The Golden Treasure Chest of Tears

Golani Brigade Sergeant Nachshon Mordechai Wachsman was an IDF soldier abducted by Hamas in 1994. He was held hostage by the organization for six days and executed during a failed military rescue operation. Wachsman's parents immediately appealed to world leaders, including then-Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, American President Bill Clinton and Muslim religious leaders to take every action necessary to have their son released.

 
On that Thursday night, with only 24 hours remaining until the ultimatum expired, prayer vigils for Wachsman were held across Israel and over 100,000 people from all religious, political, and social spheres gathered at the Western Wall to pray for his safe return. People who had never lit Shabbat candles had lit for Nachshon. The entire Nation of Israel was united and crying from the depths of their souls for the safe return of this very special hero of Israel.


How could it be that he wasn't saved? All those tears? All those tfilot? An entire nation united and begging our Heavenly Father to bring him back home? How could it be that Nachshon never made it back to his family's loving arms?
Nachshon's father's response was " Our loving father loves answering with a resounding"yes" to most of our requests, but sometimes, he has to say "No".


A woman once came to Reb Aryeh Levine to inform him that her husband was very ill and that he really needed tfilot (prayers). The holy Rabbi prayed as did the wife.They both implored our Father in Heaven to heal the sick husband. A few days later, the husband passed away and the wife came to the Rav crying and saying: "What were all my tfilot for? Why did I pray so hard for my dear husband and then G-d took him from me? Were my tears shed for nothing?".


Four years ago, the world lost a vivacious, strong and beautiful young mother named Ayala Pamela. She was diagnosed with metastatic cancer and left the world 6 weeks after the diagnosis. During those 6 weeks, hundreds of people around the world were praying for a speedy and complete recovery, pleading with G-d not to separate this precious soul from her very small children.
For four years now, hundreds of people around the world have been praying for a quick and speedy recovery for another dear and very beautiful friend named Rachael (Dahlben) Masri. She was a strong, smart, beautiful and vivacious young woman and mother who was filled with pure love for her children and her fellow Jew.


In moments where grief and sadness overtake me and I feel angry at G-d for taking away my dear friends, I shake my fists up to the heavens and say "Why, G-d? Why? Why did these two beloved jewels have to leave this earth so prematurely? Why are there now five orphans who will rely on anecdotes from others to remember their precious mothers? Did we all cry and beg you for nothing? What was the point of all the hafrashot challah? Of all the Tehillim groups? Of all the Mi Sh'berachs in shul? Where did all our tears go?"




This past Tuesday night, a handful of women and I went to a class given by Rebbetzin Esther Shurin, from our Alma Mater, Midreshet Rachel v'Chaya, the seminary where both Ayala Pamela and Rachael learned Torah. Rebbetzin Shurin shared the story of Nachshon and Reb Aryeh Levine and what both Nachshon's father and the Rav answered. The Rav told the grieving woman that Hashem stores our tears...Every last one. Not one tear is left unaccounted for.



I imagine that way up in heaven, by the Kisseh Hakavod, G-d's Heavenly Throne, lies a beautiful golden treasure chest, filled with Am Yisrael's tears. I imagine that those tears and our ultimate Redemption are somehow connected. I pray that the beautiful Ayala Pamela and the gorgeous Rachael are acting as strong advocates for us up there.



May their memories be blessed for Eternity.

From a Mother of Future Soldiers

Dear Charedi Brothers and Sisters in Uniform,

They're scorning, cursing, threatening and intimidating you.
They're using a despicable word to describe you (Chardak, a play on words from Charedi and charak together(cockroach)). This word was created from their rage and indignation.
In their white shirts and black pants, wearing their black hats, black kippot or streimels, they are looking down at you and trying to terrorize you into submission. There is no talking to them in their current state. Their ears, eyes and and hearts are closed.

They feel enraged, ashamed and betrayed by you. They feel shocked and heartbroken by your choices. Maybe they're your parents, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, your cousins, your teachers, your rebbes, your friends you went to school with. People who you grew up with. People who want to pound their truth and reality into you....

But that truth and reality is not yours. Yours is a very different truth and a very different reality. You are a strong and committed Eved Hashem (G-d's servant), even if they don't think you are. You have a deep and meaningful relationship with Him just like they do, maybe even more so. You have decided to join His Army. His holy men and women in uniform whose mission it is to protect the Nation of Israel. The painful and derogatory words from your opponents are aimed directly at your heart, like sharp arrows meant to hurt you. But you, my dear brothers and sisters, you remain strong and relatively unscathed. You know what your true G-dly mission is and you stand firmly behind it, despite the naysayers that surround you.

You are strong, brave and resilient and I admire your dedication to what you believe to be true. When I see you with your black kippa, your army uniform and the M16 hanging off your shoulder, just know that my heart swells with pride in you for following your heart where it led you. Just know that in my eyes, you are a holy and beautiful Kiddush Hashem(sanctification of G-d's name), striving to make positive changes to our very hurting nation. The naysayers simply don't realize that you are trailblazers, paving the way for a much brighter future for our family, Am Yisrael. I know how hard it must be for you to stand strong and firm in your beliefs and your mission, but please know in your heart of hearts, that there is at least one mother of future soldiers(and likely thousands of others) that loves you, prays for you and salutes you from the sidelines.


With Love and Admiration,
Cigal

Teach them Kindness and Empathy

This morning, my youngest little guy had to go for (fasting) blood work and my oldest insisted on coming with us. I convinced my daughter to go to her preschool instead of joining us. Earlier in the week, the oldest, who is terrified of needles, had some blood work done and afterwards, the youngest gave him a big hug and a big kiss, reminding him that he had gotten through it, that it was over and that there was no more need to cry.

Today, my oldest wanted to repay him and be there to support him during what he thought would be a very scary and challenging time for his little brother.. My youngest has a tremendous threshold for pain and he didn't bat an eyelash while the nurse went looking (and quickly found) a viable vein. The little guy sat through the blood work without so much as a peep. Afterwards, my oldest gave him a big hug and a big kiss and said "Wow! You're so brave".

I had promised the boys that I'd buy them something yummy to eat after the blood work. They both chose cheese danishes. When we got to the bakery, we were told that we could buy 2 for 10 or 3 for 12. I figured I'd have one with my cup of coffee after I'd drop them off at their preschool/kindergarten.

On our walk to drop off the oldest, we spotted a street cleaner that we had befriended a few years ago. A sweet and kind looking Ethiopian man who we always say "Good Morning" or "Good Afternoon" to when we pass him on the street. It is very important to me that my children acknowledge services that are given to them with gratitude and a smile. The weather these days is unbearably hot and these hard working street cleaners can really use some friendly "Good Mornings/Afternoons" from passersby. My oldest spots him from a distance and says to me" Ema, did you eat your cheesecake yet?". I said no and I knew exactly what was coming next. "Ema, let's give the cheesecake to our friend. He works so hard and it's so hot out here." I was so moved and touched by the hugeness of my boy's heart, that I gladly gave him the cheesecake and said" Tell him to eat it with his cup of coffee later". My 6 year old went over to the street cleaner, said "Good Morning" and then told him "Have it with your cup of coffee later". Our friend's face lit up with a gigantic smile and he thanked my boy profusely.

We live in a sometimes thankless world. A world filled with darkness and pain, at times. It dawns on me every day, how if people used more kindness and empathy in their daily encounters with their families, friends, acquaintances and even strangers on the street who could use a friendly "hello" or "good morning", our world would be a much better place.

We can all make our own contributions.

Let's start NOW.

Love,
Cigal