Stand Up

When I was in high school, I was bullied relentlessly by a group of popular boys and girls who got their jollies by seeing me and other nice kids like me wince in pain as the insults and put downs were released from their unforgiving mouths. I was a hard working, successful (for the most part) student. A nice girl who tried hard to fit in but somehow couldn't.

They made fun of my name, one that wasn't so popular in Canada. They made fun of my weight (I was slightly overweight) and tried to make me feel like I was the most disgusting, despicable and unwanted person on the planet.

Thank G-d for a few angelic friends who never joined in the barrage of taunts and insults. Thank G-d for those who saw me for who I was and loved me anyways.

The teachers didn't notice my pain. And if they did, they turned a blind eye. I felt like there were no grownups in my life to share with...But yet, I survived.

Fast forward to my adult years, I worked as a teacher and as a school counselor for many years and have never allowed any type of bullying to rear its ugly head into my classrooms. I have always had strong messages for the bullies, the bullied and the bystanders.

To my tormentors during high school, I feel sorry for you. You must have been going through some terrible things yourselves, that made you feel the need to try destroying my soul and the souls of other sweet, kind and sensitive kids who caused you no harm.

To my angel friends, who stood by me, held my hand, dried my tears and gave me strength to return to school the next day, you know who you are. Thank you. You helped me stay above water and allowed me to build a strong armor around myself that would not allow me to crack.

To those of you who stood by and watched as they tortured me, picked on me and tried to destroy me, SHAME ON YOU. In Judaism, there is a very powerful concept of "Lo Ta'amod al Dam Re'echa...Do not stand idly by as your brother's blood is being spilled". I pray that you have all developed a thicker skin and that you now stand up to injustice when you see it.

To all of you, my dear readers, do NOT be bystanders. Especially nowadays, with the evolution of bullying. Now we hear stories on the news of kids who committed suicide because of cyber bullying through email, Facebook or Twitter. Stay alert. Stay aware of who your child is friends with (or not). Keep lines of communication safe and open. Parents, TALK TO YOUR KIDS DAILY. Street proof them. Give them a broad feelings vocabulary and make them know you have their backs. Teach them that they are strong, beautiful and worthy and don't deserve to be treated like garbage. You have the ability and the tools to teach your kids resilience. START NOW.

With Love,
Cigal

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