When I was in high school, I was bullied relentlessly by a group of popular boys and girls who got their jollies by seeing me and other nice kids like me wince in pain as the insults and put downs were released from their unforgiving mouths. I was a hard working, successful (for the most part) student. A nice girl who tried hard to fit in but somehow couldn't.
They made fun of my name, one that wasn't so popular in Canada. They made fun of my weight (I was slightly overweight) and tried to make me feel like I was the most disgusting, despicable and unwanted person on the planet.
Thank G-d for a few angelic friends who never joined in the barrage of taunts and insults. Thank G-d for those who saw me for who I was and loved me anyways.
The teachers didn't notice my pain. And if they did, they turned a blind eye. I felt like there were no grownups in my life to share with...But yet, I survived.
Fast forward to my adult years, I worked as a teacher and as a school counselor for many years and have never allowed any type of bullying to rear its ugly head into my classrooms. I have always had strong messages for the bullies, the bullied and the bystanders.
To my tormentors during high school, I feel sorry for you. You must have been going through some terrible things yourselves, that made you feel the need to try destroying my soul and the souls of other sweet, kind and sensitive kids who caused you no harm.
To my angel friends, who stood by me, held my hand, dried my tears and gave me strength to return to school the next day, you know who you are. Thank you. You helped me stay above water and allowed me to build a strong armor around myself that would not allow me to crack.
To those of you who stood by and watched as they tortured me, picked on me and tried to destroy me, SHAME ON YOU. In Judaism, there is a very powerful concept of "Lo Ta'amod al Dam Re'echa...Do not stand idly by as your brother's blood is being spilled". I pray that you have all developed a thicker skin and that you now stand up to injustice when you see it.
To all of you, my dear readers, do NOT be bystanders. Especially nowadays, with the evolution of bullying. Now we hear stories on the news of kids who committed suicide because of cyber bullying through email, Facebook or Twitter. Stay alert. Stay aware of who your child is friends with (or not). Keep lines of communication safe and open. Parents, TALK TO YOUR KIDS DAILY. Street proof them. Give them a broad feelings vocabulary and make them know you have their backs. Teach them that they are strong, beautiful and worthy and don't deserve to be treated like garbage. You have the ability and the tools to teach your kids resilience. START NOW.
With Love,
Cigal
http://trending.world/this-girl-is-being-bullied-at-the-bus-stop-watch-what-the-adults-do-who-witness-it.html
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Small Sparks of Love
This morning, after dropping my oldest off at his kindergarten, I decided to stop at a salad bar on the way home and treat myself to a fresh and healthy salad for breakfast instead of a tub of Ben & Jerry's. On my way out of the salad bar, I saw a very young looking Hatzala Medic sitting on his scooter, talking on his cellphone, probably to his wife, as I heard him say "I love you very much" before hanging up.
As I looked at him, I got a sudden rush of images of what his life must be like. A young wife at home. Maybe she's expecting their first child or maybe they already have a couple of young children. Maybe he's trained as a carpenter, a plumber, a lawyer or a doctor. Maybe he has a private practice as a therapist or he runs a catering business. The one thing that I know for sure, is that he has his beeper on him at all times, whether it be a Sunday morning, a Tuesday late at night, a Shabbat morning or an Erev Chag (the eve of a holiday). He is on call 24/7, ready to respond to any kind of trauma, whether it be a nasty car accident, a suicide bombing, a stabbing or a shooting.
I returned back to reality and was suddenly filled with a tremendous sense of awe and gratitude to this young man who is literally at the center of all the bloodshed our tiny beautiful country is facing right now. The tremendous mesirut nefesh (dedication) and love that this man and so many other Hatzala volunteers and their families show for their people is beyond incredible...
"I must get him something small to show my appreciation", I thought to myself, praying that he wouldn't drive off before I could. I ran into the closest bakery and bought him an ice coffee. As I ran out the door, he had already backed up on his scooter and was about to drive off.
"Excuse me!" I called out.
"Yes?" he answered
"I saw you sitting here and I just had to show you my deep appreciation for the incredible work that you're doing for our Nation."
"What work do I do?" he asks humbly.
"Your tremendous work with Hatzala". He smiled.
"I am so in awe of all of you incredible Hatzala guys, your wives, your families.So here's my small token of appreciation for you. This ice coffee is for you"
"Wow! Thank you so much!", he responded.
I walked away from that exchange feeling like a million bucks and I'm sure he was touched by the gesture.
Showing Hakarat HaTov( being grateful), especially during dark times like these for our people, can add small sparks of love and hope into the deep darkness that seems to be surrounding us right now.
To my beautiful Nation, Am Yisrael, express as much Hakarat HaTov to as many people as you can, as often as you can. It'll make you feel warm and fuzzy inside and you will touch the heart of the person on the receiving end.
Am Yisrael Chai!
With Love,
Cigal
***Note: The stress, fear and anxiety of the last few weeks have caused many people, present company included, to resort to stress eating, hence the comment about a tub of Ben & Jerry's.
As I looked at him, I got a sudden rush of images of what his life must be like. A young wife at home. Maybe she's expecting their first child or maybe they already have a couple of young children. Maybe he's trained as a carpenter, a plumber, a lawyer or a doctor. Maybe he has a private practice as a therapist or he runs a catering business. The one thing that I know for sure, is that he has his beeper on him at all times, whether it be a Sunday morning, a Tuesday late at night, a Shabbat morning or an Erev Chag (the eve of a holiday). He is on call 24/7, ready to respond to any kind of trauma, whether it be a nasty car accident, a suicide bombing, a stabbing or a shooting.
I returned back to reality and was suddenly filled with a tremendous sense of awe and gratitude to this young man who is literally at the center of all the bloodshed our tiny beautiful country is facing right now. The tremendous mesirut nefesh (dedication) and love that this man and so many other Hatzala volunteers and their families show for their people is beyond incredible...
"I must get him something small to show my appreciation", I thought to myself, praying that he wouldn't drive off before I could. I ran into the closest bakery and bought him an ice coffee. As I ran out the door, he had already backed up on his scooter and was about to drive off.
"Excuse me!" I called out.
"Yes?" he answered
"I saw you sitting here and I just had to show you my deep appreciation for the incredible work that you're doing for our Nation."
"What work do I do?" he asks humbly.
"Your tremendous work with Hatzala". He smiled.
"I am so in awe of all of you incredible Hatzala guys, your wives, your families.So here's my small token of appreciation for you. This ice coffee is for you"
"Wow! Thank you so much!", he responded.
I walked away from that exchange feeling like a million bucks and I'm sure he was touched by the gesture.
Showing Hakarat HaTov( being grateful), especially during dark times like these for our people, can add small sparks of love and hope into the deep darkness that seems to be surrounding us right now.
To my beautiful Nation, Am Yisrael, express as much Hakarat HaTov to as many people as you can, as often as you can. It'll make you feel warm and fuzzy inside and you will touch the heart of the person on the receiving end.
Am Yisrael Chai!
With Love,
Cigal
***Note: The stress, fear and anxiety of the last few weeks have caused many people, present company included, to resort to stress eating, hence the comment about a tub of Ben & Jerry's.
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