boy and for myself. We were in a busy store filled with customers. I took two different children's hats off the rack to have a look at. Suddenly the place got so overcrowded and my little girl was getting antsy and hungry, so we left. A few minutes later, I looked on the top of the stroller and saw the two hats on there. Those hats had come with me out of the store without being paid for. When I realized what had happened, I told my little girl" Ema made a big mistake. Let's go fix it". We went back to the store and I returned the hats to their proper shelves. I told the saleswoman what had happened and apologized profusely. I was grateful that my daughter had witnessed it all.
My daughter is almost 8 months old and my son is 2 years old, but I don't believe that children are ever too young to learn from their environment. I talk to my kids. I admit and take responsibility when I've made a mistake. I look for opportunities to teach them things that might help them in the future.
Teachable moments are priceless.
With Love,
Cigal
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
An Attitude of Gratitude
Sometimes, life gets a little too comfortable. Sometimes, we begin to take things for granted. Sometimes we forget that every single detail in our life is a GIFT FROM G-D...Recently, I noticed that there were certain aspects of my life that I was taking for granted and not showing enough gratitude, either to G-d or his messengers that provide me with daily, if not hourly, reasons to be grateful. If I really sat and thought about it, I'm sure I could come up with hundreds more reasons to be grateful, but here is a shortened list:
1) I am grateful that I was born in Canada and that I was able to experience falls and winters there growing up. Playing in the beautiful changing/falling leaves, building snowmen and making snow angels as a child were very special and irreplaceable parts of my childhood.
2) I am grateful that I was born to the two parents I was blessed with. Through the years, being their daughter has taught me a lot about myself and the kind of woman I want(ed) to grow to become.
3) I am grateful to my parents for speaking to me in Hebrew and French while I was growing up, as now I am fluent in three languages.
4) I am grateful to my surrogate sisters in Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver, Atlanta and beyond, who have taught me the true value of real friendship.
5) I am grateful to my ex husband for loving me enough to let me go.
6) I am grateful to Rabbi Ross Singer and his wife Emily for helping me to connect with the deepest part of myself and encouraging me to begin my journey into the rich world of Yiddishkeit.
7) I am grateful to Rabbi Fass and Nefesh B'Nefesh (www.nbn.org.il) for helping me realize my dream of making Aliyah and then giving me a job as a Pre Aliyah Counselor for my first year and a half here.
8) I am grateful to Prof. Reuven Feuerstein (www.icelp.org) for giving me a job as a mediator in his holy center of miracles.
9) I am grateful to all the different guys I went on dates with before I met my husband, as every wrong date brought me closer to my soul mate.
10) I am grateful for Facebook as it allows me to stay connected to people I love and it serves as a great tool for educating the rest of the world and trying to change their misconceptions about the amazing place I live in.
11) I am grateful to live in a community full of people who do tremendous chessed (acts of loving kindness). One of the many examples is not allowing me to cook a single meal for my family for a whole month, after each time I gave birth.
12) I am grateful to G-d for bringing me my sweet, caring, loving and devoted Hubby at the perfect time.
13) I am grateful to G-d and to Hubby for making me an Ema (mother) to my two precious jewels.
14) I am grateful for the fantastic medical care I received during my pregnancy, during labour and during my stays in the hospital post deliveries.
15) I am grateful that Hubby's income allows for me to stay home with our kids and to be there for all of their important milestones.
16) I am grateful for Shabbat. To this day, I have no idea how I managed living a life without it.
17) I am grateful each morning I wake up to the sound of Hubby and our special little treasures.
18) I am grateful for cool and sunny days around this time of year.
19) I am grateful for my crockpot, which allows for me to make yummy and healthy meals without having to hang out for hours in the kitchen.
20) I am grateful for the shows "Law and Order" and "Glee", the two shows that Hubby and I enjoy watching together after the kiddies have gone to sleep.
21) I am grateful for SKYPE, as it allows for my kids to develop and maintain relationships with their grandparents who live on the other side of the world.
22) I am grateful for G-d's mitzvot, His Commandments, as they encourage me to live a rich life of striving to become the best Me that I can be.
23) I am grateful for Ben & Jerry's, as their sinfully decadent ice creams are wonderful treats, especially on a hot summer day (or any other day, for that matter).
24) I am grateful for good music and fun times dancing with my kids.
25) I am grateful for being able to see the good that comes from very painful events in my life and encouraging the people I love to do the same.
Dear reader, take a good and honest look at your life. There's no question in my mind, that you too, have many, many things to be grateful for. I truly believe that only good things can come from developing an attitude of gratitude.
With Love,
Cigal
1) I am grateful that I was born in Canada and that I was able to experience falls and winters there growing up. Playing in the beautiful changing/falling leaves, building snowmen and making snow angels as a child were very special and irreplaceable parts of my childhood.
2) I am grateful that I was born to the two parents I was blessed with. Through the years, being their daughter has taught me a lot about myself and the kind of woman I want(ed) to grow to become.
3) I am grateful to my parents for speaking to me in Hebrew and French while I was growing up, as now I am fluent in three languages.
4) I am grateful to my surrogate sisters in Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver, Atlanta and beyond, who have taught me the true value of real friendship.
5) I am grateful to my ex husband for loving me enough to let me go.
6) I am grateful to Rabbi Ross Singer and his wife Emily for helping me to connect with the deepest part of myself and encouraging me to begin my journey into the rich world of Yiddishkeit.
7) I am grateful to Rabbi Fass and Nefesh B'Nefesh (www.nbn.org.il) for helping me realize my dream of making Aliyah and then giving me a job as a Pre Aliyah Counselor for my first year and a half here.
8) I am grateful to Prof. Reuven Feuerstein (www.icelp.org) for giving me a job as a mediator in his holy center of miracles.
9) I am grateful to all the different guys I went on dates with before I met my husband, as every wrong date brought me closer to my soul mate.
10) I am grateful for Facebook as it allows me to stay connected to people I love and it serves as a great tool for educating the rest of the world and trying to change their misconceptions about the amazing place I live in.
11) I am grateful to live in a community full of people who do tremendous chessed (acts of loving kindness). One of the many examples is not allowing me to cook a single meal for my family for a whole month, after each time I gave birth.
12) I am grateful to G-d for bringing me my sweet, caring, loving and devoted Hubby at the perfect time.
13) I am grateful to G-d and to Hubby for making me an Ema (mother) to my two precious jewels.
14) I am grateful for the fantastic medical care I received during my pregnancy, during labour and during my stays in the hospital post deliveries.
15) I am grateful that Hubby's income allows for me to stay home with our kids and to be there for all of their important milestones.
16) I am grateful for Shabbat. To this day, I have no idea how I managed living a life without it.
17) I am grateful each morning I wake up to the sound of Hubby and our special little treasures.
18) I am grateful for cool and sunny days around this time of year.
19) I am grateful for my crockpot, which allows for me to make yummy and healthy meals without having to hang out for hours in the kitchen.
20) I am grateful for the shows "Law and Order" and "Glee", the two shows that Hubby and I enjoy watching together after the kiddies have gone to sleep.
21) I am grateful for SKYPE, as it allows for my kids to develop and maintain relationships with their grandparents who live on the other side of the world.
22) I am grateful for G-d's mitzvot, His Commandments, as they encourage me to live a rich life of striving to become the best Me that I can be.
23) I am grateful for Ben & Jerry's, as their sinfully decadent ice creams are wonderful treats, especially on a hot summer day (or any other day, for that matter).
24) I am grateful for good music and fun times dancing with my kids.
25) I am grateful for being able to see the good that comes from very painful events in my life and encouraging the people I love to do the same.
Dear reader, take a good and honest look at your life. There's no question in my mind, that you too, have many, many things to be grateful for. I truly believe that only good things can come from developing an attitude of gratitude.
With Love,
Cigal
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Don't Cry Over Spilled Smoothies
I've finally figured out a way for my little guy to ingest fruits and really enjoy them. Every day, I get my blender out and throw in a mix of some of the yummiest seasonal fruit, freshly squeezed OJ and vanilla flavored BIO yogurt. He gulps it down and then in his cutest possible voice, lifts the cup to me and says "Ama(aka Ema), Mo(aka More!)".
Yesterday morning we were all dressed and ready to go to preschool when he decided he wanted a little more "O juice" (that's what he calls most juices). The baby was dressed and waiting patiently in the double stroller and my sweet little boy went for the cup that was sitting on the table, saying "finish me!". I guess he must have tripped over something, because the cup went flying out of his hands, and the juice splashed all over him and all over the floor. Right then and there, I stopped in my tracks and thought" This is a perfect teachable moment, Cigal. Don't get annoyed. It was an accident. He didn't do it on purpose and the way you respond to him is SO important"...
"Oh, Oh", I said..."Your yummy juice spilled on the floor...I'm so sorry, honey. You must be disappointed because you really wanted to drink it. Ema is going to clean the floor up so no uninvited guests come over (aka ants). After I clean the floor, I will wash you up, change your clothes and give you more juice if you would like". And that's exactly what I did: I wiped the floor, washed him up, put on dry clothes and gave him more smoothie to drink. Even though he was covered in juice, he was giggling and clapping his sticky little hands as I sang silly songs to him while washing him up and changing his clothes. All the while, his little sister was waiting patiently in their stroller playing with her dolly. After gulping down his drink, we headed to preschool and got there a half hour late.
Fast forward to the late afternoon. The same exact thing happened with his smoothie. Somehow, the cup slipped out of his hands and splashed all over the floor, our couch and him. It felt like G-d was testing me to see how I would respond this time. I was determined to pass the test. Instead of getting annoyed or impatient, I said " My sweet little boy, you're just not having any luck with your drinks today, are you? It's not the end of the world, honey. Ema can always make you more, if you would like". I cleaned him, the couch, and the floor and gave my little guy a big hug and said "I love you, my sweet boy". He then led me to the kitchen by the hand, opened the fridge door, pointed to the blender with the juice in it and said "MO!".
What was the lesson I was to learn from this? What was the lesson I wanted to impart to my boy? That Life often throws us curve balls. Sometimes those curve balls are small annoyances and other times, they're big and seemingly insurmountable obstacles. I want to teach my kids how to roll with the punches. How to "go with the flow" and not sweat the small stuff. In this case, there was no use at all to cry over the spilled smoothies.
With Love,
Cigal
Yesterday morning we were all dressed and ready to go to preschool when he decided he wanted a little more "O juice" (that's what he calls most juices). The baby was dressed and waiting patiently in the double stroller and my sweet little boy went for the cup that was sitting on the table, saying "finish me!". I guess he must have tripped over something, because the cup went flying out of his hands, and the juice splashed all over him and all over the floor. Right then and there, I stopped in my tracks and thought" This is a perfect teachable moment, Cigal. Don't get annoyed. It was an accident. He didn't do it on purpose and the way you respond to him is SO important"...
"Oh, Oh", I said..."Your yummy juice spilled on the floor...I'm so sorry, honey. You must be disappointed because you really wanted to drink it. Ema is going to clean the floor up so no uninvited guests come over (aka ants). After I clean the floor, I will wash you up, change your clothes and give you more juice if you would like". And that's exactly what I did: I wiped the floor, washed him up, put on dry clothes and gave him more smoothie to drink. Even though he was covered in juice, he was giggling and clapping his sticky little hands as I sang silly songs to him while washing him up and changing his clothes. All the while, his little sister was waiting patiently in their stroller playing with her dolly. After gulping down his drink, we headed to preschool and got there a half hour late.
Fast forward to the late afternoon. The same exact thing happened with his smoothie. Somehow, the cup slipped out of his hands and splashed all over the floor, our couch and him. It felt like G-d was testing me to see how I would respond this time. I was determined to pass the test. Instead of getting annoyed or impatient, I said " My sweet little boy, you're just not having any luck with your drinks today, are you? It's not the end of the world, honey. Ema can always make you more, if you would like". I cleaned him, the couch, and the floor and gave my little guy a big hug and said "I love you, my sweet boy". He then led me to the kitchen by the hand, opened the fridge door, pointed to the blender with the juice in it and said "MO!".
What was the lesson I was to learn from this? What was the lesson I wanted to impart to my boy? That Life often throws us curve balls. Sometimes those curve balls are small annoyances and other times, they're big and seemingly insurmountable obstacles. I want to teach my kids how to roll with the punches. How to "go with the flow" and not sweat the small stuff. In this case, there was no use at all to cry over the spilled smoothies.
With Love,
Cigal
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Live Your Dreams
I hate fear. I hate the way it can take over one's life. Fear is what makes people stay in bad jobs, unhealthy friendships and bad marriages. Fear is what holds people back from taking that leap of faith and leaving the bad job, ending the friendship and leaving the marriage.
When I was planning my Aliyah, I was living in Vancouver, loving my warm, wonderful and close knit religious Jewish community. I was working as a school counselor at a couple of inner city schools and making a very nice and comfortable income. This allowed me to have my own very nice apartment, a new car and a nice savings account. And yet, my heart and soul were deeply yearning for more...
When I first brought up the idea of Aliyah, there were two camps: one camp that said" Wow, way to go, Cigal! You're so brave! Go live your dream!" and the other camp that said" Oh my G-d, Cigal! What are you, NUTS??? Look at you? You have the perfect job, a great apartment, a great community...Why the heck would you give all that up to move to a war zone??" Those naysayers, inevitably, instilled a sense of fear and doubt in me..."What if Israel really is nothing but a pipe dream? What if I go there and I don't find work? What if I struggle to find a community? What if I don't meet anyone I can build my life with?..."
"NO. I'm not gonna listen to them. I know that I have to do it. Israel is where I belong."
I remember repeating that phrase OVER and OVER again for months, like a mantra, until I got on that Nefesh B'Nefesh flight and stepped off the stairs onto the tarmac at Ben Gurion Airport. It was when my two feet touched the ground here that I was overcome by a tremendous sense of calm. I DID IT. I ignored the naysayers. I got inspired and fueled by my supporters and here I was, about to live my dream.
In my seven years here, I have done and accomplished so much more than I and my naysayers could ever have dreamed of. I try to imagine what would have happened had I listened to them and allowed fear to take over me...Hubby and I would still be walking around aimlessly, searching for each other...Our precious little jewels would still be waiting for their missions here on Earth...And I would probably still be in Vancouver, living a good life instead of in Israel, living an extraordinary one...
My dear readers, don't let fear trap you in a place where you'll never be able to spread your wings and fly. Never listen to the naysayers in your life who try talking you out of the voices in your heart and your soul that tell you that you want and need more.You deserve to live your dreams.
With Love,
Cigal
When I was planning my Aliyah, I was living in Vancouver, loving my warm, wonderful and close knit religious Jewish community. I was working as a school counselor at a couple of inner city schools and making a very nice and comfortable income. This allowed me to have my own very nice apartment, a new car and a nice savings account. And yet, my heart and soul were deeply yearning for more...
When I first brought up the idea of Aliyah, there were two camps: one camp that said" Wow, way to go, Cigal! You're so brave! Go live your dream!" and the other camp that said" Oh my G-d, Cigal! What are you, NUTS??? Look at you? You have the perfect job, a great apartment, a great community...Why the heck would you give all that up to move to a war zone??" Those naysayers, inevitably, instilled a sense of fear and doubt in me..."What if Israel really is nothing but a pipe dream? What if I go there and I don't find work? What if I struggle to find a community? What if I don't meet anyone I can build my life with?..."
"NO. I'm not gonna listen to them. I know that I have to do it. Israel is where I belong."
I remember repeating that phrase OVER and OVER again for months, like a mantra, until I got on that Nefesh B'Nefesh flight and stepped off the stairs onto the tarmac at Ben Gurion Airport. It was when my two feet touched the ground here that I was overcome by a tremendous sense of calm. I DID IT. I ignored the naysayers. I got inspired and fueled by my supporters and here I was, about to live my dream.
In my seven years here, I have done and accomplished so much more than I and my naysayers could ever have dreamed of. I try to imagine what would have happened had I listened to them and allowed fear to take over me...Hubby and I would still be walking around aimlessly, searching for each other...Our precious little jewels would still be waiting for their missions here on Earth...And I would probably still be in Vancouver, living a good life instead of in Israel, living an extraordinary one...
My dear readers, don't let fear trap you in a place where you'll never be able to spread your wings and fly. Never listen to the naysayers in your life who try talking you out of the voices in your heart and your soul that tell you that you want and need more.You deserve to live your dreams.
With Love,
Cigal
Monday, October 17, 2011
Free Love
No, I'm not talking about the 60's...I'm not talking about their motto of"Make Love, Not War".
I'm talking about the here and the now. I'm talking about left wing and right wing Jews. I'm talking about religious and not religious Jews. Chareidi (Ultra Orthodox) and Modern Orthodox. I'm talking about the scary, SCARY state of affairs our people are in. We are in danger. The world is looking at us through a magnifying glass. We are being watched by hawks. Our cousins want us out of our land. OUR land. The land that is rightfully ours. And the countries of the world are either bystanders who won't get involved or they're openly critical of every move we make.
We need to STOP in our tracks and look within. Forget the world for a minute. Look at your brothers and your sisters who have different political opinions than you. Look at your fellow Jews who are more or less observant than you are. How do you communicate with them? In your heart of hearts, in the depths of your soul, what do you feel about a Jew who does everything differently than you? We MUST do a cheshbon hanefesh, an accounting of the soul. We must swallow our pride and find the good in our brothers and our sisters, even if we don't agree with them...We need to unite as a people. As a nation. Our future is at stake and it's up to US, not the world, to stand up and be strong.
Tomorrow is going to be a very emotionally charged day, as our people welcome Gilad Shalit back home (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilad_Shalit). Israel and Hamas sealed a deal last week through Egyptian mediation that will see Shalit freed in exchange for 1,027 Arab prisoners, many of them involved in masterminding or carrying out terror attacks against Israelis. To say the least, the exchange is bittersweet. Speaking for myself, I am thrilled that Gilad will go home to his family, where he belongs. But the price is so hard to swallow. The people being freed are not in jail for parking or traffic violations. These are monsters. 905 life sentences and more than 4,400 years in jail for the ones who don't have life sentences. Our people are in grave danger, as these monsters go back to resume their lives and plan the next attacks to kill off as many of us as possible.
I'm talking about the here and the now. I'm talking about left wing and right wing Jews. I'm talking about religious and not religious Jews. Chareidi (Ultra Orthodox) and Modern Orthodox. I'm talking about the scary, SCARY state of affairs our people are in. We are in danger. The world is looking at us through a magnifying glass. We are being watched by hawks. Our cousins want us out of our land. OUR land. The land that is rightfully ours. And the countries of the world are either bystanders who won't get involved or they're openly critical of every move we make.
We need to STOP in our tracks and look within. Forget the world for a minute. Look at your brothers and your sisters who have different political opinions than you. Look at your fellow Jews who are more or less observant than you are. How do you communicate with them? In your heart of hearts, in the depths of your soul, what do you feel about a Jew who does everything differently than you? We MUST do a cheshbon hanefesh, an accounting of the soul. We must swallow our pride and find the good in our brothers and our sisters, even if we don't agree with them...We need to unite as a people. As a nation. Our future is at stake and it's up to US, not the world, to stand up and be strong.
Tomorrow is going to be a very emotionally charged day, as our people welcome Gilad Shalit back home (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilad_Shalit). Israel and Hamas sealed a deal last week through Egyptian mediation that will see Shalit freed in exchange for 1,027 Arab prisoners, many of them involved in masterminding or carrying out terror attacks against Israelis. To say the least, the exchange is bittersweet. Speaking for myself, I am thrilled that Gilad will go home to his family, where he belongs. But the price is so hard to swallow. The people being freed are not in jail for parking or traffic violations. These are monsters. 905 life sentences and more than 4,400 years in jail for the ones who don't have life sentences. Our people are in grave danger, as these monsters go back to resume their lives and plan the next attacks to kill off as many of us as possible.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Listen to your Soul
Most people generally love Chanukka or Passover. Some really go all out on Purim. Others love Rosh Hashana.
When someone asks me what my favorite Jewish holiday is, they are often quite perplexed by my answer. Yom Kippur is my favorite holiday. Let me explain.
My ex husband and I were high school sweethearts. We met when we were 16, were the best of friends and after a couple of years, something happened and our friendship blossomed into something more . I was not religious growing up but I always went to synagogue on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Every year on Yom Kippur, while in the sanctuary, I felt a small tug in my heart from all the beautiful tunes and words...Sometimes so much so that I would cry, even at age 8. At 18, we started dating and at 21 we broke up. At 24, we found our way back to each other and moved across the country together (from Montreal to Vancouver). We were essentially married in all ways...Except that we weren't really. At 28 we got married officially. My ex was not interested in Judaism or any religion for that matter. Little did I know what a central and core part of me I was giving away by marrying him...I remember a couple of months after our wedding, it was Yom Kippur and I was in synagogue without him. Except this time, it was no longer small tugs on my heart, it was a powerful and breath stopping pull that I had never ever felt before. I was moved to tears...As I looked over the mechitza(separation between men and women in an Orthodox synagogue), I was overcome with the most intense and overwhelming sense of clarity...I had married the wrong man. As I looked over the mechitza and saw all the little boys sitting on their Abas' laps, it hit me like a ton of bricks that my children would never experience Yom Kippur with their Aba if I stayed married to my husband...
My soul was screaming in pain, howling in agony and I listened to it. I listened to my Pintele Yid( my G-dly spark) and I followed it on a journey into the unknown. And for over a decade, I have experienced the true beauty and joy of Yom Kippur...The Day of Atonement...My time to reconnect with Abaleh, my Father in Heaven. My time for opportunity to renew my relationship with Him and the people I love and care about. The fasting can be challenging, but it serves as a really important and useful purpose in my opinion.
Yom Kippur is going to look very different this year than it has in past years, as I will be home with the little ones most of the time. I will likely not have many (or any) opportunities to be in synagogue, but I intend to find opportunities to steal some time to talk to Abaleh and thank Him yet again for pushing me to the place that I am at now: married to the perfect man for me, entrusted with raising two of His precious jewels.
My dear readers who observe Yom Kippur and to all my dear brothers and sisters who may be experiencing a screaming and crying soul like I was all those years ago, come back Home. Abaleh is right here, waiting to hear from you, waiting to shower you with an abundance of blessings. Listen to your soul. It knows best.
Gmar Chatima Tova with Love,
Cigal
When someone asks me what my favorite Jewish holiday is, they are often quite perplexed by my answer. Yom Kippur is my favorite holiday. Let me explain.
My ex husband and I were high school sweethearts. We met when we were 16, were the best of friends and after a couple of years, something happened and our friendship blossomed into something more . I was not religious growing up but I always went to synagogue on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Every year on Yom Kippur, while in the sanctuary, I felt a small tug in my heart from all the beautiful tunes and words...Sometimes so much so that I would cry, even at age 8. At 18, we started dating and at 21 we broke up. At 24, we found our way back to each other and moved across the country together (from Montreal to Vancouver). We were essentially married in all ways...Except that we weren't really. At 28 we got married officially. My ex was not interested in Judaism or any religion for that matter. Little did I know what a central and core part of me I was giving away by marrying him...I remember a couple of months after our wedding, it was Yom Kippur and I was in synagogue without him. Except this time, it was no longer small tugs on my heart, it was a powerful and breath stopping pull that I had never ever felt before. I was moved to tears...As I looked over the mechitza(separation between men and women in an Orthodox synagogue), I was overcome with the most intense and overwhelming sense of clarity...I had married the wrong man. As I looked over the mechitza and saw all the little boys sitting on their Abas' laps, it hit me like a ton of bricks that my children would never experience Yom Kippur with their Aba if I stayed married to my husband...
My soul was screaming in pain, howling in agony and I listened to it. I listened to my Pintele Yid( my G-dly spark) and I followed it on a journey into the unknown. And for over a decade, I have experienced the true beauty and joy of Yom Kippur...The Day of Atonement...My time to reconnect with Abaleh, my Father in Heaven. My time for opportunity to renew my relationship with Him and the people I love and care about. The fasting can be challenging, but it serves as a really important and useful purpose in my opinion.
Yom Kippur is going to look very different this year than it has in past years, as I will be home with the little ones most of the time. I will likely not have many (or any) opportunities to be in synagogue, but I intend to find opportunities to steal some time to talk to Abaleh and thank Him yet again for pushing me to the place that I am at now: married to the perfect man for me, entrusted with raising two of His precious jewels.
My dear readers who observe Yom Kippur and to all my dear brothers and sisters who may be experiencing a screaming and crying soul like I was all those years ago, come back Home. Abaleh is right here, waiting to hear from you, waiting to shower you with an abundance of blessings. Listen to your soul. It knows best.
Gmar Chatima Tova with Love,
Cigal
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
A Dish Full of Love
Tomorrow night at sunset, Jewish people all over the globe will begin celebrating the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashana (literally "head of the year"). Rosh Hashana marks the beginning of "The Days of Awe" (Yamim Nora'im). This is the holiest time of the year...A time of year where we are given a chance to atone for our sins and to G-d willing be given a clean slate for the upcoming year.
Rosh Hashana and the days that follow are a time for introspection. A time to have a mirror up close and to take a good look at what we see. It is a time to make amends with people we have wronged and to accept apologies from those who have wronged us. It is a time to make plans for the upcoming year. To think about ways to break free from the chains that enslave us(ie. addictions to things such as technology and food). It is a time to commit to spending more time with the family and less time on Facebook. A time to decide once and for all to join that gym and attend those aerobics/Zumba classes a couple of times a week. A time to make more time in the day for learning Torah and doing chessed( acts of loving kindness).
In the big whirlwind of planning the menu for the upcoming 3 days (6 meals, as we go from Rosh Hashanah straight to Shabbat), it can sometimes take the focus away from what these days really mean. Don't get me wrong. I love my family and I love food. I love having guests around our table. I love feeding my family and I love feeding the honored guests around our table. But I also really want to stay in tune with the other important places my head and my heart are supposed to be for the upcoming days and weeks.
A wonderful and very wise Ima I know gave what I consider to be AMAZING advice:
Rosh Hashana and the days that follow are a time for introspection. A time to have a mirror up close and to take a good look at what we see. It is a time to make amends with people we have wronged and to accept apologies from those who have wronged us. It is a time to make plans for the upcoming year. To think about ways to break free from the chains that enslave us(ie. addictions to things such as technology and food). It is a time to commit to spending more time with the family and less time on Facebook. A time to decide once and for all to join that gym and attend those aerobics/Zumba classes a couple of times a week. A time to make more time in the day for learning Torah and doing chessed( acts of loving kindness).
In the big whirlwind of planning the menu for the upcoming 3 days (6 meals, as we go from Rosh Hashanah straight to Shabbat), it can sometimes take the focus away from what these days really mean. Don't get me wrong. I love my family and I love food. I love having guests around our table. I love feeding my family and I love feeding the honored guests around our table. But I also really want to stay in tune with the other important places my head and my heart are supposed to be for the upcoming days and weeks.
A wonderful and very wise Ima I know gave what I consider to be AMAZING advice:
Thursday, September 22, 2011
A New Perspective
When I was first becoming religious, more than a decade ago, I was on fire. The spark in my soul( My Pintele Yid, The G-dly spark found in every single Jew) had turned into a flame. I was hungry for spirituality. Hungry for a relationship with my Almighty Father in Heaven. I remember spending hours talking to G-d every day. My prayers were filled with a deep passion and a fervor I had never experienced or felt before...Every time I recited a blessing before or after a snack or a meal, a tremendous sense of serenity would transcend over me after wards...I had finally made my way back Home. Back to my Source. Back to my relationship with my Creator, My Father in Heaven.
When I made Aliyah, that fire was growing and going strong. The passion and the near zealousness were palpable. I felt like my feet were planted firmly on the ground, while my mind, my heart and my soul were transcending the heavens...
A few years after making Aliyah, I had reached a plateau and was what I would call "cruising on the road of Yiddishkeit". I was in a standstill. Not growing...Not seeking to...Just kind of stagnant. And then I went through a very difficult year with a very painful and disappointing relationship. I saw that year as a wake up call. G-d was right there, waiting for me to turn to Him. To pour out my heart to Him. To ask Him for more help and guidance in finding the right person to spend the rest of my life with...
And then I met Hubby. And I felt that spark I had felt years before...Except this time, my G-dly spark was pushing me to want to grow in a different way...To become a better person...To continually develop my relationship with important people in my life. At the time, it still felt like I was kind of cruising and not doing much to develop my relationship with G-d...
Now I'm a wife and a STAHI (Stay at Home Ima). Now instead of waking up in the morning and immediately creating a quiet space for long and meaningful praying time to Abaleh (Hubby's & my nickname for G-d), I make Hubby a bag of healthy snacks for his day before he runs out the door. Then I make a lunch for my boy for his day at preschool. There are good morning hugs and kisses to be given to the little ones; dirty diapers to be changed; breakfasts to prepare and be eaten...It is only after I get home with my baby girl, after we've dropped my boy off at preschool, that I can even contemplate standing before my Maker and thanking him for another wonderful day. Sometimes a sense of guilt sets in..."Gosh, I don't pray enough"...or"I wish I could spend more time in synagogue"...Or "It's so sad that my Avodat Hashem (my worship of G-d) is suffering so much"...
In recent weeks, I have started going to a Torah class with my baby every Wednesday morning. It's geared towards new young mothers and we all bring our babies. All of us are G-d fearing and G-d loving Jewish women, learning to find the perfect balance in our lives between being good wives, good mothers and good Jews. Yesterday, the woman giving over the class began by asking us to each count and say how many mitzvot (commandments) we had each fulfilled that morning before arriving to the class...That question just made my light bulb go on( or as we say in Hebrew, Nafal HaAseemon). It's not that G-d forbid, my Avodat Hashem is suffering or dwindling...Nothing like that. In fact, Hubby always tells me "Ha Osek Be'Mitzvah Patur Mi'Mitzvah"...When you fulfill one commandment, you are exempt from another one. So the fact that I don't spend the same amount of time in deep meditative prayer does not mean that my relationship with G-d is in trouble G-d forbid...Quite the contrary. I feel tremendously blessed that G-d has entrusted Hubby and me with two of His precious Jewels (our kids) and that He believes in us enough to raise them in His ways. My relationship with G-d is now at it's highest peak EVER. He is trusting me to raise the next generation of Jews. What a tremendous honor.
With Love,
Cigal
When I made Aliyah, that fire was growing and going strong. The passion and the near zealousness were palpable. I felt like my feet were planted firmly on the ground, while my mind, my heart and my soul were transcending the heavens...
A few years after making Aliyah, I had reached a plateau and was what I would call "cruising on the road of Yiddishkeit". I was in a standstill. Not growing...Not seeking to...Just kind of stagnant. And then I went through a very difficult year with a very painful and disappointing relationship. I saw that year as a wake up call. G-d was right there, waiting for me to turn to Him. To pour out my heart to Him. To ask Him for more help and guidance in finding the right person to spend the rest of my life with...
And then I met Hubby. And I felt that spark I had felt years before...Except this time, my G-dly spark was pushing me to want to grow in a different way...To become a better person...To continually develop my relationship with important people in my life. At the time, it still felt like I was kind of cruising and not doing much to develop my relationship with G-d...
Now I'm a wife and a STAHI (Stay at Home Ima). Now instead of waking up in the morning and immediately creating a quiet space for long and meaningful praying time to Abaleh (Hubby's & my nickname for G-d), I make Hubby a bag of healthy snacks for his day before he runs out the door. Then I make a lunch for my boy for his day at preschool. There are good morning hugs and kisses to be given to the little ones; dirty diapers to be changed; breakfasts to prepare and be eaten...It is only after I get home with my baby girl, after we've dropped my boy off at preschool, that I can even contemplate standing before my Maker and thanking him for another wonderful day. Sometimes a sense of guilt sets in..."Gosh, I don't pray enough"...or"I wish I could spend more time in synagogue"...Or "It's so sad that my Avodat Hashem (my worship of G-d) is suffering so much"...
In recent weeks, I have started going to a Torah class with my baby every Wednesday morning. It's geared towards new young mothers and we all bring our babies. All of us are G-d fearing and G-d loving Jewish women, learning to find the perfect balance in our lives between being good wives, good mothers and good Jews. Yesterday, the woman giving over the class began by asking us to each count and say how many mitzvot (commandments) we had each fulfilled that morning before arriving to the class...That question just made my light bulb go on( or as we say in Hebrew, Nafal HaAseemon). It's not that G-d forbid, my Avodat Hashem is suffering or dwindling...Nothing like that. In fact, Hubby always tells me "Ha Osek Be'Mitzvah Patur Mi'Mitzvah"...When you fulfill one commandment, you are exempt from another one. So the fact that I don't spend the same amount of time in deep meditative prayer does not mean that my relationship with G-d is in trouble G-d forbid...Quite the contrary. I feel tremendously blessed that G-d has entrusted Hubby and me with two of His precious Jewels (our kids) and that He believes in us enough to raise them in His ways. My relationship with G-d is now at it's highest peak EVER. He is trusting me to raise the next generation of Jews. What a tremendous honor.
With Love,
Cigal
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Be their rock
This morning, my little boy had a hard time letting me leave him at preschool. As I was heading out the door, he burst into tears and called out" Ama, Ama, Ama" (his version of Ima, or Mommy). I felt a real physical pain in my heart. I bent down to the ground at eye level, gave him a hug and a kiss and said" I'm sorry you seem so sad that Ama brought you to gan...I'm sorry you seem like you would like to go back home...Ama loves you very much and will be back to take you home in a few hours. Now it's time to play with your friends and to have a great time". And with that, I stood up, opened the door and walked out, leaving my sweet and darling little boy sobbing his eyes out"Ama, Ama, Ama". I stood outside that door for what seemed like hours, until his cries subsided and then my little girl and I headed home. When we returned to pick him up, he had a huge smile on his face. A smile that said :"Ama, I had lots of fun today, but I'm so happy to see you and that you're taking me home with you".
As Imas, we hate hearing our little ones cry. We wish we could take away every hard feeling they ever have. We want them to be happy and smiling all the time. But that's not real life. Real life is filled with disappointments, both big and small. There are times when our kids will feel sad, scared, hurt, angry, embarrassed, betrayed and many other feelings that are hard to swallow. As much as it pains us to hear our kids expressing these difficult feelings, every single one of them is human. Every single one of them is OK. I want my kids to always feel safe in sharing their feelings with me, no matter what those feelings are. One of my many roles as their Ima, as I see it, is to give them the emotional space to feel whatever they need to feel in that moment. And to be present with them in whichever way they need me to be. That could mean me giving them a hug. It could mean me just sitting quietly next to them as they pour out their hearts to me. Or it could mean me helping them reach their own conclusions/solutions by just hearing them out. The most important thing is to remain a consistent pillar of strength for my kids. This will allow them to feel like they can fall apart if they need to and Ima will remain their rock.
With Love,
Cigal
As Imas, we hate hearing our little ones cry. We wish we could take away every hard feeling they ever have. We want them to be happy and smiling all the time. But that's not real life. Real life is filled with disappointments, both big and small. There are times when our kids will feel sad, scared, hurt, angry, embarrassed, betrayed and many other feelings that are hard to swallow. As much as it pains us to hear our kids expressing these difficult feelings, every single one of them is human. Every single one of them is OK. I want my kids to always feel safe in sharing their feelings with me, no matter what those feelings are. One of my many roles as their Ima, as I see it, is to give them the emotional space to feel whatever they need to feel in that moment. And to be present with them in whichever way they need me to be. That could mean me giving them a hug. It could mean me just sitting quietly next to them as they pour out their hearts to me. Or it could mean me helping them reach their own conclusions/solutions by just hearing them out. The most important thing is to remain a consistent pillar of strength for my kids. This will allow them to feel like they can fall apart if they need to and Ima will remain their rock.
With Love,
Cigal
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sibling Love
In my opinion, the best gift a parent can give their child is a sibling.
My father was married to another woman before he married my mother. He and his first wife have a daughter who grew up as an only child with her mother in France. My parents got married and had me. No siblings on the scene. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and my mom remarried when I was 11 years old. She and her husband had my younger sister when I was 12. Up until that point, I grew up alone. My older sister and I lived oceans away from one another. I went through my parents' divorce alone. Everything I did at home, I did alone. When my younger sister was born, I was on cloud nine...I felt so blessed to have this precious bundle of joy to care for right there, in my home with me...Because I was so much older, I took on a "little mommy" role, changing her diapers, bathing her, feeding her, rocking her to sleep, singing to her...I loved every minute of it. But I remember always wishing that we were closer in age...
My boy, who's 21 months old, adores his little sister, who's almost 5 months old. Every morning when he wakes up, hers is the first name that comes out of his mouth. Every night before bed, her name is the one that comes out of his mouth before he falls asleep...When he comes home from pre-school, he runs into the house calling her name, wanting to hug and kiss her. When she cries, so does he...He's so empathetic to her...
This past Shabbat, I experienced the most heartwarming moment with my kids. My little girl was in her stroller that faces me and my boy was standing on the stroller facing her. In his own little language, he was talking to her. Suddenly, huge smiles broke out on her lips and on his...It was a special moment, just between them. It was Shabbat so I couldn't capture the moment on camera or video, but the memory will remain close to my heart for a very long time.
I pray that the two of them share their own common language for many, many years to come and that they grow up to become the best of friends. I feel extremely blessed that G-d gave them to Hubby and me. But the blessing goes way beyond that. I feel tremendous joy in knowing that they have been blessed with each other.
With Love,
Cigal
My father was married to another woman before he married my mother. He and his first wife have a daughter who grew up as an only child with her mother in France. My parents got married and had me. No siblings on the scene. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and my mom remarried when I was 11 years old. She and her husband had my younger sister when I was 12. Up until that point, I grew up alone. My older sister and I lived oceans away from one another. I went through my parents' divorce alone. Everything I did at home, I did alone. When my younger sister was born, I was on cloud nine...I felt so blessed to have this precious bundle of joy to care for right there, in my home with me...Because I was so much older, I took on a "little mommy" role, changing her diapers, bathing her, feeding her, rocking her to sleep, singing to her...I loved every minute of it. But I remember always wishing that we were closer in age...
My boy, who's 21 months old, adores his little sister, who's almost 5 months old. Every morning when he wakes up, hers is the first name that comes out of his mouth. Every night before bed, her name is the one that comes out of his mouth before he falls asleep...When he comes home from pre-school, he runs into the house calling her name, wanting to hug and kiss her. When she cries, so does he...He's so empathetic to her...
This past Shabbat, I experienced the most heartwarming moment with my kids. My little girl was in her stroller that faces me and my boy was standing on the stroller facing her. In his own little language, he was talking to her. Suddenly, huge smiles broke out on her lips and on his...It was a special moment, just between them. It was Shabbat so I couldn't capture the moment on camera or video, but the memory will remain close to my heart for a very long time.
I pray that the two of them share their own common language for many, many years to come and that they grow up to become the best of friends. I feel extremely blessed that G-d gave them to Hubby and me. But the blessing goes way beyond that. I feel tremendous joy in knowing that they have been blessed with each other.
With Love,
Cigal
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
The King is in the Field
People may think I'm totally crazy, but Yom Kippur is my favorite holiday.
Yom Kippur , also known as Day of Atonement, is the holiest day of the year for the Jewish people. Its central themes are atonement and repentance. How wonderful is it that every year, a Jew is given the opportunity for a brand new slate ? According to Jewish tradition, G-d inscribes each person's fate for the coming year into a book, The Book of Life, on Rosh Hashana and waits until Yom Kippur to "seal" the verdict. During the Days of Awe( between RH and YK), a Jew is meant to seek forgiveness for wrongs done against God (bein adam leMakom) and against other human beings (bein adam lechavero). The evening and day of Yom Kippur are set aside for public and private petitions and confessions of guilt (vidui). At the end of Yom Kippur, we consider ourselves absolved.
Today is Rosh Chodesh Elul...The first day of Elul. The month of Elul is a time of repentance in preparation for the High Holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Tradition teaches that the month of Elul is a particularly propitious time for repentance. It is said that during this particular month, The King(G-d) is in the Field. This means that He is close by, waiting to hear from His children. This mood of repentance builds through the month of Elul and continues all the way through to Yom Kippur.
Every Elul, beginning on Rosh Chodesh, I take it upon myself to compile a list of areas that I would like to improve in my life and begin putting it into action all the way to Yom Kippur and onwards. I write down names of people I may have offended during the past year and attempt to go back to each person to ask for their forgiveness. As much as I love keeping Shabbat, Kashrut(Keeping Kosher) and Taharat HaMishpacha (The Laws of Family Purity), they mean very little to G-d if I am unkind to my fellow man. Every Elul, I take it upon myself to really think about those times where I may have spoken harshly, acted impatiently, insulted/offended someone, acted insensitively, undermined or embarrassed someone or behaved in a way that G-d would be very disappointed in me for.
Being a relatively new wife and new mama, my main focus of repentance this year will be on my loving, kind, supportive and wonderful husband whose beautiful character traits like seeing the glass half full and judging others favorably, I will constantly strive to emulate. The other strong focus will be on my kids and being a good role model to them.
G-d is near by. He wants to hear from all of His children. He wants to see all of us working to improve our relationships. He wants to see us going that extra mile for our fellow Jew by doing random acts of kindness and helping those in need. He wants us to put our pride and egos aside and ask for forgiveness from those people we've hurt. He wants us to let go and accept apologies from those who have wronged us. Now is our time.
With Love,
Cigal
Yom Kippur , also known as Day of Atonement, is the holiest day of the year for the Jewish people. Its central themes are atonement and repentance. How wonderful is it that every year, a Jew is given the opportunity for a brand new slate ? According to Jewish tradition, G-d inscribes each person's fate for the coming year into a book, The Book of Life, on Rosh Hashana and waits until Yom Kippur to "seal" the verdict. During the Days of Awe( between RH and YK), a Jew is meant to seek forgiveness for wrongs done against God (bein adam leMakom) and against other human beings (bein adam lechavero). The evening and day of Yom Kippur are set aside for public and private petitions and confessions of guilt (vidui). At the end of Yom Kippur, we consider ourselves absolved.
Today is Rosh Chodesh Elul...The first day of Elul. The month of Elul is a time of repentance in preparation for the High Holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Tradition teaches that the month of Elul is a particularly propitious time for repentance. It is said that during this particular month, The King(G-d) is in the Field. This means that He is close by, waiting to hear from His children. This mood of repentance builds through the month of Elul and continues all the way through to Yom Kippur.
Every Elul, beginning on Rosh Chodesh, I take it upon myself to compile a list of areas that I would like to improve in my life and begin putting it into action all the way to Yom Kippur and onwards. I write down names of people I may have offended during the past year and attempt to go back to each person to ask for their forgiveness. As much as I love keeping Shabbat, Kashrut(Keeping Kosher) and Taharat HaMishpacha (The Laws of Family Purity), they mean very little to G-d if I am unkind to my fellow man. Every Elul, I take it upon myself to really think about those times where I may have spoken harshly, acted impatiently, insulted/offended someone, acted insensitively, undermined or embarrassed someone or behaved in a way that G-d would be very disappointed in me for.
Being a relatively new wife and new mama, my main focus of repentance this year will be on my loving, kind, supportive and wonderful husband whose beautiful character traits like seeing the glass half full and judging others favorably, I will constantly strive to emulate. The other strong focus will be on my kids and being a good role model to them.
G-d is near by. He wants to hear from all of His children. He wants to see all of us working to improve our relationships. He wants to see us going that extra mile for our fellow Jew by doing random acts of kindness and helping those in need. He wants us to put our pride and egos aside and ask for forgiveness from those people we've hurt. He wants us to let go and accept apologies from those who have wronged us. Now is our time.
With Love,
Cigal
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
No Regrets
I could have...I should have...I would have...But I didn't.
When I was in high school, I had to work very hard for my grades in math and the sciences. No grade ever came easy. During those years, I dreamed of going to med school to become a pediatrician. One of my science teachers at the time said "Cigal, think of another option for yourself. You'll never make it to med school". Being a young, impressionable and very motivated student, she convinced me that it was useless to even try...
Instead I went on to do a Bachelor of Education, a Masters' in Educational Psychology and a Post Graduate Certificate in Family Systems Therapy. Years later, I thought about that phrase many a time:"You'll never make it to med school". Knowing what I know now, that teacher should have chosen a different career for herself. Educating young and impressionable minds means encouraging...It means pushing them to be the best they can be...It means helping them to achieve their goals and dreams...Sometimes I think that I should have tried to get into med school despite what she said...That I could have made it in with hard work, dedication and commitment...That I would have proven her wrong about my ability to fulfill my dreams...
But then I think about the life I've created for myself and the various stepping stones that brought me to where I am today and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I have been on the exact path that I was made to be on. Some would accuse that teacher of crushing my dreams and causing me to give up my aspirations for nothing. Some would wish that she had been fired and sent to work on a farm instead of in a school. Years ago, I might have agreed with them. I might have had tremendous feelings of resentment and bitterness towards that teacher, but not anymore. Now I just feel sorry for her. Sorry that she couldn't find it in her heart to cheer me on and root for me. Sorry that instead of encouraging me or offering to help me improve my math and science skills, she chose the easier route for herself.
Having taught in a residential treatment center for kids with behavioural and emotional problems, I know what being a teacher really means. It means not just HEARING your students, but really LISTENING to them. Helping them to reach for the stars. Inspiring them to find all the good and wonder that lies within them. Encouraging them to make choices that they can later be proud of and ensuring that once they make those choices, there will be no looking back and no regrets.
I am a strong believer in living a life of no regrets. Regrets are feelings of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different. Why waste my thoughts on what I could have, should have or would have done, when I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing exactly what it is I'm supposed to be doing?
With Love,
Cigal
When I was in high school, I had to work very hard for my grades in math and the sciences. No grade ever came easy. During those years, I dreamed of going to med school to become a pediatrician. One of my science teachers at the time said "Cigal, think of another option for yourself. You'll never make it to med school". Being a young, impressionable and very motivated student, she convinced me that it was useless to even try...
Instead I went on to do a Bachelor of Education, a Masters' in Educational Psychology and a Post Graduate Certificate in Family Systems Therapy. Years later, I thought about that phrase many a time:"You'll never make it to med school". Knowing what I know now, that teacher should have chosen a different career for herself. Educating young and impressionable minds means encouraging...It means pushing them to be the best they can be...It means helping them to achieve their goals and dreams...Sometimes I think that I should have tried to get into med school despite what she said...That I could have made it in with hard work, dedication and commitment...That I would have proven her wrong about my ability to fulfill my dreams...
But then I think about the life I've created for myself and the various stepping stones that brought me to where I am today and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I have been on the exact path that I was made to be on. Some would accuse that teacher of crushing my dreams and causing me to give up my aspirations for nothing. Some would wish that she had been fired and sent to work on a farm instead of in a school. Years ago, I might have agreed with them. I might have had tremendous feelings of resentment and bitterness towards that teacher, but not anymore. Now I just feel sorry for her. Sorry that she couldn't find it in her heart to cheer me on and root for me. Sorry that instead of encouraging me or offering to help me improve my math and science skills, she chose the easier route for herself.
Having taught in a residential treatment center for kids with behavioural and emotional problems, I know what being a teacher really means. It means not just HEARING your students, but really LISTENING to them. Helping them to reach for the stars. Inspiring them to find all the good and wonder that lies within them. Encouraging them to make choices that they can later be proud of and ensuring that once they make those choices, there will be no looking back and no regrets.
I am a strong believer in living a life of no regrets. Regrets are feelings of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different. Why waste my thoughts on what I could have, should have or would have done, when I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing exactly what it is I'm supposed to be doing?
With Love,
Cigal
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Kids are people, too
This used to be my favorite line for my father when I was a little girl. It was as though I was trying to make my voice heard while attempting to assert myself and my place in this world.
These past two weeks, through her inconsolable tears, I feel like my baby girl was trying to put out this very same message.
The sweet little darling had been nursing beautifully for the last 3 months and suddenly, two and a half weeks ago, there was a big shift in her eating patterns, which led to a downward spiral. My supply began going down, she was getting frustrated when trying to eat which then led to long and painful days filled with lots of frustration for her, for our little boy who had to hear it for hours and for me, who couldn't figure out what the heck had happened or why.
Thank G-d for a wonderful lactation consultant and a very experienced post partum doula, my eyes were opened up yesterday as to what was really going on.
Late at night when the lights are out, when the whole apartment is quiet, she and I have our real bonding time. That is a time that she and I both enjoy, as there are no distractions...No ringing phone, no super energetic and precocious little toddler running around, no laundry or dishes to be done. It's just us. Same thing in the very early hours of the morning. That is when nursing remains a most intimate and special time for her with her ima.
But just like grown ups, kids develop preferences. They develop their own personal tastes and their own little personalities. Maybe my little girl has decided that during the day, I'm too distracted for her and she just wants to eat quickly so that my focus remains just on her, at least while she eats. Maybe the fact that the bottle flow is much faster than mine relaxes her. Maybe she just prefers eating through a bottle, whether it be mommy milk or formula.
I am a big fan of breastfeeding for at least a year for many reasons. One reason is the tremendous health benefits that breast milk offers. Another reason is the beautiful intimate bonding opportunities that it offers Mamas and their babies. But here I have it. An opportunity for me to pick and choose my battles with one of my children, a very important rule of good parenting. I will definitely continue to try encouraging her to nurse more than just at night and for her first morning feed. I will pump and use all the natural herbs known to man to help me increase my milk supply. But at the end of the day, I will allow and even encourage my little girl to choose how she wants to eat. I will encourage her to choose the way she feels most relaxed. I will encourage her to choose the way she feels the most satisfied at the end of the feed. If she cries at the breast, I will have a bottle of either pumped milk or formula right next to me so that she remains calm and stops associating eating with aggravation.
My little girl is, after all, her own little person. I can have a feeding agenda of my own, but if it doesn't work for her, it's plain and simple. IT JUST WON'T WORK. And so with a lot of love, patience and flexibility, I pray that she and I continue to find our special intimate bonding moments at various times during the day.
It's all about being flexible and letting go of my own agenda. Thank G-d, she has a strong voice and will guide me down the best path for her.
With Love,
Cigal
These past two weeks, through her inconsolable tears, I feel like my baby girl was trying to put out this very same message.
The sweet little darling had been nursing beautifully for the last 3 months and suddenly, two and a half weeks ago, there was a big shift in her eating patterns, which led to a downward spiral. My supply began going down, she was getting frustrated when trying to eat which then led to long and painful days filled with lots of frustration for her, for our little boy who had to hear it for hours and for me, who couldn't figure out what the heck had happened or why.
Thank G-d for a wonderful lactation consultant and a very experienced post partum doula, my eyes were opened up yesterday as to what was really going on.
Late at night when the lights are out, when the whole apartment is quiet, she and I have our real bonding time. That is a time that she and I both enjoy, as there are no distractions...No ringing phone, no super energetic and precocious little toddler running around, no laundry or dishes to be done. It's just us. Same thing in the very early hours of the morning. That is when nursing remains a most intimate and special time for her with her ima.
But just like grown ups, kids develop preferences. They develop their own personal tastes and their own little personalities. Maybe my little girl has decided that during the day, I'm too distracted for her and she just wants to eat quickly so that my focus remains just on her, at least while she eats. Maybe the fact that the bottle flow is much faster than mine relaxes her. Maybe she just prefers eating through a bottle, whether it be mommy milk or formula.
I am a big fan of breastfeeding for at least a year for many reasons. One reason is the tremendous health benefits that breast milk offers. Another reason is the beautiful intimate bonding opportunities that it offers Mamas and their babies. But here I have it. An opportunity for me to pick and choose my battles with one of my children, a very important rule of good parenting. I will definitely continue to try encouraging her to nurse more than just at night and for her first morning feed. I will pump and use all the natural herbs known to man to help me increase my milk supply. But at the end of the day, I will allow and even encourage my little girl to choose how she wants to eat. I will encourage her to choose the way she feels most relaxed. I will encourage her to choose the way she feels the most satisfied at the end of the feed. If she cries at the breast, I will have a bottle of either pumped milk or formula right next to me so that she remains calm and stops associating eating with aggravation.
My little girl is, after all, her own little person. I can have a feeding agenda of my own, but if it doesn't work for her, it's plain and simple. IT JUST WON'T WORK. And so with a lot of love, patience and flexibility, I pray that she and I continue to find our special intimate bonding moments at various times during the day.
It's all about being flexible and letting go of my own agenda. Thank G-d, she has a strong voice and will guide me down the best path for her.
With Love,
Cigal
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Life's simple pleasures
Yesterday was a boiling hot day. So hot, that it was better to remain indoors.
Staying indoors all day with a 3 month old and an active 19 month old can be challenging, especially if they're on different schedules. Generally, the little ones go down for their afternoon naps at the same time, which provides their mama with some time to chill and take a load off. Whether it means time to nap, do some cleaning/cooking or being inspired to sit and write a blog entry, their nap time is just as important to mama as it is to them.
No such luck yesterday. I put them both down and could hear the little guy having animated conversations with his stuffed animals. I love standing near the closed door of his room and listening in...How I wish I understood his very own little language...Then I'd know what he was telling his furry little friends...
After some animated conversation, he started getting antsy. "I'll let him stay there for 15 more minutes", I told myself "and if he's still antsy, I'll take him out of bed". Fifteen minutes later, he was sounding more than ready to put an end to his conversation and come out to play.
"What should I do with my sweet little boy right now?" How can I provide for a really fun activity while his little sister is still in lalaland?", I asked myself....I thought for a couple of minutes and...Ahhh....The lightbulb went on! Or as we say here in Israel, "Nafal Ha"Aseemon".Before going to get him, I put on my bathing suit, filled up our tub with cool water, bubbles and his favorite bath toys. Then I went to get him from his room and brought him into our indoor "swimming pool". In we went. He was in heaven. We both were. He had the time of his life soaking his Ima (and flooding the entire bathroom floor) and his Ima enjoyed every second of his joy and laughter, even though it meant no "chill time"...
Sometimes life's simple pleasures, like experiencing the musical sounds of our little ones' unadulterated laughter beats any ol' nap, load of laundry or "feet up on the couch".
With Love,
Cigal
Staying indoors all day with a 3 month old and an active 19 month old can be challenging, especially if they're on different schedules. Generally, the little ones go down for their afternoon naps at the same time, which provides their mama with some time to chill and take a load off. Whether it means time to nap, do some cleaning/cooking or being inspired to sit and write a blog entry, their nap time is just as important to mama as it is to them.
No such luck yesterday. I put them both down and could hear the little guy having animated conversations with his stuffed animals. I love standing near the closed door of his room and listening in...How I wish I understood his very own little language...Then I'd know what he was telling his furry little friends...
After some animated conversation, he started getting antsy. "I'll let him stay there for 15 more minutes", I told myself "and if he's still antsy, I'll take him out of bed". Fifteen minutes later, he was sounding more than ready to put an end to his conversation and come out to play.
"What should I do with my sweet little boy right now?" How can I provide for a really fun activity while his little sister is still in lalaland?", I asked myself....I thought for a couple of minutes and...Ahhh....The lightbulb went on! Or as we say here in Israel, "Nafal Ha"Aseemon".Before going to get him, I put on my bathing suit, filled up our tub with cool water, bubbles and his favorite bath toys. Then I went to get him from his room and brought him into our indoor "swimming pool". In we went. He was in heaven. We both were. He had the time of his life soaking his Ima (and flooding the entire bathroom floor) and his Ima enjoyed every second of his joy and laughter, even though it meant no "chill time"...
Sometimes life's simple pleasures, like experiencing the musical sounds of our little ones' unadulterated laughter beats any ol' nap, load of laundry or "feet up on the couch".
With Love,
Cigal
Thursday, August 4, 2011
In the Moment
Sometimes, the moment we're in is one we wish would end instantly, like the blink of an eye. Other times, that moment is one we wish would last a lifetime...
Like tonight when both my little ones were crying for their mama at the same time...That is a moment (or an hour...or two) that I wish would end instantly. Or when one of them is hurting...I wish the pain would end right then and there. When I was going through the agony of my divorce, I remember begging G-d to make the heart ache stop as soon as possible, saying that I wish I had a magic wand that would make it all disappear...
And then there are those moments that we wish would never end...Like standing under the chuppah (wedding canopy) with your new spouse...Or going away on a spontaneous vacation, when nobody knows where you are. When your toddler hugs you tight, or as you hold your baby, she/he stares at you straight in the eyes, as though the two of you are the only ones in the entire world...
It's so much easier to be "in the moment" when we want to be there...And it can be so incredibly difficult to be "in the moment" when it hurts.
But more often than not, there is a silver lining to be found in that painful moment. Something important to be learned. Some kind of epiphany to be had. Something life changing that comes about from just allowing ourselves to "be in the moment".
I am a big believer in "sitting with the pain" rather than trying to escape it. If I am here, it's EXACTLY where I am supposed to be at this moment. What am I going to take away from it? What am I going to learn in order to be able to move past this painful place I am in?
G-d provides us with hundreds, if not thousands of opportunities, throughout our lifetimes to grow and to improve ourselves...To become better, more self-aware and more thoughtful people. It is up to us entirely to decide whether to take those opportunities and run with them or to remain in a state of denial and lying to ourselves...
When the busy lives we all lead quiet down, even just for a little while...When all there is, is us and the pain, that is the moment of truth. That is when we can reach deep within ourselves, take a hard and truthful look at the mirror and begin the journey back to the most important place there is...The real me...The real YOU.
Even being "in the moment" with the tears of our children is meant to teach us valuable lessons...Lessons that will in turn, allow us to become the best mothers and fathers we can be to our little ones...
With Love,
Cigal
Like tonight when both my little ones were crying for their mama at the same time...That is a moment (or an hour...or two) that I wish would end instantly. Or when one of them is hurting...I wish the pain would end right then and there. When I was going through the agony of my divorce, I remember begging G-d to make the heart ache stop as soon as possible, saying that I wish I had a magic wand that would make it all disappear...
And then there are those moments that we wish would never end...Like standing under the chuppah (wedding canopy) with your new spouse...Or going away on a spontaneous vacation, when nobody knows where you are. When your toddler hugs you tight, or as you hold your baby, she/he stares at you straight in the eyes, as though the two of you are the only ones in the entire world...
It's so much easier to be "in the moment" when we want to be there...And it can be so incredibly difficult to be "in the moment" when it hurts.
But more often than not, there is a silver lining to be found in that painful moment. Something important to be learned. Some kind of epiphany to be had. Something life changing that comes about from just allowing ourselves to "be in the moment".
I am a big believer in "sitting with the pain" rather than trying to escape it. If I am here, it's EXACTLY where I am supposed to be at this moment. What am I going to take away from it? What am I going to learn in order to be able to move past this painful place I am in?
G-d provides us with hundreds, if not thousands of opportunities, throughout our lifetimes to grow and to improve ourselves...To become better, more self-aware and more thoughtful people. It is up to us entirely to decide whether to take those opportunities and run with them or to remain in a state of denial and lying to ourselves...
When the busy lives we all lead quiet down, even just for a little while...When all there is, is us and the pain, that is the moment of truth. That is when we can reach deep within ourselves, take a hard and truthful look at the mirror and begin the journey back to the most important place there is...The real me...The real YOU.
Even being "in the moment" with the tears of our children is meant to teach us valuable lessons...Lessons that will in turn, allow us to become the best mothers and fathers we can be to our little ones...
With Love,
Cigal
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
It's All For The Best
"No" is a difficult word to hear. It's often also a very difficult word to say.
When we ask someone for something and their answer is "no", often times we feel hurt, disappointed and maybe even a little angry or resentful. When someone asks us for a favor, sometimes we say "yes", even though we really wanted to say no and other times, we may say "no" and be filled with feelings of guilt and remorse, as though saying "no" made us bad people.
When we discipline our kids, we say "no" to more sweets if we think they'd had enough that day. We say "no" if our child wants to play on the computer before he/she has completed homework. We say "no" to our teenager who wants to take the car overnight, when he/she is a brand new driver; we would like to see him/her practice driving more before allowing him/her to take the car for so many hours. Sometimes our kids show us that we need to be more flexible and that "no" doesn't need to be" no forever", but "no for now". Sometimes our kids come up with valid arguments that make us reconsider and say "yes". Sometimes they think we hate them. Other times, they think they hate us. Sometimes, tough love is the way to go. Sometimes, simple words of encouragement and a big hug are the best answer.
I believe that G-d works the same way. Our Father in Heaven loves each and every one of us, just like a parent loves their child.Sometimes, we beg and plead with G-d for various things and we don't get them. In dark times, we might think He hates us. We might think we hate Him. We might wonder why He never answers us; why when we behave so nicely, trying to be good people, well behaved, kind to others around us, we still don't get what we've been asking for...
Both of our kids were born tongue tied (with short frenulums). Right as we left the hospital after each birth, we brought each child to an expert who clipped their frenulums. For each child, we were required to do tongue exercises for the week that followed, which would open and re-open the wound, causing more pain to our sweet and innocent newborn babies. As parents, it was heart wrenching to do these exercises, knowing that we were causing additional pain to our children(clipping the frenulums felt like MORE than enough pain to inflict on the poor little darlings...). But then, one night, after doing the exercises with our baby girl, Hubby said a line that stuck with me and will likely stick for years to come. He told our baby girl:" Remember, Honey, we're not doing this TO you...We're doing it FOR you". (So that you can nurse more efficiently, thrive more, be on target developmentally, etc)...It's all for the best.
I can imagine that when G-d gives us trials and tribulations to face and overcome, as much as they hurt us and cause us pain and suffering, G-d feels our pain and He hurts, too. No parent likes seeing their child suffer.
Our sweet and innocent babies' cries pierced right into Hubby's and my heart and we hated every minute of those tongue exercises, but we got through them by reminding ourselves that although they were hurting and suffering at that moment, it would all turn out for the best in the long run, which it did, Thank G-d. Both kids were able to latch on like champions and reap the tremendous rewards of breastfeeding. Our baby girl continues to reap those rewards on a daily/nightly basis.
G-d doesn't give pain and heartache TO us. He gives it FOR us. So that we can grow. So that we can become better and stronger people. Everything He does is for the best.
With Love,
Cigal
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Age is just a number
I feel like I've celebrated my 30th birthday 9 times.
Wherever I go and whomever I meet, people always chop a few years off my age when I ask them to guess how old I am. When I was 18 and people thought I was 14, I hated it. When I was 21 and people thought I was 16, it annoyed me.When I was 25 and people thought I was 18, I wished I could look older...Now I love that no one can ever guess my real age...
Today I took the kids to gymboree at the community center down the street. It's a perfect opportunity for my sweet, energetic and precocious little boy to use up some of his boundless energy. My little girl typically sleeps in the stroller while I watch the little guy climb, roll, run around and have the time of his life.
It's also a great opportunity for moms to meet up and shoot the breeze for an hour plus.
Today, I found myself shooting the breeze with a couple of mamas when the subject of age came up (it was one of the mamas' birthdays). In my typical fashion, when asked how old I am, I asked them to guess. The guess was 32. My first response was: "Wow, can I hug you?". When I told them my age(39), they were shocked. So much so, that in unison, all I could hear was "Shut up! No way! You're lying!". To think that twenty years ago, that response would have been insulting...Both women went on to say that I look and act so much younger...
In 1999, I married my high school sweetheart. During our marriage, I started to feel a strong pull towards being observant( I didn't grow up religious). It became clear very early on, that if I wanted to go on that kind of spiritual journey, I was on my own. My husband had no interest in joining me. Each one of us tried compromising, but after some time, we admitted the painful truth: that we weren't making compromises, but rather we were COMPROMISING who we each were as people. After two very painful years of trying to square a circle, we decided that we needed to let each other go. And we did.The end of my first marriage was the beginning of me finding the true calling of my heart and soul...A life of committed and passionate Judaism. A life of TRUTH.
I went to Jewish day schools from my elementary years all the way through high school, so I had a good baseline to start from. In elementary school, they had taught us how to pray, so when I started praying every day, all the tunes and melodies I had learned as a child came back to me in a hurry...It was as though they were all stored in a safe place deep within my soul, just waiting for the spark to be ignited. In 2004, equipped with the belief and the knowledge that the only real home for a Jew is Israel, I got on a plane, left my very comfortable life in Vancouver and made Aliyah (moved to Israel). Three and a half years later, when I was almost 37, I met my husband, a sweet and kind FFB(FrummieFromBirth: he grew up in a religious home). On Aug 11, 2008, exactly 4 years TO THE DAY since I had made Aliyah, I married my soul mate. The man who is the father of my two precious babies. The man who values the Truth as much as I do. The man whose ideals and values are so much in sync with mine...
August is a busy month. It'll be seven years since I made Aliyah. Three years since I married Hubby. And on August 9th, although I truly feel like my life began when I married my husband, I will be turning forty. WOW. It's hard to even SAY that number.
I have a one and a half year old and a three month old. I don't feel a day older than 30. I feel young. I feel like G-d blesses me with tremendous strength and a lot of youthfulness on a daily basis. I truly believe that attitude and outlook are the key ingredients for how old we appear to the world around us.
After all, age really is just a number.
With Love,
Cigal
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Third Temple
Today is the 17th of Tammuz, a fast day, and the beginning of three weeks of mourning for the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. It is is said the Second Temple was destroyed by Sinat Chinam, senseless hatred between Jews.
Our Sages tell us that any generation that the Temple was not rebuilt in must be guilty of the same sins that caused it to be destroyed in the first place. That makes me very sad. It means that the Jewish people continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, and that we still do not merit our Third Temple, something we've all longed for and prayed for, for thousands of years...
Our Sages tell us that any generation that the Temple was not rebuilt in must be guilty of the same sins that caused it to be destroyed in the first place. That makes me very sad. It means that the Jewish people continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, and that we still do not merit our Third Temple, something we've all longed for and prayed for, for thousands of years...
We need to wake up and learn from our mistakes! We need to turn that senseless hatred into Ahavat Chinam, senseless love! We need to show more compassion, caring and patience for our fellow Jews. We need to look for ways to help a fellow Jew in pain, to encourage and support him/her with our words and our actions.We need to seek out opportunities to do kind deeds for a fellow Jew. To forgive a fellow Jew who did us wrong. To ask for forgiveness of those we've wronged. To be very careful about our speech(ie. stop the gossip and the slander). Each and every one of us has a contribution to make. We are all part of Klal Yisrael and who knows which one of us will tip the scale in the Heavens, making G-d decide that we are FINALLY ready...That the time has come and that we FINALLY merit the Third Temple.
Monday, July 18, 2011
The Glass is Half Full
I have a blessed life, thank G-d.
I live in MY country...The land that G-d gave me and my people. I have a loving husband who would do anything for me and two beautiful precious babies who fill my life with joy, laughter and challenges that make me a stronger and better person when I overcome them.
Sometimes, after a long day with the kids, unfortunately, I can lose sight of just how incredibly blessed I am. Instead of remembering the outpouring of blessings that I'm surrounded by, I'm focused on the fact that all my close friends with babies live too far away.That I can't see them on a regular basis, as we don't have a car. That shlepping two babies on public transportation by myself gives me the heebie jeebies. I'm focused on the small apartment we live in where my big boy has very little room to roam and explore in. I'm focused on the fact that he hardly ate anything that day. Or that my baby girl cried a lot. Or that the kids hardly napped. I'm focused on the fact that Hubby slept through the night and I haven't done that since before I was pregnant with our first.
Being a wife and an Ima are both TREMENDOUS brachot( blessings). Every minute of every day, I am given opportunities to grow and improve as both a wife and as an Ima. Sometimes I grab those opportunities and succeed, while other times I fail miserably. I guess it's all part of learning how to balance a relatively new marriage ( three years on Aug 11th) and two babies under the age of 1 1/2.
So after a long day with the kids, instead of focusing on the fact that all my close friends with babies live far away, I am slowly working on developing friendships with women with babies who live within walking distance. Instead of focusing on the small apartment we live in, where my big boy has very little room to roam and explore in, I am grateful that we can provide our kids with lots of toys and activities to keep them busy and I look for opportunities to take them out to the park in order to roam free. So what if my boy hardly ate that day? He obviously wasn't hungry. He's very expressive and great at letting his Ima know what he wants or doesn't want. If he was hungry, he would have eaten. So, my baby girl cried a lot. Okay. She just wants her Ima to hold her, caress her and tell her she's loved. So, Hubby slept through the night again. Lucky him. He's blessed with the ability to zone the world out and get a restful sleep. I could really learn from him...
One of G-d's many missions for me is to work on and improve my Hakarat HaTov( gratitude). To look at my life EXACTLY as it is and to be grateful for all of it. Hubby is a champion of Hakarat HaTov...If there were a medal for it, he'd win First Place over everyone I know. He expresses gratitude on a daily basis for even the smallest of things (like that I washed his undershirts...Or that I changed the sheets on our bed). If I bought a sweet watermelon, he is thankful. If someone gave him a ride from the train, he's filled with gratitude. "Thank you" just rolls off his smiling lips with so much ease... I have so much to learn from him in this department...
It's all a matter of perspective. One can focus on all the things lacking in their lives or on all the abundance of blessings that surround them.
I choose to view my glass as half full and I thank G-d that I married the perfect man to help me improve that quality.
With Love,
Cigal
I live in MY country...The land that G-d gave me and my people. I have a loving husband who would do anything for me and two beautiful precious babies who fill my life with joy, laughter and challenges that make me a stronger and better person when I overcome them.
Sometimes, after a long day with the kids, unfortunately, I can lose sight of just how incredibly blessed I am. Instead of remembering the outpouring of blessings that I'm surrounded by, I'm focused on the fact that all my close friends with babies live too far away.That I can't see them on a regular basis, as we don't have a car. That shlepping two babies on public transportation by myself gives me the heebie jeebies. I'm focused on the small apartment we live in where my big boy has very little room to roam and explore in. I'm focused on the fact that he hardly ate anything that day. Or that my baby girl cried a lot. Or that the kids hardly napped. I'm focused on the fact that Hubby slept through the night and I haven't done that since before I was pregnant with our first.
Being a wife and an Ima are both TREMENDOUS brachot( blessings). Every minute of every day, I am given opportunities to grow and improve as both a wife and as an Ima. Sometimes I grab those opportunities and succeed, while other times I fail miserably. I guess it's all part of learning how to balance a relatively new marriage ( three years on Aug 11th) and two babies under the age of 1 1/2.
So after a long day with the kids, instead of focusing on the fact that all my close friends with babies live far away, I am slowly working on developing friendships with women with babies who live within walking distance. Instead of focusing on the small apartment we live in, where my big boy has very little room to roam and explore in, I am grateful that we can provide our kids with lots of toys and activities to keep them busy and I look for opportunities to take them out to the park in order to roam free. So what if my boy hardly ate that day? He obviously wasn't hungry. He's very expressive and great at letting his Ima know what he wants or doesn't want. If he was hungry, he would have eaten. So, my baby girl cried a lot. Okay. She just wants her Ima to hold her, caress her and tell her she's loved. So, Hubby slept through the night again. Lucky him. He's blessed with the ability to zone the world out and get a restful sleep. I could really learn from him...
One of G-d's many missions for me is to work on and improve my Hakarat HaTov( gratitude). To look at my life EXACTLY as it is and to be grateful for all of it. Hubby is a champion of Hakarat HaTov...If there were a medal for it, he'd win First Place over everyone I know. He expresses gratitude on a daily basis for even the smallest of things (like that I washed his undershirts...Or that I changed the sheets on our bed). If I bought a sweet watermelon, he is thankful. If someone gave him a ride from the train, he's filled with gratitude. "Thank you" just rolls off his smiling lips with so much ease... I have so much to learn from him in this department...
It's all a matter of perspective. One can focus on all the things lacking in their lives or on all the abundance of blessings that surround them.
I choose to view my glass as half full and I thank G-d that I married the perfect man to help me improve that quality.
With Love,
Cigal
Sunday, July 17, 2011
G-d's Hand
There are things in this world that we will never understand...Like why children get terminal illnesses and die at young ages...Like why a sweet and innocent child like Leiby Kletzky, Z"L, is the victim of an incomprehensible and gruesome murder...Like why the Holocaust happened and destroyed the lives of millions...Like why some people wait many years for their other half to appear and why others find him/her at a young age...Like why some people are blessed with children while others continually pray for children that never come...
Only G-d knows why. And He has His reasons that we can't (and shouldn't even attempt) to understand. As a believer and as someone who has experienced quite a few trials and tribulations myself, I can say that from my darkest places came my brightest rays of light. When we are wandering in the darkness, feeling lost and like no one is listening to our anguished prayers, it can often feel like there is no light up ahead. But just as G-d created darkness, He also created light...
Hubby and I share a favorite dvar Torah about when G-d was talking to Moses on Mt. Sinai. Hashem told him "You will never see My face, but you will always see My back"....When we are in the middle of a storm, when our lives seem to be falling apart, we don't see G-d. We only see the pain, the heartache, the tragedy...It's only after the storm subsides that we can see G-d's Hand in everything that's happened to us and only then do we realize that as painful as it was, ultimately, G-d had our best interests at heart right from the very beginning...
I feel tremendously blessed to have witnessed many revealed miracles in my life...Miracles where it was SO clear and obvious to me that G-d had orchestrated every single step and that I was EXACTLY where I was supposed to be at the EXACT time I was supposed to be there.
May you all experience revealed miracles on a daily basis...
With Love,
Cigal
Only G-d knows why. And He has His reasons that we can't (and shouldn't even attempt) to understand. As a believer and as someone who has experienced quite a few trials and tribulations myself, I can say that from my darkest places came my brightest rays of light. When we are wandering in the darkness, feeling lost and like no one is listening to our anguished prayers, it can often feel like there is no light up ahead. But just as G-d created darkness, He also created light...
Hubby and I share a favorite dvar Torah about when G-d was talking to Moses on Mt. Sinai. Hashem told him "You will never see My face, but you will always see My back"....When we are in the middle of a storm, when our lives seem to be falling apart, we don't see G-d. We only see the pain, the heartache, the tragedy...It's only after the storm subsides that we can see G-d's Hand in everything that's happened to us and only then do we realize that as painful as it was, ultimately, G-d had our best interests at heart right from the very beginning...
I feel tremendously blessed to have witnessed many revealed miracles in my life...Miracles where it was SO clear and obvious to me that G-d had orchestrated every single step and that I was EXACTLY where I was supposed to be at the EXACT time I was supposed to be there.
May you all experience revealed miracles on a daily basis...
With Love,
Cigal
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
The Reflection in the Water
I am a big fan of Sefer Mishlei, The Book of Proverbs. I owe that to a very special teacher of mine at Darche Noam's Midreshet Rachel V'Chaya Seminary in Jerusalem. My favorite quote is in Mishlei 27:19, "K'Mayim Panim El Panim, Ken Lev Adam L'Adam...As water reflects a face back to a face, so one's heart is reflected back to him by another". When we look into a pond, what would we like to see reflected back at us? A smile or a frown? Obviously a smile...
I always try to make sure that the expression on my face be one that I'd want reflected back at me by someone else. If I have a sad, grumpy or angry face, that is the face that I reflect to my husband, my children and any other person I come in contact with.
Sometimes it's hard to put a smile on...If I just got treated unkindly by an impatient bank teller, or a grumpy cab driver just yelled at me, my first instinct would be to respond in kind. To be unkind and impatient back. To yell back. But then what would that solve? No one wins in that scenario...
Imagine a different and much more productive scenario. Imagine I took the high road and said to the bank teller: "Wow, you must be having a really hard day today...People must be driving you crazy with questions and demands"... Imagine that when the cab driver yelled at me, I responded with" You have a really hard job, driving people all over the place in this crazy heat...I bet you get some very difficult passengers in here...".
In scenario one, everyone leaves with a bad feeling. In scenario two, I diffuse what could have turned into two very unpleasant interactions. G-d willing, I might even manage to evoke some positive feelings both from the bank teller and from the cab driver.
If I smile and treat people with warmth, love and respect even when it feels very difficult to do so (ie. they're being rude, offensive, unkind, etc),there's a really good chance that my attitude will put a stop to their negative spiraling behaviours.
Give it a try, dear readers. Next time someone is rude or impatient with you, take them by surprise and empathize with them about their hard day/hard job. Show them warmth, love and respect. They won't expect this type of response from you, but when they get it, I can almost guarantee an almost instantaneous shift in their attitude.
Your warm, loving and respectful heart will be reflected right back at you.
With Love,
Cigal
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Forgive and be forgiven
I hate conflict. And I mean HATE. It makes my stomach turn and causes me to lose sleep at night. For example, Hubby and I never go to sleep angry at eachother and if there's something we're unhappy about, we talk about it face to face...NEVER on the phone. I think we have this part of our relationship down pat. We've obviously got lots to learn, as we've only been married 3 years (this august) but our communication is definitely off to a good start.
I am also a true believer and advocate for forgiveness. Sometimes we have a disagreement with a sibling, a parent, a close friend,or a spouse and things are said in the heat of the moment. Both sides are hurt. Both egos are bruised. Sometimes these disagreements are based on years and years of built up anger and resentment. Or on feelings that were never openly discussed or were swept under the rug.Sometimes it's all based on a misunderstanding. And sometimes, in the midst of all the anger, lies a feeling of wistfulness, a wish that things hadn't gone so far...And that if only the other person would try handing out an olive branch, I might consider forgiving them.
G-d teaches us to love peace and chase it...To be Ohev Shalom v'Rodef Shalom. I try very hard to live my life that way. I have had my share of disagreements with friends and family. And like I said at the beginning of this post, I HATE conflict. In times of conflict, especially when it involves a person I love and care about, I will always stop and ask myself: "What have I said and/or done to contribute to this very painful and difficult conflict I am in right now?". I will always come up with something. Maybe I was unclear in my communication. Maybe I showed a lack of hakarat ha'tov (appreciation). Maybe I said or did something thoughtless and/or insensitive...The list of possible contributions can go on and on. The important thing, I think, is showing empathy. Putting myself in the other person's shoes and asking myself : If I were them, how would I be feeling right now, with everything that's been said and done?
Sometimes, we can offer an olive branch and be rejected.That can really hurt, but then at least you know you tried to remove the ill feelings that continue to grow between you and another person. Sometimes we offer that olive branch more than once and continue to be rejected. From a Torah perspective, we are required to ask for forgiveness three times before we're off the hook from trying to fix the relationship.
The biggest intruder, that in my opinion, has NO place in human relationships, is EGO. Ego can destroy so many potentially beautiful friendships and relationships...I would have to agree with Elton John here, that "Sorry seems to be the hardest word"....But the hardest things in life offer us the most chance for personal growth and for becoming exceptional people. I am a BIG believer in the word "SORRY". Forgiveness is the biggest gift one can give and receive from another person.
My dear readers, if there is someone in your life whom you have loved and cherished in the depths of your heart at some point in your life, someone whom you feel did you wrong, someone whom you feel has hurt you very deeply, try to imagine what it would feel like to let go of all those painful feelings of hurt, anger and resentment, and replacing them with forgiveness. Imagine recognizing that no one is perfect.; that we all make mistakes and that sometimes, unfortunately, we hurt the ones we love the most. Holding on to hurt, anger and resentment only hurts US in the long run. Sometimes these negative feelings develop a life and a power of their own and we have to think back really hard about what the actual catalyst was.
Don't be afraid to ask for forgiveness. Don't be afraid to share what your hurt feelings are about. Leave your ego at the door. This won't mean that you're weak or a pushover. It'll mean exactly the opposite. You are a strong person who no longer wants to carry the heavy burden of anger on your shoulders. You are brave. You are courageous. And you would much rather rebuild that loving relationship/friendship that went by the wayside, than allowing it to be consumed by anger, hurt and resentment.
Forgive and be forgiven.
With Love,
Cigal
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
A Partner with G-d
Today was probably THE HARDEST day since our baby girl was born two months ago. Early this am, the kids and I went to Tipat Chalav( a child development/medical center) to get my baby girl an immunization. I was told that it that was going to hurt, but that it wouldn't have any side effects. WRONG. My baby girl was completely hysterical,inconsolable, unreachable. No amount of rocking, kissing, hugging, nursing could soothe her. She was actually even too upset to nurse.
This was EXTREMELY difficult for our little boy, as he's only a year and a half old and really needs his Ima's attention, too. In the beginning, he accepted that it wasn't his turn for attention, but when her cries kept continuing on and on, he started to feel upset, too.I gave him a big hug and kiss and said: "Ima is SO proud of you, my little Mitzvah Boy. You have been SO patient all morning. I'm so sorry that we didn't get to spend much quality time together. I'm gonna make you a bottle and you can go have a shluffy. Hopefully things will be much calmer when you wake up". Thank G-d he accepted this and is now sleeping soundly like a little angel.
This was EXTREMELY difficult for our little boy, as he's only a year and a half old and really needs his Ima's attention, too. In the beginning, he accepted that it wasn't his turn for attention, but when her cries kept continuing on and on, he started to feel upset, too.I gave him a big hug and kiss and said: "Ima is SO proud of you, my little Mitzvah Boy. You have been SO patient all morning. I'm so sorry that we didn't get to spend much quality time together. I'm gonna make you a bottle and you can go have a shluffy. Hopefully things will be much calmer when you wake up". Thank G-d he accepted this and is now sleeping soundly like a little angel.
Meanwhile, I began to feel my frustration levels rising higher and higher with my little girl. "Why won't you stop crying already? I changed your diaper, gave you a warm bath, gave you a pain killer, held you close, sang to you, kissed you...What more can I do for you?", I asked her (as if she can answer me)...And then suddenly, it struck me. G-d was talking to me through my baby girl, telling me to just let go and trust that this too, shall pass. Finally, she calmed down enough to allow me to nurse her and while I was nursing, I found myself singing a psalm, Mizmor L'David, to her, in my softest and sweetest voice possible.
At that moment, I felt like G-d was in the room with us and that both she and I were being soothed by His presence. It was then that the idea of being a partner with G-d really rang true in my ears. Together with G-d, I was able to find the strength and the patience to soothe both my babies and allow them to fall asleep ever so peacefully like two little angels.
At that moment, I felt like G-d was in the room with us and that both she and I were being soothed by His presence. It was then that the idea of being a partner with G-d really rang true in my ears. Together with G-d, I was able to find the strength and the patience to soothe both my babies and allow them to fall asleep ever so peacefully like two little angels.
With Love,
Cigal
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Worth a million bucks
In my opinion, a smile and a "good morning" can completely change the balance of the universe for the good.
Even before I became an Ima, I always valued the importance of a smile in order to make someone else's day even just a little bit brighter. We're talking a big smile and a "boker tov" to the street cleaner, or a big smile and a "good afternoon" to the bank teller, the cashier at the grocery store or the irritable cab driver.
We've all had bad days. We've all been in the middle of one of those days, wishing we could just crawl into bed and hide under the covers.
We live in a small city, that kind of has a yishuv, a small settlement, feel to it. There's a strong sense of community. I have a friendly relationship with all of the cashiers at the supermarket near my house. We always engage in friendly chatter when I'm at their cash. Last week, I noticed that one of the cashiers, a sweet and lovely young woman, had tear stained cheeks and red eyes. The kids and I weren't in line at her cash, but I smiled at her from where I was standing and she gave a forced smile back. The next day, Erev Shabbat, I was there with Hubby and the kids and this time, we were in line at her cash. She looked very upset again(or still). I looked at her and said" You sweet and lovely young woman, you look sad again. You need a hug". I went around to the other side of the cash register and gave her a hug. People looked at me funny, but I didn't care. The boss of the supermarket came over to ask what happened. I said"Nothing happened. She just really needed a hug". A few days later, when we were at the store again, the lovely young cashier had on her beautiful smile again. This time when she smiled at me, it wasn't any ol' forced smile. This time it was one worth a million bucks.
What a great feeling it is, knowing that your smile brightened someone's day. Even for just a few minutes.
With Love,
Cigal
Even before I became an Ima, I always valued the importance of a smile in order to make someone else's day even just a little bit brighter. We're talking a big smile and a "boker tov" to the street cleaner, or a big smile and a "good afternoon" to the bank teller, the cashier at the grocery store or the irritable cab driver.
We've all had bad days. We've all been in the middle of one of those days, wishing we could just crawl into bed and hide under the covers.
We live in a small city, that kind of has a yishuv, a small settlement, feel to it. There's a strong sense of community. I have a friendly relationship with all of the cashiers at the supermarket near my house. We always engage in friendly chatter when I'm at their cash. Last week, I noticed that one of the cashiers, a sweet and lovely young woman, had tear stained cheeks and red eyes. The kids and I weren't in line at her cash, but I smiled at her from where I was standing and she gave a forced smile back. The next day, Erev Shabbat, I was there with Hubby and the kids and this time, we were in line at her cash. She looked very upset again(or still). I looked at her and said" You sweet and lovely young woman, you look sad again. You need a hug". I went around to the other side of the cash register and gave her a hug. People looked at me funny, but I didn't care. The boss of the supermarket came over to ask what happened. I said"Nothing happened. She just really needed a hug". A few days later, when we were at the store again, the lovely young cashier had on her beautiful smile again. This time when she smiled at me, it wasn't any ol' forced smile. This time it was one worth a million bucks.
What a great feeling it is, knowing that your smile brightened someone's day. Even for just a few minutes.
With Love,
Cigal
Friday, July 1, 2011
Laughter is music
We can all learn some really important and valuable life lessons from my 1 1/2 year old. This morning we started off on the wrong foot, when I gave him something to eat that he was not in the mood for and then put him in his crib with some of his favorite toys for some down time while I tended to our newborn. He was crying and crying...To an outsider, it might have sounded like he was inconsolable. But as his Ima, I knew just what to do. I put on a song he loves and went into his room dancing. Sooner than I knew it, my little boy's tears stopped and fits of giggles and laughter replaced them. My boy started dancing in his crib, clapping his hands and laughing up a storm. He'd forgotten completely that 2 minutes before, he was really upset.
How much better would our lives be if we could let go of our sadness, frustration and anger as quickly as my sweet boy did? How much happier would we all be if when we feel upset, instead of allowing those feelings to grow and confine us, we could break into some kind of fun/silly dance and all of those unproductive and limiting feelings would simply vanish into thin air?
We often don't realize it, but our kids can be our best teachers.
With Love,
Cigal
How much better would our lives be if we could let go of our sadness, frustration and anger as quickly as my sweet boy did? How much happier would we all be if when we feel upset, instead of allowing those feelings to grow and confine us, we could break into some kind of fun/silly dance and all of those unproductive and limiting feelings would simply vanish into thin air?
We often don't realize it, but our kids can be our best teachers.
With Love,
Cigal
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
My Book of Names
A week before Hubby and I got married, I sent out an email to my entire email address book, letting people know that I wanted to help them pray for the things they really want/need in their lives. I asked them to send me their Hebrew names and their mothers' Hebrew names. Then I asked them to write what they would like me to request for them(ie. a speedy recovery, a husband, a wife, healthy children, financial stability, a quick and easy delivery, a fast and minimally painful divorce, etc). It is said that on her wedding day, a very auspicious time, the bride has a direct channel of communication with G-d.
On my wedding day, before I was married , while praying at the Kotel with my book of names, I made a commitment that the book of names would not be "just for the wedding day", but rather that I would pray for the people in that book every Friday night at candlelighting and that I would add names to the various categories whenever needed or requested.
Hubby and I have been married almost 3 years now and many names have been removed from the book. People who have struggled for years to conceive now have healthy babies, thank G-d. Others who had been searching for their significant others for many years were blessed to find their other half. People who were very ill and were suffering terribly are now no longer suffering, either because they were blessed with miraculous recoveries or they joined their Creator in a place where suffering doesn't exist.
I believe in the power of prayer. I believe that every single one of us can have an impact on the fate of our fellow Jew. Think about the people you know and love. Think about what you know they would love to have and don't. Imagine that your prayer for them can open the Heavens and grab G-d's attention. G-d listens to every single prayer. Sometimes his answer is "no", but as our Heavenly Father, He knows what's best for us. Imagine never saying "no" to your children....What would become of them? And why should G-d treat His children any differently than we treat ours?
Every day, new names are added to my book. Many are names of people I've never met, but I consider them to be my brothers and sisters, so I pray for them like I would for a close family member or a dear friend. I pray for the quickest salvation from their current challenges and am reminded daily that Yeshuat Hashem Ke'Heref Ayin...G-d's Salvation comes like the blink of an eye.
It is also said that if there's something you desperately want and you know that someone else wants that very same thing(ie. a healthy baby, a husband, a wife, etc), if you pray for them from deep within your heart, G-d will bless you with whatever it is first.
I encourage you all, my dear readers, to think about the people you love and care about. Be their advocates. Be their cheerleaders. Ask G-d to bless them with their deepest heart's desires and you too will be blessed.
Love,
Cigal
On my wedding day, before I was married , while praying at the Kotel with my book of names, I made a commitment that the book of names would not be "just for the wedding day", but rather that I would pray for the people in that book every Friday night at candlelighting and that I would add names to the various categories whenever needed or requested.
Hubby and I have been married almost 3 years now and many names have been removed from the book. People who have struggled for years to conceive now have healthy babies, thank G-d. Others who had been searching for their significant others for many years were blessed to find their other half. People who were very ill and were suffering terribly are now no longer suffering, either because they were blessed with miraculous recoveries or they joined their Creator in a place where suffering doesn't exist.
I believe in the power of prayer. I believe that every single one of us can have an impact on the fate of our fellow Jew. Think about the people you know and love. Think about what you know they would love to have and don't. Imagine that your prayer for them can open the Heavens and grab G-d's attention. G-d listens to every single prayer. Sometimes his answer is "no", but as our Heavenly Father, He knows what's best for us. Imagine never saying "no" to your children....What would become of them? And why should G-d treat His children any differently than we treat ours?
Every day, new names are added to my book. Many are names of people I've never met, but I consider them to be my brothers and sisters, so I pray for them like I would for a close family member or a dear friend. I pray for the quickest salvation from their current challenges and am reminded daily that Yeshuat Hashem Ke'Heref Ayin...G-d's Salvation comes like the blink of an eye.
It is also said that if there's something you desperately want and you know that someone else wants that very same thing(ie. a healthy baby, a husband, a wife, etc), if you pray for them from deep within your heart, G-d will bless you with whatever it is first.
I encourage you all, my dear readers, to think about the people you love and care about. Be their advocates. Be their cheerleaders. Ask G-d to bless them with their deepest heart's desires and you too will be blessed.
Love,
Cigal
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
My angels are smiling
I believe in angels.
As far as I know, I have 4 of my own; one that I met and loved and three that I never met, but continue to love just the same.
The one that I met and loved was my Saba, my mothers' father. He was one of the first pioneers to leave Poland (Pre-Hitler) and come to this beautiful country of ours, with a Zionist vision and an undying commitment to building this land with his own two hands and the hands of the trailblazers who joined him. When I first walked off the Nefesh B'Nefesh Aliyah flight almost 7 years ago, I truly felt Saba's presence with me....I remember that day like it was yesterday. I felt his strong and warm embrace as I stepped off that plane and into my new life. I know he was proud of me then. He's looking down at me from the heavens and at the life I've created for myself in the land he loved so and he feels proud.
My three other angels are my paternal grandparents and my uncle(dad's little brother) who were all murdered at the evil hands of the Nazis. They were observant Jews whose lives were wiped out for that very reason alone. I can just imagine what could have been had they survived...I sometimes fantasize that they would have moved to Israel, the only place in the world where one can be an authentic practicing Jew without fear and threat of persecution...My dad and his sisters would have had their parents here with them, rather than being raised in orphanages and children's homes after the Holocaust...How differently their lives would have turned out...
In so many ways, I feel like I'm living my angels' dreams, too. Here I am, living a passionate Jewish life in the Jewish homeland, with my husband and our two precious children. We are incredibly blessed to have the honor to not only be watching as Jewish history unfolds from afar, but rather, we are MAKING Jewish history just by living here. Hubby and I both made Aliyah(he 11 years ago and I, 7 years ago). I truly believe that we have four angels looking down at us from the heavens and smiling.
With Love,
Cigal
As far as I know, I have 4 of my own; one that I met and loved and three that I never met, but continue to love just the same.
The one that I met and loved was my Saba, my mothers' father. He was one of the first pioneers to leave Poland (Pre-Hitler) and come to this beautiful country of ours, with a Zionist vision and an undying commitment to building this land with his own two hands and the hands of the trailblazers who joined him. When I first walked off the Nefesh B'Nefesh Aliyah flight almost 7 years ago, I truly felt Saba's presence with me....I remember that day like it was yesterday. I felt his strong and warm embrace as I stepped off that plane and into my new life. I know he was proud of me then. He's looking down at me from the heavens and at the life I've created for myself in the land he loved so and he feels proud.
My three other angels are my paternal grandparents and my uncle(dad's little brother) who were all murdered at the evil hands of the Nazis. They were observant Jews whose lives were wiped out for that very reason alone. I can just imagine what could have been had they survived...I sometimes fantasize that they would have moved to Israel, the only place in the world where one can be an authentic practicing Jew without fear and threat of persecution...My dad and his sisters would have had their parents here with them, rather than being raised in orphanages and children's homes after the Holocaust...How differently their lives would have turned out...
In so many ways, I feel like I'm living my angels' dreams, too. Here I am, living a passionate Jewish life in the Jewish homeland, with my husband and our two precious children. We are incredibly blessed to have the honor to not only be watching as Jewish history unfolds from afar, but rather, we are MAKING Jewish history just by living here. Hubby and I both made Aliyah(he 11 years ago and I, 7 years ago). I truly believe that we have four angels looking down at us from the heavens and smiling.
With Love,
Cigal
Monday, June 27, 2011
The Blessing in the Glucose
When I was pregnant with each one of my kids, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Both times I made strong commitments to myself, to G-d and to the unborn fetus that I would adhere to the strictest of diets and do lots of exercise in order to protect my child from sugar issues, G-d forbid, and to prevent myself from c-sections( I had a bowel resection for Crohn's Disease in 1996 and abdominal surgery frightens me to no end). The doctors put the fear of G-d in women with GD about having large babies, needing c-sections, etc.I am eternally grateful to G-d for giving me strength and discipline to do as I committed to doing and for allowing me to experience the intense beauty of natural childbirth both times. More importantly, I thank Him every day for providing me with two healthy children with perfect birth weights and without any sugar problems.
Today I had to go for a follow up sugar test in order to make sure that what I had was indeed gestational diabetes and not a more chronic case. The glucose I had to drink was vile, but after I drank it, I stopped to think for a minute about the blessing that was hidden in the glucose.
I am a self diagnosed Ben & Jerry's addict. It is a serious danger to leave me alone with a tub, as it can easily disappear without any evidence of ever having existed(I'm sure many of my readers can relate...That stuff is heavenly!). Gestational diabetes meant that I couldn't go anywhere near the stuff for 9 whole months. It was hard work for sure and required insane amounts of discipline, especially when I was pregnant in the hot summer months...But that very difficult challenge made me step up to the plate and be strong for the sake of my kids and my fear of c-sections.
This morning, as I gulped down the sickly sweet glucose, turning up my nose and using every last bit of strength not to throw it up, I suddenly smiled as I looked at my two little darlings in their stroller. So what if I deprived myself of Ben & Jerry's for 9 months? So what if this tastes horrific? I have two healthy kids, thank G-d. I am blessed.
With Love,
Cigal
Today I had to go for a follow up sugar test in order to make sure that what I had was indeed gestational diabetes and not a more chronic case. The glucose I had to drink was vile, but after I drank it, I stopped to think for a minute about the blessing that was hidden in the glucose.
I am a self diagnosed Ben & Jerry's addict. It is a serious danger to leave me alone with a tub, as it can easily disappear without any evidence of ever having existed(I'm sure many of my readers can relate...That stuff is heavenly!). Gestational diabetes meant that I couldn't go anywhere near the stuff for 9 whole months. It was hard work for sure and required insane amounts of discipline, especially when I was pregnant in the hot summer months...But that very difficult challenge made me step up to the plate and be strong for the sake of my kids and my fear of c-sections.
This morning, as I gulped down the sickly sweet glucose, turning up my nose and using every last bit of strength not to throw it up, I suddenly smiled as I looked at my two little darlings in their stroller. So what if I deprived myself of Ben & Jerry's for 9 months? So what if this tastes horrific? I have two healthy kids, thank G-d. I am blessed.
With Love,
Cigal
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Seek and you shall find
Finally. After being in Israel for almost 7 years( since Aug 11th, 2004),my time has come. Almost everyone who makes Aliyah seems to have a blog about their experiences here. I just never got around to it. But here we are. The little darlings are asleep and I am alone with my thoughts, my cup of decaf and you, my dear readers.
Every person has many different chapters in their life. Some of those chapters are filled with joy, while others are filled with pain.Some chapters are uneventful, while others are filled with adventure. We search in some chapters, and we find in others. But every chapter is meant as a stepping stone, something to grow from. We are meant to learn something from every person that comes into our life and to become stronger, better people from the challenges that we encounter.
I am a believer. I believe that everyone who enters our lives is there for a reason. That everything we go through is for a reason and that timing is EVERYTHING.
After having lived in Israel for almost 7 years now, I understand why my soul was crying out that I wasn't living my intended life in Canada. I understand why I had to wait so many years to meet my husband( we got married almost 3 years ago) and why I had to go through so much pain, disappointment and frustration with dating and relationships...In His Infinite Wisdom, G-d knew that had we met sooner, we would have both walked away from each other. We both had to be ready for our mission.
Just when you think the pain will never end and that all your prayers are going unheard, G-d steps in and blesses you with so much more than you'd ever expected or hoped for.
Here I am, living the life I was intended to live all along, in MY land, with MY people. A life of passionate Judaism. A life based on striving for holiness, exactly how G-d intended, with the man who G-d wants me to do that with. And it all seems to have happened like the blink of an eye. Suddenly, I'm a wife and an Ima to two precious little babies...I am truly blessed.
In this blog, I will share ideas, thoughts, stories and anecdotes, all meant to warm your hearts and inspire you to look for the constant miracles and blessings in your daily lives. Seek and you shall find.
With Love,
Cigal
Every person has many different chapters in their life. Some of those chapters are filled with joy, while others are filled with pain.Some chapters are uneventful, while others are filled with adventure. We search in some chapters, and we find in others. But every chapter is meant as a stepping stone, something to grow from. We are meant to learn something from every person that comes into our life and to become stronger, better people from the challenges that we encounter.
I am a believer. I believe that everyone who enters our lives is there for a reason. That everything we go through is for a reason and that timing is EVERYTHING.
After having lived in Israel for almost 7 years now, I understand why my soul was crying out that I wasn't living my intended life in Canada. I understand why I had to wait so many years to meet my husband( we got married almost 3 years ago) and why I had to go through so much pain, disappointment and frustration with dating and relationships...In His Infinite Wisdom, G-d knew that had we met sooner, we would have both walked away from each other. We both had to be ready for our mission.
Just when you think the pain will never end and that all your prayers are going unheard, G-d steps in and blesses you with so much more than you'd ever expected or hoped for.
Here I am, living the life I was intended to live all along, in MY land, with MY people. A life of passionate Judaism. A life based on striving for holiness, exactly how G-d intended, with the man who G-d wants me to do that with. And it all seems to have happened like the blink of an eye. Suddenly, I'm a wife and an Ima to two precious little babies...I am truly blessed.
In this blog, I will share ideas, thoughts, stories and anecdotes, all meant to warm your hearts and inspire you to look for the constant miracles and blessings in your daily lives. Seek and you shall find.
With Love,
Cigal
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