I grew up in Montreal, Canada. I went to Jewish day schools and was taught about the importance of my Jewish identity from a very young age. On Yom HaZikaron (Memorial Day for the Fallen Soldiers of Israel), we always had a commemoration ceremony and I cried. On Yom Ha'Atzma'ut, we hit the streets with flags, singing, dancing and falafel for lunch....And I felt tremendous joy...Israel always had a very deep and special place in my heart.
But that was it. Grieving from afar...Celebrating from afar...Everything from afar, in my comfortable and carefree life back in Canada.
Meanwhile, as I was going out with my friends without a care in the world, you, my Israeli brothers and sisters were getting drafted into the army...You were kids just like me, 18 years old...Lacing up your combat boots while I planned my next Mexican getaway...
You were forced into a painful and frightening reality that I knew nothing about...You were on a mission to protect your Nation....Your mothers and your fathers stayed awake nights on end, hoping and praying that you would return home safely. Your younger brothers and sisters may have been too young to really understand, but they saw the fear and the pain in your parents' eyes.
My blood is not thicker, better or redder than yours. It never was. Why was it okay for me to lead a blessedly ignorant young adult life, while you were on the front lines, heroically fighting to protect our people? Why was it okay that at 18 you wondered if you would return home alive to your family while I wondered how I was going to pass my final exams?
To all of you, my dear brothers and sisters who lost your precious young lives in order to protect our citizens, I am here now, not just in heart, but in body and soul as well. I am in the ring with you. Your losses are my losses. Your tragedies are my tragedies. Your victories are my victories.
Tonight and tomorrow on Yom HaZikaron, I will cry for all 23,320 of you who lost your lives and I will cry for the additional 67 of you that joined this unfathomable number over the summer in Operation Tzuk Eitan. I will stand in silence tonight and tomorrow and feel the heartache that our entire nation will be feeling and then tomorrow night, I will celebrate the wonder and the amazement of our beautiful little country that is turning 67 years old. The giant heart that is our Nation will continue to beat, in sadness and in joy.
With Love,
Cigal
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Around my Shabbes Table
It's mid April in Israel...But today it feels like mid December. The bitter cold, the thunder, lighting and pouring rain throughout the night. The howling winds into the early hours of the morning....I imagine the vicitms and they're crying, along with G-d...They'e crying bitter angry tears about the unspeakable and unfathomable loss that all of us have had to endure...Broken families, dead children, burning corpses, human ashes...
And later in the morning, the sun shows up, because that is who we are as a nation...After the darkness, the light always returns. But we can't see that beautiful light when we are blinded by darkness...So we seek the light, and then we find it.
I do my regular Thursday Shabbat shop before the 10 am siren, hoping to be outdoors when it sounds off. As I walk home with my shopping bags, I picture my 4 year old uncle and my grandparents in their early 40's. They too, were crying bitter tears last night in the middle of the night and earlier this morning. They were sobbing for their son and their brother(my father) and for their daughters and sisters (my aunts). They were sobbing for their nieces, nephews, grandchildren, great grandchildren and their great great grandchildren whom they never got to hug, kiss or caress.
They missed out on Britot, Bat Mitzvahs, Bar Mitzvahs and weddings. Oh ,how I wish they could have been at my wedding and at the births of my children..I imagine what it would be like to sit around my Shabbes table with them singing beautiful Shabbes songs and harmonizing in perfect sync. I imagine baking challah with my beautiful grandmother and learning from her how to put the perfect touch to my cholent. I imagine my grandfather and my uncle taking my boys to shul and feeling so much pride as they watch them pray from the heart. I imagine listening to my grandparents share stories from their childhoods and I imagine myself soaking it all in, while thirsting for more...But these are just dreams that live deep within my imagination...
While standing still for the siren in the cold and windy morning, I feel their warm and loving embrace around me and I know they are with me. And I am with them. And that's how it will always be, for I carry their torch and that torch will continue to live within me, my children, their children and all generations to follow, Please G-d.
With Love,
Cigal
And later in the morning, the sun shows up, because that is who we are as a nation...After the darkness, the light always returns. But we can't see that beautiful light when we are blinded by darkness...So we seek the light, and then we find it.
I do my regular Thursday Shabbat shop before the 10 am siren, hoping to be outdoors when it sounds off. As I walk home with my shopping bags, I picture my 4 year old uncle and my grandparents in their early 40's. They too, were crying bitter tears last night in the middle of the night and earlier this morning. They were sobbing for their son and their brother(my father) and for their daughters and sisters (my aunts). They were sobbing for their nieces, nephews, grandchildren, great grandchildren and their great great grandchildren whom they never got to hug, kiss or caress.
They missed out on Britot, Bat Mitzvahs, Bar Mitzvahs and weddings. Oh ,how I wish they could have been at my wedding and at the births of my children..I imagine what it would be like to sit around my Shabbes table with them singing beautiful Shabbes songs and harmonizing in perfect sync. I imagine baking challah with my beautiful grandmother and learning from her how to put the perfect touch to my cholent. I imagine my grandfather and my uncle taking my boys to shul and feeling so much pride as they watch them pray from the heart. I imagine listening to my grandparents share stories from their childhoods and I imagine myself soaking it all in, while thirsting for more...But these are just dreams that live deep within my imagination...
While standing still for the siren in the cold and windy morning, I feel their warm and loving embrace around me and I know they are with me. And I am with them. And that's how it will always be, for I carry their torch and that torch will continue to live within me, my children, their children and all generations to follow, Please G-d.
With Love,
Cigal
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
It's All About The Children
My four year old daughter is due to have her birthday party in her preschool. Yesterday when I picked her up, one of her teachers and I were talking about making it tomorrow.
Early this morning, after dropping all the kids off at their respective preschools, I phoned my daughter's Gan (preschool) to discuss what I needed to bring to the party. She then said "Wait a minute! We can't tomorrow...Tomorrow is Holocaust Memorial Day...It would be inappropriate. Let's do it on Sunday instead". I agreed and hung up.
Hubby and I were out having a leisurely breakfast at the time. As I hung up, I looked at him and said" I know I just agreed that it would be inappropriate to have a preschool birthday party on Yom HaShoah, but I actually think in some ways, there couldn't be a better and more appropriate day for such a celebration".
When Hitler and his cronies came up with the Final Solution, their ultimate goal was to completely destroy, decimate and annihilate the Jewish people. Their mission was to wipe out babies, children, mothers, fathers and grandparents.
World War 2 began in 1939...In 1941, our people were being led by the hundreds and the thousands to the slaughterhouses, like sheep in cattle cars. Now, sixty six years later, the Jewish people are thriving. We have our own country and our own army. Every day and every hour, new babies join our nation. New couples are formed to build their homes among the Jewish people.
Hitler's grand mission failed. The Jewish people are here to stay. We are a strong, resilient and ever-growing Nation. The sound of Jewish children's laughter fill our homes, our streets, our parks and our classrooms . In my community alone, my heart swells with joy and pride each time I see a beautiful pregnant belly on every street corner or when I go on a bus that's stuffed to the gills with single and double strollers.
The Jewish Revenge is all about the children. The strong, beautiful children who, G-d willing, one day, will build their own Jewish homes and fill them with the joyful laughter of their own children and the chain will continue.
Although my heart aches for the 6 million who perished, among them members of my own family, I gain comfort from knowing that I have contributed to the Jewish Revenge and that this revenge will continue with my children and their children, and their children's children, G-d willing.
May the memories of the victims of the Holocaust be blessed.
יהי זכרם ברוך
With Love,
Cigal
Early this morning, after dropping all the kids off at their respective preschools, I phoned my daughter's Gan (preschool) to discuss what I needed to bring to the party. She then said "Wait a minute! We can't tomorrow...Tomorrow is Holocaust Memorial Day...It would be inappropriate. Let's do it on Sunday instead". I agreed and hung up.
Hubby and I were out having a leisurely breakfast at the time. As I hung up, I looked at him and said" I know I just agreed that it would be inappropriate to have a preschool birthday party on Yom HaShoah, but I actually think in some ways, there couldn't be a better and more appropriate day for such a celebration".
When Hitler and his cronies came up with the Final Solution, their ultimate goal was to completely destroy, decimate and annihilate the Jewish people. Their mission was to wipe out babies, children, mothers, fathers and grandparents.
World War 2 began in 1939...In 1941, our people were being led by the hundreds and the thousands to the slaughterhouses, like sheep in cattle cars. Now, sixty six years later, the Jewish people are thriving. We have our own country and our own army. Every day and every hour, new babies join our nation. New couples are formed to build their homes among the Jewish people.
Hitler's grand mission failed. The Jewish people are here to stay. We are a strong, resilient and ever-growing Nation. The sound of Jewish children's laughter fill our homes, our streets, our parks and our classrooms . In my community alone, my heart swells with joy and pride each time I see a beautiful pregnant belly on every street corner or when I go on a bus that's stuffed to the gills with single and double strollers.
The Jewish Revenge is all about the children. The strong, beautiful children who, G-d willing, one day, will build their own Jewish homes and fill them with the joyful laughter of their own children and the chain will continue.
Although my heart aches for the 6 million who perished, among them members of my own family, I gain comfort from knowing that I have contributed to the Jewish Revenge and that this revenge will continue with my children and their children, and their children's children, G-d willing.
May the memories of the victims of the Holocaust be blessed.
יהי זכרם ברוך
With Love,
Cigal
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