A couple of months ago, the kids and I were at the park one afternoon when I saw a young boy do something I thought was disgusting and unsanitary for the other children in the park. The kid's mother was sitting on a park bench, chatting away with her friends, oblivious to what had just happened. My blood was boiling. I went straight over to the boy, told him what I thought and then went to his mother to tell her what her boy had done and how she needed to stop him from doing this again. My tone was harsh, accusing and extremely judgmental.
For weeks after the incident, every time I thought about this mother and her young boy, my blood would boil. Every time I saw either one of them, I was remionded again of how angry I felt that day at the park....
Come the Aseret Yemey Teshuva(10 days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, The day of Atonement) and my thoughts kept coming back to this mother and her son, but this time instead of rage and judgment, the feeling of shame set in. How could I have spoken so harshly to that mother when she was surrounded by all her friends? I should have pulled her aside at least. How could I have embarrassed her so badly? What a massive transgression I had committed! The Torah forbids embarrassing another person SO adamantly! According to Torah Law, when you embarrass someone, it's as though you have committed murder.
Yesterday afternoon, the kids and I were having a stroll in our neighborhood when I saw that mother heading in the same direction as us. I told the kids" Guys, watch this! Ema has a huge mitzvah opportunity and I'm gonna take it!". The kids followed me as I ran to stop the woman. She's a Hebrew speaker who lives in our neighborhood. I told her that I was very sorry for calling her out in public a couple of months back. That it was very wrong of me to humiliate her that way. I told her that I still think that what her son did was wrong and that I still think that she should talk to him and tell him not to do that again, but that I am so very sorry about the way I dealt with the situation. The mother broke out into a huge smile and said" Wow! You're so brave! I don't think I would have had the courage to say sorry. Kol Hakavod to you(Way to go!)." She reached out and gave me a big hug, we introduced ourselves by name, wished each other "Shana Tova" (Happy New Year) and parted ways.
After parting ways, I asked my kids to replay what had happened, as I thought this was a fantastic teachable moment for them. My oldest said" Ema, you asked for forgiveness" and my daughter said" You did Teshuva" (repentance). That's right, my Angels. That's exactly it.
Thank you, Hashem, for giving me the opportunity to do the right thing and for allowing my children to witness their Ema taking responsibility for her wrongdoing, while feeling the tremendous power of forgiveness.
With Love,
Cigal
