Tomorrow night at sunset, Jewish people all over the globe will begin celebrating the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashana (literally "head of the year"). Rosh Hashana marks the beginning of "The Days of Awe" (Yamim Nora'im). This is the holiest time of the year...A time of year where we are given a chance to atone for our sins and to G-d willing be given a clean slate for the upcoming year.
Rosh Hashana and the days that follow are a time for introspection. A time to have a mirror up close and to take a good look at what we see. It is a time to make amends with people we have wronged and to accept apologies from those who have wronged us. It is a time to make plans for the upcoming year. To think about ways to break free from the chains that enslave us(ie. addictions to things such as technology and food). It is a time to commit to spending more time with the family and less time on Facebook. A time to decide once and for all to join that gym and attend those aerobics/Zumba classes a couple of times a week. A time to make more time in the day for learning Torah and doing chessed( acts of loving kindness).
In the big whirlwind of planning the menu for the upcoming 3 days (6 meals, as we go from Rosh Hashanah straight to Shabbat), it can sometimes take the focus away from what these days really mean. Don't get me wrong. I love my family and I love food. I love having guests around our table. I love feeding my family and I love feeding the honored guests around our table. But I also really want to stay in tune with the other important places my head and my heart are supposed to be for the upcoming days and weeks.
A wonderful and very wise Ima I know gave what I consider to be AMAZING advice:
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
A New Perspective
When I was first becoming religious, more than a decade ago, I was on fire. The spark in my soul( My Pintele Yid, The G-dly spark found in every single Jew) had turned into a flame. I was hungry for spirituality. Hungry for a relationship with my Almighty Father in Heaven. I remember spending hours talking to G-d every day. My prayers were filled with a deep passion and a fervor I had never experienced or felt before...Every time I recited a blessing before or after a snack or a meal, a tremendous sense of serenity would transcend over me after wards...I had finally made my way back Home. Back to my Source. Back to my relationship with my Creator, My Father in Heaven.
When I made Aliyah, that fire was growing and going strong. The passion and the near zealousness were palpable. I felt like my feet were planted firmly on the ground, while my mind, my heart and my soul were transcending the heavens...
A few years after making Aliyah, I had reached a plateau and was what I would call "cruising on the road of Yiddishkeit". I was in a standstill. Not growing...Not seeking to...Just kind of stagnant. And then I went through a very difficult year with a very painful and disappointing relationship. I saw that year as a wake up call. G-d was right there, waiting for me to turn to Him. To pour out my heart to Him. To ask Him for more help and guidance in finding the right person to spend the rest of my life with...
And then I met Hubby. And I felt that spark I had felt years before...Except this time, my G-dly spark was pushing me to want to grow in a different way...To become a better person...To continually develop my relationship with important people in my life. At the time, it still felt like I was kind of cruising and not doing much to develop my relationship with G-d...
Now I'm a wife and a STAHI (Stay at Home Ima). Now instead of waking up in the morning and immediately creating a quiet space for long and meaningful praying time to Abaleh (Hubby's & my nickname for G-d), I make Hubby a bag of healthy snacks for his day before he runs out the door. Then I make a lunch for my boy for his day at preschool. There are good morning hugs and kisses to be given to the little ones; dirty diapers to be changed; breakfasts to prepare and be eaten...It is only after I get home with my baby girl, after we've dropped my boy off at preschool, that I can even contemplate standing before my Maker and thanking him for another wonderful day. Sometimes a sense of guilt sets in..."Gosh, I don't pray enough"...or"I wish I could spend more time in synagogue"...Or "It's so sad that my Avodat Hashem (my worship of G-d) is suffering so much"...
In recent weeks, I have started going to a Torah class with my baby every Wednesday morning. It's geared towards new young mothers and we all bring our babies. All of us are G-d fearing and G-d loving Jewish women, learning to find the perfect balance in our lives between being good wives, good mothers and good Jews. Yesterday, the woman giving over the class began by asking us to each count and say how many mitzvot (commandments) we had each fulfilled that morning before arriving to the class...That question just made my light bulb go on( or as we say in Hebrew, Nafal HaAseemon). It's not that G-d forbid, my Avodat Hashem is suffering or dwindling...Nothing like that. In fact, Hubby always tells me "Ha Osek Be'Mitzvah Patur Mi'Mitzvah"...When you fulfill one commandment, you are exempt from another one. So the fact that I don't spend the same amount of time in deep meditative prayer does not mean that my relationship with G-d is in trouble G-d forbid...Quite the contrary. I feel tremendously blessed that G-d has entrusted Hubby and me with two of His precious Jewels (our kids) and that He believes in us enough to raise them in His ways. My relationship with G-d is now at it's highest peak EVER. He is trusting me to raise the next generation of Jews. What a tremendous honor.
With Love,
Cigal
When I made Aliyah, that fire was growing and going strong. The passion and the near zealousness were palpable. I felt like my feet were planted firmly on the ground, while my mind, my heart and my soul were transcending the heavens...
A few years after making Aliyah, I had reached a plateau and was what I would call "cruising on the road of Yiddishkeit". I was in a standstill. Not growing...Not seeking to...Just kind of stagnant. And then I went through a very difficult year with a very painful and disappointing relationship. I saw that year as a wake up call. G-d was right there, waiting for me to turn to Him. To pour out my heart to Him. To ask Him for more help and guidance in finding the right person to spend the rest of my life with...
And then I met Hubby. And I felt that spark I had felt years before...Except this time, my G-dly spark was pushing me to want to grow in a different way...To become a better person...To continually develop my relationship with important people in my life. At the time, it still felt like I was kind of cruising and not doing much to develop my relationship with G-d...
Now I'm a wife and a STAHI (Stay at Home Ima). Now instead of waking up in the morning and immediately creating a quiet space for long and meaningful praying time to Abaleh (Hubby's & my nickname for G-d), I make Hubby a bag of healthy snacks for his day before he runs out the door. Then I make a lunch for my boy for his day at preschool. There are good morning hugs and kisses to be given to the little ones; dirty diapers to be changed; breakfasts to prepare and be eaten...It is only after I get home with my baby girl, after we've dropped my boy off at preschool, that I can even contemplate standing before my Maker and thanking him for another wonderful day. Sometimes a sense of guilt sets in..."Gosh, I don't pray enough"...or"I wish I could spend more time in synagogue"...Or "It's so sad that my Avodat Hashem (my worship of G-d) is suffering so much"...
In recent weeks, I have started going to a Torah class with my baby every Wednesday morning. It's geared towards new young mothers and we all bring our babies. All of us are G-d fearing and G-d loving Jewish women, learning to find the perfect balance in our lives between being good wives, good mothers and good Jews. Yesterday, the woman giving over the class began by asking us to each count and say how many mitzvot (commandments) we had each fulfilled that morning before arriving to the class...That question just made my light bulb go on( or as we say in Hebrew, Nafal HaAseemon). It's not that G-d forbid, my Avodat Hashem is suffering or dwindling...Nothing like that. In fact, Hubby always tells me "Ha Osek Be'Mitzvah Patur Mi'Mitzvah"...When you fulfill one commandment, you are exempt from another one. So the fact that I don't spend the same amount of time in deep meditative prayer does not mean that my relationship with G-d is in trouble G-d forbid...Quite the contrary. I feel tremendously blessed that G-d has entrusted Hubby and me with two of His precious Jewels (our kids) and that He believes in us enough to raise them in His ways. My relationship with G-d is now at it's highest peak EVER. He is trusting me to raise the next generation of Jews. What a tremendous honor.
With Love,
Cigal
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Be their rock
This morning, my little boy had a hard time letting me leave him at preschool. As I was heading out the door, he burst into tears and called out" Ama, Ama, Ama" (his version of Ima, or Mommy). I felt a real physical pain in my heart. I bent down to the ground at eye level, gave him a hug and a kiss and said" I'm sorry you seem so sad that Ama brought you to gan...I'm sorry you seem like you would like to go back home...Ama loves you very much and will be back to take you home in a few hours. Now it's time to play with your friends and to have a great time". And with that, I stood up, opened the door and walked out, leaving my sweet and darling little boy sobbing his eyes out"Ama, Ama, Ama". I stood outside that door for what seemed like hours, until his cries subsided and then my little girl and I headed home. When we returned to pick him up, he had a huge smile on his face. A smile that said :"Ama, I had lots of fun today, but I'm so happy to see you and that you're taking me home with you".
As Imas, we hate hearing our little ones cry. We wish we could take away every hard feeling they ever have. We want them to be happy and smiling all the time. But that's not real life. Real life is filled with disappointments, both big and small. There are times when our kids will feel sad, scared, hurt, angry, embarrassed, betrayed and many other feelings that are hard to swallow. As much as it pains us to hear our kids expressing these difficult feelings, every single one of them is human. Every single one of them is OK. I want my kids to always feel safe in sharing their feelings with me, no matter what those feelings are. One of my many roles as their Ima, as I see it, is to give them the emotional space to feel whatever they need to feel in that moment. And to be present with them in whichever way they need me to be. That could mean me giving them a hug. It could mean me just sitting quietly next to them as they pour out their hearts to me. Or it could mean me helping them reach their own conclusions/solutions by just hearing them out. The most important thing is to remain a consistent pillar of strength for my kids. This will allow them to feel like they can fall apart if they need to and Ima will remain their rock.
With Love,
Cigal
As Imas, we hate hearing our little ones cry. We wish we could take away every hard feeling they ever have. We want them to be happy and smiling all the time. But that's not real life. Real life is filled with disappointments, both big and small. There are times when our kids will feel sad, scared, hurt, angry, embarrassed, betrayed and many other feelings that are hard to swallow. As much as it pains us to hear our kids expressing these difficult feelings, every single one of them is human. Every single one of them is OK. I want my kids to always feel safe in sharing their feelings with me, no matter what those feelings are. One of my many roles as their Ima, as I see it, is to give them the emotional space to feel whatever they need to feel in that moment. And to be present with them in whichever way they need me to be. That could mean me giving them a hug. It could mean me just sitting quietly next to them as they pour out their hearts to me. Or it could mean me helping them reach their own conclusions/solutions by just hearing them out. The most important thing is to remain a consistent pillar of strength for my kids. This will allow them to feel like they can fall apart if they need to and Ima will remain their rock.
With Love,
Cigal
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sibling Love
In my opinion, the best gift a parent can give their child is a sibling.
My father was married to another woman before he married my mother. He and his first wife have a daughter who grew up as an only child with her mother in France. My parents got married and had me. No siblings on the scene. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and my mom remarried when I was 11 years old. She and her husband had my younger sister when I was 12. Up until that point, I grew up alone. My older sister and I lived oceans away from one another. I went through my parents' divorce alone. Everything I did at home, I did alone. When my younger sister was born, I was on cloud nine...I felt so blessed to have this precious bundle of joy to care for right there, in my home with me...Because I was so much older, I took on a "little mommy" role, changing her diapers, bathing her, feeding her, rocking her to sleep, singing to her...I loved every minute of it. But I remember always wishing that we were closer in age...
My boy, who's 21 months old, adores his little sister, who's almost 5 months old. Every morning when he wakes up, hers is the first name that comes out of his mouth. Every night before bed, her name is the one that comes out of his mouth before he falls asleep...When he comes home from pre-school, he runs into the house calling her name, wanting to hug and kiss her. When she cries, so does he...He's so empathetic to her...
This past Shabbat, I experienced the most heartwarming moment with my kids. My little girl was in her stroller that faces me and my boy was standing on the stroller facing her. In his own little language, he was talking to her. Suddenly, huge smiles broke out on her lips and on his...It was a special moment, just between them. It was Shabbat so I couldn't capture the moment on camera or video, but the memory will remain close to my heart for a very long time.
I pray that the two of them share their own common language for many, many years to come and that they grow up to become the best of friends. I feel extremely blessed that G-d gave them to Hubby and me. But the blessing goes way beyond that. I feel tremendous joy in knowing that they have been blessed with each other.
With Love,
Cigal
My father was married to another woman before he married my mother. He and his first wife have a daughter who grew up as an only child with her mother in France. My parents got married and had me. No siblings on the scene. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and my mom remarried when I was 11 years old. She and her husband had my younger sister when I was 12. Up until that point, I grew up alone. My older sister and I lived oceans away from one another. I went through my parents' divorce alone. Everything I did at home, I did alone. When my younger sister was born, I was on cloud nine...I felt so blessed to have this precious bundle of joy to care for right there, in my home with me...Because I was so much older, I took on a "little mommy" role, changing her diapers, bathing her, feeding her, rocking her to sleep, singing to her...I loved every minute of it. But I remember always wishing that we were closer in age...
My boy, who's 21 months old, adores his little sister, who's almost 5 months old. Every morning when he wakes up, hers is the first name that comes out of his mouth. Every night before bed, her name is the one that comes out of his mouth before he falls asleep...When he comes home from pre-school, he runs into the house calling her name, wanting to hug and kiss her. When she cries, so does he...He's so empathetic to her...
This past Shabbat, I experienced the most heartwarming moment with my kids. My little girl was in her stroller that faces me and my boy was standing on the stroller facing her. In his own little language, he was talking to her. Suddenly, huge smiles broke out on her lips and on his...It was a special moment, just between them. It was Shabbat so I couldn't capture the moment on camera or video, but the memory will remain close to my heart for a very long time.
I pray that the two of them share their own common language for many, many years to come and that they grow up to become the best of friends. I feel extremely blessed that G-d gave them to Hubby and me. But the blessing goes way beyond that. I feel tremendous joy in knowing that they have been blessed with each other.
With Love,
Cigal
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