As I hug and kiss my little ones today, my heart hurts. As I feed my baby a warm bottle of milk, his tiny little hands holding onto the bottle along with mine, and as I hear his precious coos, tears stream down my face. The aching heart and the tears are for my dear friend Pamela who passed way 2 days before my baby entered this world. Pamela was a beautiful young mother of two precious children ages 2 1/2 and 8 months (at the time). She was diagnosed with very aggressive forms of cancer and 6 weeks later, she was gone, leaving painful empty spaces in the hearts of everyone who knew and loved her...Myself included.
Today and many other days, she's on my mind and in my heart, for I too, am a mother of three precious little ones(the oldest is 3 years old and the youngest is almost 5 months old)...
In the last 6 months, 2 dear friends of mine have lost their battles and it seems that every week I learn of a new friend or acquaintance who just got diagnosed, with either breast cancer, ovarian cancer, stomach cancer, or brain cancer. That evil monster seems to be rearing its ugly head in every corner I turn and its victims seem to be getting younger and younger.
As a religious Jew, I cry out to G-d and ask him "Why, Hashem??? Why are you taking such beautiful young mothers away from their precious families?" and then I remember a shiur( a class) I went to many years ago, where the rabbi had encouraged us to change the way we talk to G-d. Instead of asking "Lama?"(Why?), we should ask "Leh'Ma?"(For what purpose). So that is what I ask G-d" For what purpose are these young mothers being taken away so soon?". I don't have the answers, but I trust that G-d, in His Infinite Goodness and Wisdom, has His reasons.
One thing I do know is that there's such a thing as early detection of the Monster and taking control of one's life whenever possible. And I know that early detection has saved many lives. And that G-d willing, many more lives will be saved. And so today, I'm going for a mammogram. I know that Pamela would have been all for it if she were here. And I know that all the wonderful special mamas out there who are fighting their brave battles would say the same.
As scary as it is and as scared as I am, I'm gonna do it. For the sake of my husband, our children and all the special mamas who inspire me every day with their tremendous strength and courage.
May G-d be with all of us!
With Love,
Cigal
